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Many things have been said about Noemí Casquet, and not all of them for the better.

The journalist and writer specializing in sexuality has been questioned many times simply for placing sex at the center of her work.

"There is a point that generates discomfort; they have pointed out a lot to me, accusing me of labor intrusion," she explains, alluding to her training.

As he tells us, "a sports journalist is not required to be a footballer, a gastronomic journalist is not required to be a chef and a health journalist is not criticized for not being a doctor..., but if you are specialized in sexuality, you are required to be a sexologist.

She is a journalist, she directs the program 'Santa Mandanga', she loves popcorn and jazz and has been writing and disseminating sex for 12 years, something very unusual in our country, "we have Celia Blanco and she stops counting," she says.

Author of the trilogy '

Zorras

', with more than 150,000 copies sold, she has just presented the novel '

Almas

', the second part of a bilogy that focuses on the loss of identity and that pushes the line that separates good from wrong, a work that has bothered a lot.

"There are people who have become very nervous with the protagonist. That for me is a success because building complex characters is very complicated," she says.

It has not been, nor is it being, an easy road.

But Noemí is not shy and assures that being a writer and a sexuality

disseminator

are the only two things that she would do for the rest of her life.

"I love both facets, I don't know if I could choose one. Besides, one thing lives on the other. Now I am researching the sexual practices of

ancient

civilizations , those of Taoism, ancient Egypt..., all of that helps me write

fiction

and

to evolve

as a writer and as a journalist".

But at what point does a journalist decide to specialize in

sexuality

?, we ask him;

It is not something that is studied in career courses or that is a priori associated with the profession.

For her it was as

natural

as the naturalization that she defends for sex: "Sometimes we forget that sex is in our origin. It is natural, and what is natural is not questionable," she tells us.

That is why she began with disclosure at the age of 14, just as naturally.

"My mother has always

educated

me in a free way, without

taboos

.

So when I had a question, I asked him and he solved it for me without any problem.

When my friends wanted to know something, she also asked my mother and then told them.

I liked her and I saw that people loved how she explained things," she adds.

Angel Navarrete

From there to the University, which marked a turning point.

"I already had a blog about

sexuality

and I submitted it for a project in a

subject

. The teacher reproached me for doing it to attract the attention of the male audience and called me a slut in front of the whole class. Then I realized that I was in something else, in a

fight

. And there I continue".

A battle in which she has had such unusual references as her, her

mother

and her

grandmother

, a woman who inspired her although at first she neither understood nor accepted her.

"He forced me to constantly reaffirm myself in what I did. Now, however, he knows everything I do and encourages me: '

Experiment

, live, love everything you can and whoever you want because I couldn't do it,' he tells me. He will be in the family lineage...", he jokes between laughs.

The priestess of sex

Noemí speaks clearly and without complexes about all kinds of topics and is not a typical profile.

Polyamorous and not monogamous, she defines herself with some of the concepts that others attribute to her.

"They tell me that I am like a

priestess

of sex. They have also called me sexploradora and

sexnauta

, like a traveler or seeker of sex. I also consider myself a bit of a

sorceress

... And above all, a free person and in constant evolution and growth; it is something obsessive for me, because we are in this life for that".

And it's what also allows us to know ourselves, "the most important thing when we talk about

sexuality

, because if we don't know who we are we won't be able to establish our parameters within

pleasure

and we'll pass limits that will later make us feel bad".

Because beyond what is right or wrong, sex "is built with consent, without it we cannot talk about sexuality," insists Noemí, "it is important to know what we want and what we like. And learn to

limit

.

Does

masturbation

play an important role in this self-knowledge ?

"It helps, but you don't have to stay in a

genital area

. It's important to know how you feel when they touch your chest or give you a head or foot massage... You have to know what our bodily limits are," answers Noemí.

Angel Navarrete

Will there come a time when women talk about sex the same way men talk about football? Women are talking a lot about sex, more than men and also in a more natural way, about our experiences, our fears, our emotions... On the other hand, there are issues that men do not touch if they are in public, for example if they have not achieved an erection, ejaculate too quickly or do not know how to give pleasure to another person.

His vast majority of conversations are always from the role of the machote.

Social roles continue to condition us a great deal. Does the idea that there is no full relationship without an orgasm also condition us? Yes.

It's something obsessive, so much so that many people are too lazy to sit there working for half an hour until they reach orgasm.

It seems that without him there is no sex.

It dont have any relation to.

Limiting sex to orgasms is like limiting life to breathing.

It is one more experience within what sexuality can offer you.

In addition, there are many types beyond the vaginal and the clitoral, which is a super macho move that Freud left us.

Some can be peak (where the intensity rises a lot and then drops very quickly), others valley (which increase little by little), others release emotions and you start to cry or laugh... limiting it to something physical is a mistake .

When we investigate ancestral sexuality, Taoism and Tantrism, you see that they come in all shapes and colors, even expanded and cosmic.

That cosmic orgasm thing sounds like another dimension... They're the shit, they sublimate sexual energy, you feel them all over your body or even above it, because you enter an altered state of consciousness.

I have experienced it a couple of times and it has changed my life.

Much work is done in Taoism and within Tantrism.

But we don't need to go that far;

sexuality in ancient Egypt already dealt with all this, it was very aware of the energetic power of orgasms, it is almost a type of magic. It does not seem easy for your partners, it must be impressive to be with you...There are many expectations regarding sex and I have to deal with it.

It's almost a scourge, I have a hard time flirting and finding a sexual partner.

There are many issues that weigh, for example being non-monogamous.

But my bonds today, the people who are with me, are very strong.

And I prefer them to having a herd identity by my side.

I am very happy and grateful with the affective and sexual life that I have at the moment. Speaking of sex toys,

Is it better alone than in bad company? They are a lot of fun and offer us an interaction with our lovers, another tool.

The danger is in depending on them.

If we program our brain to the intensity of a clitoral sucker, we will get used to the fact that it is the only way to achieve an orgasm and we will hardly feel pleasure afterward with other stimuli.

What rules do we have left to break in terms of sex? More than breaking a rule, we should realize that sex is at the origin of everything;

we have as a taboo what life has given us.

We come from there, how can it be bad, sin or unnatural?

You have to honor it and enjoy it. What should a good sexual ritual be like? Especially with time.

Today it seems that it is like doing homework or taking out the garbage, one more task.

And no, you have to dedicate some time to pleasure, start with the whole body,

massaging ourselves with oils, with music, with incense, with candles... And from then on, support the person, look us in the eye and smile at us, do whatever we feel like without worrying about whether I have a Michelin star or has lost the erection.

If that happens twice a day, then perfect as long as it doesn't cause you any anxiety or dependency.

And if it's once a month, then just as wonderful.

When your body tells you to, listen to it. How do we deal with polyamory so that it doesn't get out of hand? Obviously it's not for everyone, just like monogamy isn't.

The best thing is to keep contracts with your partners where each one sets their limits.

The first thing is a relational agreement to see what is allowed and what is not.

Then comes the emotional management, because it is going to remove many things from us.

And what do we do to maintain the desire in a long-term relationship? The issue becomes twisted when routine comes into play and our mind goes on autopilot, as with the clitoris sucker.

It is a known body, we know what is going to happen and that does not make us curious.

It is very important not to have any expectations.

And it is not necessary to think about the orgasm: if we suddenly get involved in the kitchen because of a horny situation, we do not have to solve it, we can go to work calmly and finish it on the way back, nothing happens.

It is also important to go on a sexual journey as a couple, to start trying new things so as not to limit ourselves to what is established. And what about the famous G-spot?

It seems impossible to find... It is very accessible to everyone, it is a rough area similar to the palate that is inside the vaginal canal, towards the navel.

Now there is more talk about the G zone, to avoid that idea that it is like pressing a button... It is worth looking for and experimenting;

you were born with it.

Angel Navarrete

After a long chat with Noemí I realize how little I know about the subject, so I can't say goodbye without one last

practical class

: what is the recipe for quality sex?

"Communication, and

consensus

; surprises, only at Christmas. Consensus is very

sexy

. And it's also important to support the other person on the journey and be curious; there is a world beyond what we have been told."

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