Ana Lombardía, psychologist and sexologist: "Yes, men also fake orgasms sometimes"

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Despite her youth, Ana Lombardía, a health psychologist and

has had enough time to detect in consultation

that men continue to drag

and that end up generating concerns and dissatisfaction.

She talks about obsessive thoughts,

or difficulties reaching orgasm, among many other things.

She is convinced that everything she hears in therapy is the same thing that is happening in

and in the same way, although they are in the habit of keeping it quiet.

It is the reason that has led him to write

The idea arose when realizing how little is said about

and their desire.

"Almost everything is taken for granted. There is an idea of ​​what a

a good lover, always willing, put up with a lot... - and this can put enormous pressure. So when they are the ones

they usually feel weird and embarrassed," he says.

Society has established norms about what is or is not normal, preventing us from assessing, individually and personally, if

for oneself.

A sexuality away from patterns

Lombardy attributes most of the dissatisfaction to the

"We reproduce patterns, when sexuality really has to do with

at the time you want, listening to your body and that of your partner, regardless of

or the orgasms achieved."

In the pages of his book it is clear that we are witnessing a

that allows him to be fragile, admit insecurities and free himself from the burden of power and dominance in

that has so negatively conditioned him.

The vulnerable man and the powerful woman

Now, how do the man who claims his

and the woman who has taken

"It is part -replies the author- of a cultural and social process that includes getting rid of fears and the first step is to leave behind the hesitation to speak. They often come to the consultation almost dragged, with little willingness to tell what is happening to them Once they express their difficulties, their lack of appetite or the fear of being replaced by a sex toy,

We will move forward when both women and men understand that

for example, is absolutely

or that very different issues are involved in sexuality, such as habits, our philosophy of life or even the work context.

Otherwise, Lombardy will continue observing cases like Francisco's, one of her patients who gets around the pressure

"Yes, men also fake orgasms sometimes," he clarifies. "They do it for the same reason as women: so that the couple

and thinks that everything is going well. Even to

of the other person. To Francisco it seemed the perfect solution to set up a small theater in the style of

Goodbye porn, hello real world

The woman is also not

exempt from shame and imposed standards: from physical attractiveness to her sexual arousal or skills as a lover.

"All this means that we must break with those closed models, more

and fiction, to make way for

natural and free sexuality, without disputes over space."

In her opinion, women have made great strides in recovering their own sexuality.

The challenge now lies with the heterosexual man and Lombardía clarifies the reason: "The way of expressing their eroticism is going to affect women, both in stable relationships and in their casual encounters, but also

and any other orientation because, at the moment, it is the prevailing and most visible model. Therefore, it can serve as a reference to achieve

Although he is taking the right direction, the

needs to climb one more step in that healthy and pleasurable sexuality,

and less obfuscated in goals.

"He will do it," Lombardía concludes, "when he understands what factors affect sexual response, what causes hinder orgasm,

and how it varies according to time and circumstances and, above all, when he puts aside the film script".

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