"Moving is an opportunity to reinvent yourself", according to Thibaut Sallenave

• Every Friday,

  20 Minutes

  invites a personality to comment on a social phenomenon in his

  20 Minutes

  meeting with…

• As summer approaches, many French people move house, often under stress.

• In

  Changes of address, a philosophy of moving,

  which has just been published,

  Thibaut Sallenave, doctor of philosophy, delivers an original analysis on the upheavals caused by the change of place of life.

Promise of happiness or renunciation?

Like many French people as summer approaches, you may be packing your bags for an upcoming move.

A process that may seem like a formality for some, but which is a real upheaval for others.

In

which has just been released in bookstores, Thibaut Sallenave, doctor of philosophy and teacher in the preparatory class, analyzes what this mobility provokes in us.

For

, he explains how the move is "a way of replaying his life".

"Moving is a crucial experience of existence", you write.

Is it true that it is one of the most stressful events in life for the French?

Yes, for several reasons.

First of all because it imposes deadlines to be respected.

If three months are necessary to carry out a move, it is not always possible to have this time.

This imposes an organization to the line.

Changing residence also means agreeing to disturb one's interior, to sort through one's belongings, which can be a source of discomfort.

Putting our material anchorage on hold can also be experienced as a kind of vertigo.

Not to mention the anxiety that we feel at the idea of ​​not succeeding in appropriating our next home.

Is moving a valued act in a society that elevates mobility as a value?

This is even more the case since the health crisis.

Because the confinements have transformed the perception we had of our homes.

They appeared to us as vulnerable to the virus and suffocating.

Hence the desire to look for another, which is a more protective cocoon.

This is what partly explains the installation of certain city dwellers in the countryside.

How is a move “an opportunity to fulfill oneself more authentically”, as you write?

The change of domicile, when it is chosen, often seals a new stage in life: settling in with one's spouse, expanding the family, a new job… These great moments are experienced as forms of accomplishment.

This is an opportunity to rebuild oneself elsewhere, to encounter novelty, to reinvent oneself.

This experience can transform our identity.

Does changing the place of life mobilize qualities in us?

This mobilizes organizational and adaptive qualities.

We are suddenly forced to get rid of habits, to rearrange our identity according to a new habitat.

This reveals our ability to adapt to new constraints, to tame a place so that it reflects our image.

Can we experience a form of liberation in parting with certain pieces of furniture and objects?

This work of disappropriation can be difficult at first, especially since it generates nostalgia.

But leaving things behind also means making room for the person with whom you share your life.

It's opening up to a new part of life, decluttering both literally and figuratively.

In what way is leaving a place where one has lived a form of mourning?

This is especially the case when a move is suffered.

For example, in the event of a break-up, departure to a retirement home, loss of employment, death of a spouse, etc. Moving is then experienced as an uprooting, a phase of dispossession.

It's a page of life that is closing, a situation that is all the more painful because it had not been anticipated.

But even when a move has been chosen, it's still a small death.

There is always a tearing point, because it is both a change of space, but also a temporal change and a more intimate displacement.

How to overcome it?

As in any grieving process, time must be allowed to pass.

It must be admitted that moving on to another stage of life supposes a form of renunciation.

Is changing residence more often a positive event for people from CSP +?

Moving can be linked to social emancipation, for example when a young person finds their first job and settles down alone.

Or when a household accesses the property.

But in recent years, changing your home seems more like a luxury that is not accessible to everyone.

Since the Covid-19 crisis, those who move are mainly executives or liberal professions who can telecommute.

What does the choice of a new address say about us?

It often recounts our social trajectory.

Moving to a nice neighborhood is seen as a sign of professional success.

You can also choose where to live depending on the image you want to convey: a bohemian district, a peaceful village… Provided, of course, that you have the choice.

Because sometimes, our address precisely reflects the fact of a default choice.

What do repeated moves cause for those who are forced to do so, such as military families, for example?

This sometimes creates a kind of obligation to keep others at a distance, because we know we won't stay.

And the feeling that you are never at home anywhere.

Hence a form of loneliness, even insecurity.

On the other hand, does the fact of not having moved for a very long time settle us in a stability which can be, in the long run, a trap?

Avoiding moving when your home is no longer very suitable and you have the means to do so often means avoiding an inner conflict.

Because we are installed in a routine that curbs the desire for mobility.

We don't want to leave the cocoon.

We give in to the tyranny of habits.

However, there is always an element of the unexpected in the search for happiness.

Company

Friendship: "When we break up with a friend, we can miss him for life", underlines Anne-Laure Buffet

Company

Food aid: Associations fear an increase in the number of beneficiaries… and a drop in donations

*

, Thibaut Sallenave, Aube editions, 20 euros.

• Company

• Move

• Interview

• 20 minutes with

• Lodging

• Philosophy