The editorial staff of
20 Minutes
accompanies you during the summer.
Because this period is often that of big nonsense on the heart and on the ass side, the "club of 4" at your service gives you some "hot stuff" to spend two months "tchatchatcha", every Monday evening at 7:30 p.m.
So if you don't know what to talk about at aperitif time, we're here and, in the headset, we talk to you about nudes, Tinder vacations, skin and hot sand.
In this third episode of our series "And more if affinities", we look at the summer ingredients that come in the way of our sunny sex lives.
Salt promotes the appearance of mycoses, sand is "abrasive", chlorine "acid" but the most dangerous ingredient for our sunny antics could come from us and our unconscious...
The season of love and sex is open.
For the occasion, we stock up on vitamin D and we take our nose out from under the duvet to transpose our antics in the sun or on the beach.
But if all the ingredients are there to chain the sex sessions like margaritas, a few grains of sand can – literally – come to drag the gears.
Salt, sand, chlorine and whatnot invite themselves into our parts of legs in the air but what are the risks of summer sex?
And how to guard against it?
“Sea, sex and sun”… The triptych is enticing.
Water is often associated with eroticism or sensuality.
So in summer, when you have the chance to put your toes on a warm sandy beach, the desire to imitate the song of Gainsbourg and the “unresolved wave” that “comes and goes” is heady.
However, the aquatic environment is not very suitable for our antics – even if there is now an aqua-sutra.
Sacrosanct penetration and holy water
“Water does not lubricate at all and you cannot put lubricant in water, so it risks being an abrasive relationship” whether vaginal or anal, underlines sex therapist Margot Fried-Filliozat, author of
Intimate intelligence – Unleash your desire and invent your sexuality
.
Also, condoms are unsafe for water sex, partly because natural lubrication is virtually negated by water, which increases the risk of them tearing.
It is therefore advisable to try the experience only with a regular partner – and after the usual screening tests.
We take this opportunity to remind you that if you have sex between women, you are not immune to an STI.
However, if the penetration is abrasive in an aquatic environment, “there are plenty of other things like the stimulation of the clitoris.
And in the water, it is quite appropriate, for example, ”recalls Adrien Gantois, midwife.
The opportunity to take a holiday from sacrosanct penetration to make a stopover for caresses, massages and external stimulation.
Without forgetting to protect our bodies from the external elements.
The heat and the humidity lurking in the shade
The spokesperson for Pipelettes, an online chat where midwives answer young people (completely anonymously) about sexual health, reminds us that salt also has a deleterious effect.
Adrien Gantois compares the vaginal flora to a garden which, when in full bloom, is filled with “beautiful hydrangeas”.
In summer, the risk of seeing this "garden" invaded by "nettles" increases because bacteria proliferate in humid and warm environments, he explains.
"After swimming, you must rinse with clear water and change to avoid the occurrence of mycoses", advises the professional.
Swapping sea water for chlorinated water is not much better.
"Chlorine has an acidic character and will participate in disrupting the vaginal flora", deciphers Adrien Gantois who repeats that you have to rinse with fresh water and dry yourself well.
"Making love in the water is not a very good idea, especially since there are a lot of bacteria, especially in swimming pools," adds sex therapist Margot Fried-Filliozat.
Would you like some sandpaper again?
In men too "mycosis can also occur in the glans or penis" especially when there was a lot of humidity, recalls Adrien Gantois.
Intimate hygiene is important to avoid the occurrence of these inconveniences but in women, be careful not to wash the inside of the vagina.
It is abrasive and destructive to flora.
Just like sand, which can have a "sandpaper" effect.
A sexual relationship on a heavenly beach unfortunately rhymes with these grains of sand distilled everywhere "on the towel, in the eyes, in the hair, on the fingers".
“We have this social construction that sexual freedom is making love in lots of different places like on the beach and often, these are not comfortable places”, underlines Margot Fried-Filliozat, who regrets that the 'we create “new injunctions” and advocate “enjoyment in simplicity”.
The trap of the sex bucket list
Let's feel free to make love on the beach.
But “you always have to ask yourself what excites me about this idea.
Is it the fact of being able to be seen, of being in the sun, of feeling loved at any time, of experiencing this beauty of the beach with my or my partner?
», sketches Margot Fried-Filliozat.
“We can be completely fulfilled without focusing on new positions or new places, where we are focused on the outside rather than what is happening in our hearts or our bodies”, underlines the sex therapist.
More than salt, sand or chlorine, the most dangerous summer ingredient for our sexualities… It would rather be conformism.
All and all bludgeoned by the images of Epinal, the films and the representations of tanned, wet and breathless (but always sexy) bodies, we create fantasies outside our own sensuality.
And as a result, "people's fantasies are generally all a bit the same, they are very codified and stereotyped, they are no longer imagined", regrets Margot Fried-Filliozat.
All our summer series here
So rather than considering our sex lives as a “bucket list” with places and positions to “do”, let’s listen to ourselves.
Let's listen to the consent of the other, always, but also to our inner desires.
This summer, we trade the sexual “bucket list” for a blank notebook.
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