Recently, the topics of fitness and reading are the traffic on the Internet, and at the same time, it has also caused heated discussions: how to insist on doing a meaningful thing, not afraid to start, nor give up halfway?
Psychologists give very practical advice.
Yangzi Evening News/Ziniu News reporter Shen Zhao
The beginning of everything is difficult, but it is natural
A friend of the reporter has recently become obsessed with watching fitness live broadcasts. He enjoys watching it every day, and there are many more related videos in his favorites, but why is it not working?
When I ask what it is, it turns out to be just "seeing" and watching other people's movements.
"Fitness is a good thing, why can't you persevere? It is said that fitness is something that will pay off as long as you work hard." But to such a question, his friend waved his hand, "No time, no energy, perseverance. No, I don't think it's possible when I think about five classes a week."
It is obviously a good thing, but we have imagined countless obstacles before we start to do it, and despite all the objective factors, how can we adjust ourselves mentally?
Guo Suwan, chief physician of the Medical Psychology Department of Nanjing Brain Hospital, told reporters that the so-called "every beginning is difficult" mentality is actually quite natural. There will be a sense of fear in the land, "Can I do it, whether I can do it, can I accept it, what can I do... These are the thoughts that naturally arise when we face unknown things."
For things that they have not tried, things they have no experience with, people will naturally make a preset assumption in their minds, and in the process, they will preset "if you do this yourself, you may encounter What is the problem, how can I solve the problem", "Although things have not started, but I have preset a lot of difficulties for myself, if you think too much, it will be even more difficult to start."
Fitness and reading are the same. Before you start exercising or starting a reading program, you don't need to blame yourself if you have the fear of doubting whether you can do it. It is not without the "difficulty" that you want to overcome the "difficulty at the beginning of everything". As a little trick, Guo Suwan gave three very practical suggestions: "First, give yourself a little encouragement; second, break your preconceived ideas; third, allow yourself to fail."
Take insisting on fitness as an example, give yourself some psychological hints, and tell yourself that you can definitely keep exercising every day for a month this time. This self-encouragement can help you make up your mind to start a fitness schedule; It’s hard” such a preconceived notion; the third little suggestion actually gives us a “fallback”: “Some things we have to accept that we have the possibility of failure, remain curious, and have the courage to try, but don’t force ourselves too tight."
Not all persistence makes sense
In fact, there is no need to force yourself to complete one thing. In the live broadcast of the hottest fitness anchor Liu Genghong, when it comes to "persistence", he said: "Blind persistence may only bring more pain. , we have to enjoy the process of hard work." This view also resonated with many netizens.
When various "chicken soups for the soul" on the Internet expressed the view that "as long as you persist, you will succeed, only persistence is meaningful", experts also gave a different view, "As for persistence, we should actually look at it separately. "
Guo Suwan divides "persistence" into two situations, one is "effective persistence" and the other is "ineffective persistence".
"When we do something, it's a bit difficult, but like the fruit on the tree, if I jump and stretch out my hand, I can still get it. In this case, persistence is effective. , it makes sense. But there is another situation where this matter is obviously beyond the scope of personal ability, this fruit is too high, and it is out of reach. At this time, we have to insist on reaching it. Then we say that this is a bit of a nosebleed. At this time Persistence is ineffective, a waste of time, and may cause us more pain."
Accepting one's own imperfections and accepting one's own failures is also a valuable ability. Just as Zhuangzi said: "Knowing that poverty has destiny, knowing that there is a time to be informed, and facing great difficulties without fear, is the courage of a saint." However, Guo Su Anhui also said that if you don't insist on doing it, it is difficult to judge how far you can achieve it. "In life, there will always be times when you are at the top of the pile. When it becomes harder and harder to walk, you can turn around in time. It's not too late."
Serious procrastination?
Finding the cause is the key
Some people’s problem with doing things is that they go to the horns of the bull’s horns, they don’t hit the south wall and don’t look back, and some people’s problem is serious procrastination. In "Tomorrow After Tomorrow", when things are going to be on fire, I am still procrastinating, but I am too anxious. It is clear that the deadline for this work is coming soon, but I am still nervously playing with my mobile phone.
Regarding this kind of procrastination mentality, Guo Suwan believes: "Procrastination itself is not a problem, the key lies in our attitude towards procrastination." Experts also gave some small methods to deal with procrastination.
When procrastination occurs, first ask yourself why you are procrastinating, it is very important to find the cause, "Sometimes we don't want to do a thing, it may be because we are too tired today, it is difficult to concentrate, or because the task is very difficult We are not fully prepared yet. We need to know why in the first place, so that we can find the crux of the problem, and then we can better deal with this matter.”
Procrastination is sometimes our way of avoiding pain and self-relaxation. When things are delayed and unavoidable, we need to correct our attitude towards procrastination. "First of all, don't blame yourself too much, don't let yourself get caught up in it. It is impossible to extricate oneself from the emotion of self-blame. If you say that something cannot be done today and postpone it until tomorrow, first of all, figure out why you can’t do it today, and how you can do it better tomorrow, so as to relieve your inner guilt and let yourself relax. , maybe do better.”