Ms. Runge, almost every fourth mother of children under the age of 6 is on parental leave, but only every 60th of the fathers. Why is there still this stark difference in 2022?
It's bitter, but parenting is still not lived out on an equal footing.
Some men seem to want that today: According to the “Fathers’ Report” 2021, every second father would like to take on half of the childcare.
But the reality is different: only in almost every sixth case do the parents look after the offspring 50:50.
What is your explanation for this?
On the one hand traditional role models.
It is taken for granted that the woman is responsible for the offspring.
Unfortunately, there are often financial reasons, which I find understandable.
Unfortunately, in many cases the man earns more, and then the woman stays at home with the child – especially when things could get tight financially.
Parental allowance also encourages women to stay at home longer.
In what way?
Parents receive parental allowance for 14 months.
A parent can take up to 12 months of this.
Most of the time, the mother makes full use of these 12 months, especially if she earns less.
The father then only applies for the remaining two “father months”.
This creates an imbalance between caring and gainful employment.
Her solution?
Incentives for equal sharing.
For example, the couple only gets the 14 months of parental allowance if one stays at home for at least 5 months.
Or the state pays 18 months if everyone stays 9 months.
Such rules would have the positive side effect that men would take more care of the offspring and women would try to get back to work.
But then the childcare would also have to be right: sufficient daycare places and childcare times that are geared to the needs of parents.
In addition, an upgrade and more money for educators and daycare providers.
What is your advice to parents?
Have an interim report drawn up before the baby break.
Having your job and position described in detail, what you do and where you are in the company – then you have clear arguments when the employer says that the job is suddenly no longer there.
Get promises such as "No problem, you'll work part-time later" in writing, preferably on paper with a signature.
Take out legal protection insurance so that you can afford to sue if the worst comes to the worst.
Ask for a personal interview with the employer three to four months before you return to work.
As a couple, think about how you imagine parental leave and re-entry, make agreements and ideally put them in writing.
Do you also have any special advice for women?
to become bolder!
Make clear demands: “I now sat out for the children.
For that I would like life insurance or that you sign over the house to me.” Working from home is good, but not only please.
You have to show yourself, assert yourself again, have personal conversations.
If you also sit at home after the child break, you will be put even more in the mother's corner.
And above all: If you have the feeling that you are being discriminated against because of your parenthood, you have to fight back.
Sandra Runge is a lawyer in Berlin and has two sons. She advises on disadvantages in connection with pregnancy, parental leave and return.