Kill the mother-in-law (including Victoria Beckham)

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If there is a stereotype that refuses to abandon us, that is the

in-law , the 'bad mother-in-law'.

It could be argued that if it resists so much it is because it is a reality that

over time, as if the changes in social models, relationships, kinship, did not affect it and in this matter we were still anchored in that first day in which , when

a contract would also have been instituted under which the mothers of the contracting parties would continue to act as such, even if they had to compete with daughters-in-law and sons-in-law, Machiavelli as patron saint through, until the end of days.

Now the stereotype has been embodied in

and

Last week we woke up with headlines such as 'Victoria Beckham, at war with her daughter-in-law Nicola Peltz, wife of her son Brooklyn' or 'Nicola Peltz explains the' bad vibes 'with her mother-in-law, Victoria Beckham'.

She smelled of blood.

The problems would have started at the very

, when

wore a dress that was not her mother-in-law's signature (anathema!).

The networks began to burn, someone said that both had stopped following each other on Instagram, followed by a photo of

and a post of Victoria Beckham with a brief "wound".

And now, the uncontrolled snowball down the slope: what if they didn't speak to each other, what if

what a character the former Spice Girl had, and so on.

Finally, Nicola Peltz gave an

to

(what to do, mother).

In it she said: "I was going to [wear a Victoria Beckham signature wedding dress] and really wanted to, but [Victoria] realized her atelier couldn't do it, so I had to choose another dress. She didn't." He told me he couldn't wear it; I didn't say I didn't want to wear it. That's where this whole mess started and then the

continued , "clarified the actress, model and billionaire heiress.

Mothers-in-law, we are the worst

Feuds

between

have always existed, like those between sons-in-law and fathers-in-law (and in general, like those between people forced to be

without being so,

as if it weren't already difficult enough to get along with those who are relatives).

of your own blood), only the former 'shine' more (who hasn't met in-laws who secretly hate their sons-in-law but say nothing out of mere economy of emotional resources?).

in the collective imagination for

as long as both have existed, which is the same as saying that both figures are, to a great extent, an interested product of the

most blatant

"When do you want a mother-in-law with a daughter-in-law? When the donkey climbs the stairs", says an old saying, one of the hundreds that exist in this regard.

"You will get rid of the devil, but you will not be able to get rid of your mother-in-law."

"In a house where there is a mother-in-law, there is no good time."

"Dung and mother-in-law, underground."

"Mother-in-law, lawyer and doctor, the farther the better."

"Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, dog and cat, do not eat from the same plate."

And so, an endless string of insults in verse to the mother-in-law that curdled our proverb with spoken hatred.

What is just folklore?

Well,

himself felt compelled in April of this year to touch on the subject.

"She is compared to the

, but she is the mother of your husband," he said during a

.

Of course, he then spoiled it a bit by addressing the mother-in-laws with this wonderful comment: "Be careful with your tongue, it is one of your sins."

But what are those things to be said in the XXI century, sir.

Anyway.

What is clear is that the stereotype is more alive than ever, even in the Vatican.

That no... that's not it.

The comment was appropriate because the conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is one of the main causes of divorce in the West, Spain included.

In fact, excessive attachment to the mother is

of the marriage by the very Church.

No jokes.

Mothers-in-law annoy us because we talk

The mother-in-law is annoying for various reasons.

For starters, because

For some reason, generations around the world have thought, since the world began, that a

is a

isolated from everything, but it is not at all.

On the contrary, marriage establishes, and in fact that is largely its reason for being, a series of inescapable social ties and that, however light they may be, affect your life.

If you don't want them, don't get married.

And point.

On the other hand, you never stop being a mother to your children, and you will continue to be the mother you were, because you don't have a switch that turns off your relationship with your child or restricts it to a low-energy mode.

If the relationship was intense, she will continue to be unless you put miles of distance in between.

And this, eye, with the

or daughter in question.

Because

-in-law are blamed as if they were

when we know from our forced Catholic instruction that sins can be by

He who is silent grants, says another saying that - this yes, - we constantly forget because it suits us.

Thus, turning the

in-law into the

is a classic

because it helps us, from the outset, to

to another.

Inheritance of the most recalcitrant machismo

On the other hand,

is inherited from a

where the one who has not the last, but the

is the

(and of course, in this equation, the mother-in-law, who is almost never willing to shut up, annoyed).

wrote

in his infamous 'Of twelve qualities of women' (1947), "marriage was defined by an acute philosopher as 'a long conversation'. But it is a conversation led by the husband, in front of which the woman keeps a last reticence, a definitive doubtful objection".

Many years later, in the 1980s, the

was 'enriched' with another no less disturbing one, which helped keep this family figure at its lowest in popularity:

The mother-in-law became the maruja by definition, that malevolently characterized woman, wrote

in her extraordinary 'A brief history of misogyny' (Lumen) due to "papanatism, fondness for gossip and slander, uncontrolled consumerism of programs of the heart and indolence".

The word, lamented the author, "has become one of the worst female stigmas."

And she added: "

, as if we were talking about an inferior being, even abject, without being aware that when we refer to some women as 'marujas' we are literally identifying, at the most elementary and immediate level, the woman with shameful behaviors that we detest".

Fortunately, the word

has been out of everyday speech (and in the media!) for many years, and it is likely that the younger generations no longer even identify its evil meaning.

But not even for those reasons has the mother-in-law stopped being a 'family demon'.

Look at Victoria Beckham.

Look at

and

who apparently, we read in some media, "do not maintain a very cordial relationship."

Look at

and

(what a scandal, they don't have photos together, something is going on for sure).

And look, of course, at the queen of all mothers-in-law,

and her 'bad relationship' with

Few topics have given so much to talk about in the press and in the bars of all the bars, in recent summers.

I personally consider myself a wonderful mother-in-law.

I have my bad moments, like everyone else, but I'm the antithesis of a bad witch.

I am just an adult woman who expresses her opinions when she should to the same extent that she expresses her love to whom she professes it without stinginess, whether son or daughter-in-law.

And, above all, I am a woman who accepted for a long time that conflict is part of everyday life.

You just have to know how to manage it (of course the other also has to do his part, if not, turn off and go ... go.

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