'Dietapolleces'

First of all, sorry for the rudeness.

Or not.

Because there are times in life (quite a few) when walking around with hot cloths is so corny and prim that it pulls back.

"Better once red than a hundred, yellow," says that popular wisdom so common at home that reminds us that what is sensible, in these times, is usually the opposite of the seasonal 'trending topic' that dominates our lives.

A trend that, at this point in the year, reminds us that we (presumably) need to

, erase the

dimples on our thighs and, incidentally, the squiggly traces of

on our laps.

And it is now, at this point of the year (also after Christmas), when it's time to search harder than ever in the bizarre and unpredictable trunk of

to find out which one is really going to hit it. in the season that just started.

And, the most curious of all, is that, the more absurd, the

and the more famous the celebrity who has followed her -managing to lose a dozen kilos in the trance-, the more successful the subject in question will be.

Because, of course, here it is not enough to say that you have to eat healthy and move as much as possible (and more).

What we like (let's face it) is the epic, rejoicing in our sacrifice after spending three days on detox juices.

Telling that

until we fall into a championship ketosis (and still

) or that, for months, we have had nothing but

, which, according to David Beckham, is the only night menu that Victoria tastes since they started dating.

A plan that, although terribly boring, at least does not fall into the ridicule of other much more absurd options that would be funny if they were not a real danger to health.

'Ideites' such as the one known as the

to which, apparently, the former Spice Girl is also fond and that it is "an aggressive diet that exploits as a basis a study carried out in Japan a decade ago that attributes the loss of body weight to the effect of the acetic acid in vinegar on lipid metabolism", according to experts from the European Medical Institute on Obesity (IMEO).

Or, that of the

which, as its name suggests, consists of feeding on jars of baby food, as if Mother Nature had not given us other succulent and healthy alternatives such as preparing a good plate of lentils or a gazpacho that, in this season you want a lot more.

Along with these 'dietapolleces', a term derived from that very famous 'nutripolleces' that Anthony Warner, the pissed off chef, coined so wisely, there is a whole series of 'tricks' to stave off hunger, such as sucking on

, a trend that became super fashionable last year due to its (false) slimming power.

So what do we do if we want to lose weight?

I think that, deep down, we all know that answer: go to

who certifies that we

and designs

or flogging that, although Victoria Beckham and Kim Kardashian feel great, it does not have why work for us?

And, while we are at it, adopt

, based on a plan that never fails, the wonder diet:

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