Sweetheart stories: I was never blonde at heart

Congratulations, dear

newspaper!

You're celebrating your seventieth birthday and could therefore have been retired long ago, which some people might wish you fervently.

We don't count because we know what we have in you: Without a

, this column would be almost unthinkable.

Jorg Thomann

Editor in the “Life” section of the Frankfurter Allgemeine Sunday newspaper.

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On your Friday cover you depicted a large number of celebrities whose path you accompanied.

Open-hearted and loyal informers include Lothar Matthäus, Harald Juhnke, Franz Beckenbauer and Thomas Gottschalk, as well as Chaplin, Elvis and Monroe and, self-deprecating insider gag, Günter Wallraff.

But where is Dieter Bohlen, with whom you lived in perfect symbiosis in all the “DSDS” years – confidential information against friendly press?

Where are those people you made your creatures to dedicate to them scandalous headlines by the dozen, like “Germany's cheekiest unemployed”?

where are they all

Where are Rainer Wendt and Heinz Buschkowsky, from whom you can call up outraged quotes 24/7 about failed social and migration policies?

Where are Streeck, Stöhr and Schmidt-Chanasit, your heart's corona experts?

Where is Richard Grenell, Trump's ambassador to Germany, whom you always court?

Where is Sebastian Kurz, whom you once cheered with the words "We need someone like that too"?

It is not surprising that Angela Merkel is not there.

But Lindner, Söder and von der Leyen – and nobody from the SPD or the Greens, with which

faithfully depicts their own political line.

Unlike the young ladies that

used to show in the past, the candidates for a new campaign no longer appear bare-breasted: “

sucht Sommer-Girl und -Boy” – in just that mishmash of language that suggests that the

readership knows the English words for boy and girl, but not the one for summer.

Twins also sent in a "cheerful, cheeky, fresh photo application": "Jessica (28, left) from Leipzig is 11 minutes older than her identical twin sister Jennifer: 'That's why I'm more sensible.'" Strangely enough, she still wants a

- become a summer girl.

Spanking instead of fries

already delivered a sensational headline

on Wednesday, "Violence alarm in our outdoor pools" - and above it the line "Earlier fries - today beatings".

Does that mean you can't get fries in the bathrooms anymore?

Beatings don't seem like a good substitute, even if they're free.

Said yes to her Franjo a second time, as she also spreads in the

, Verona Pooth.

She even fits into her old Chanel wedding dress, which she once got from Karl Lagerfeld: "The Chanel box in which it was delivered was as big as my first small apartment when I moved out at the age of 19," says you.

"I could have moved into that box." Hopefully she's kept it somewhere, it might come in handy in harder times.

Heike Makatsch's family also seems to be cost-conscious.

lets her know that in her closet are "hanging dresses, blouses and trousers that are shamelessly put on by every member of the family without asking".

Each member, that includes her three daughters as well as her partner and colleague Trystan Pütter.

At the next red carpet event we'll see how Makatsch's dresses and blouses suit him.

The mistake of her life

, once made a change in style

: “I had beautiful waist-length hair as a child.

My mother allowed me to cut them off when I was 13.

That was the biggest mistake of my life!” After all, she was once married to Brad Pitt, who cheated on her with Angelina Jolie.

Anyway, it would have been fun if all the "Friends" fans had walked around with a "Rachel" cut that was hair down to the waist.

According to

, Aniston recently made another mistake that brought her a shitstorm.

Hollywood, she said, today is full of people who are "famous for doing nothing" like "Monica Lewinsky or Paris Hilton".

This shitstorm seems deserved: Lewinsky didn't become famous because she

do something.

Like

, Christine Neubauer celebrated her birthday, but only her sixtieth.

About her José

, she says : "There's always something going on here, two continents and mentalities collide." If that's the case, then the collision must have created new mountains somewhere, and geoscientists should investigate.

About the phase in which she wore her hair blond, Neubauer says: "It was fun, an adventure, I was never blond at heart." We can understand that.

We don't have that very, very high receding hairline in our hearts either.

At heart we have wonderful full hair.