Ophélie Artaud 4:35 p.m., June 13, 2022

In the program "Bienfait pour vous", psychologist Ariane Calvo and author Alice Marchandeau returned to the syndrome of abandonment, a problem that presents itself as a panic fear of separation and which ends up having real consequences. in the lives of those affected.

When the fear of rejection from others ends up ruining life.

In the program

Bienfait pour vous

, at the microphone of Julia Vignali and Mélanie Gomez, Ariane Calvo, psychologist and author, returned to the notion of abandonment syndrome in the presence of the author Alice Marchandeau who, abandoned when she was only a baby in India then adopted by a French family, lived all his life with this problem.

A panic fear of separation that has repercussions in all aspects of daily life, whether in family, love or professional life.

A wound that is created in early childhood

Concretely, the abandonment syndrome could be defined as "an assemblage of behaviors which manifest themselves in adulthood by a fear of separations of all types. There are more or less symbolic indicators such as hating to travel, hating to do suitcases, hate moving," explains Ariane Calvo.

A wound that is created in early childhood, "before the age of 6, where a feeling of abandonment will engrave the same trace in the brain as an experience of abandonment. Once an adult, if no one can really abandon us , the feeling is so strong and it reactivates something powerful that we have the impression that we could die of it”, underlines the psychologist.

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Talk about it with your children

In the event that you are unavailable for your child, the best thing is to talk about it with him, "to put the words on it so that he understands what is happening", advises Ariane Calvo.

In adolescence, emotional dependence manifests itself more in the form of anger and, in this case, the best thing to do is to "validate the teenager's anger, to tell him that it is normal", advises the psychologist.

Once an adult, the fear of abandonment can end up causing big problems in social, romantic or professional life.

This can manifest as jealousy or a desire to control others and can end up accelerating the dreaded separation.

Get to know each other to get by

The good news is that while abandonment syndrome seems to have a big impact on life, it is also possible to break free from it.

"Obviously, psychotherapy can help to know yourself. Because when this is the case, you know that you can no longer be abandoned", underlines Ariane Calvo.

And for those who do not wish to go through this stage, it is also possible to free themselves from this syndrome of abandonment on their own, in particular "by practicing "journaling", a technique widely used in the United States, which consists of write about yourself, every day".

>> Find all the programs of Mélanie Gomez and Julia Vignali from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Europe 1 in replay and podcast here

A form of therapy that Alice Marchandeau practiced without really knowing it, through the writing of her book.

"For four years, I wrote this collection for myself, until I thought that I could publish it, to help at least one person to recognize themselves in it", explains the author.

Recognize and understand each other to finally free yourself from this wound of abandonment.