Natalia de Molina: "It is very masculine to understand power as a manipulation of the other"

• Confession Natalia de Molina reveals her harsh childhood: "I come from pain, from the loneliness of a girl who was hated at school"

It has just turned ten years of cinema and, judging by the awards and the number of films, it would be said that it is ten centuries.

Willing to start from scratch with each project,

is right now, like Pirandello's character, one, none and a hundred thousand.

in Malaga , he

has just released '

', a debut feature by

that is as unstable and risky as it is mature, exhausting and very cloudy.

In her own way, the nature of this latest unusual and extreme project between comedy, tragedy, animation and chaos defines her not only as an actress but as an unrepentant curious, not impertinent.

What is an actress doing with two Goyas in a first film like this? She had never received a project like this, so kamikaze.

It's such a crazy movie that it's hard to say no.

I love working with new directors and getting involved with new perspectives.

Also, if the fact of being there has helped make the project possible... well, even better.

It's a way, if you will, of returning the favor.

They counted on me when no one knew me, well, what less than doing the same with others. As in previous films, I think of '

' or the recent

, her character also works as a denunciation against machismo and against the objectification of women... She is part of me.

All of these are issues that move and move me.

I try to approach characters who consider what it means to be a woman;

that carry with them a complaint or a reflection.

I am a woman and these are things that concern me.

I am a feminist because that is how I have lived my whole life.

I try to be honest with myself, despite how difficult it is sometimes to achieve it.

In the specific case of this film, my character serves to teach what a toxic relationship consists of in which the worse the woman is and the more vulnerable she feels, the better a certain type of man is.

There is something very masculine in understanding power as a manipulation of the other.

opens when a '

' boasts of a '

' to flirt that basically consists of abusing a woman... Yes, it's incredible.

The most violent moment in the film for me is when one of the male characters reproaches the other for drugging the girl, that she is a drug addict.

And he replies that he is taking drugs on her own.

It is terrifying to hear this and more with everything that is happening right now.

I think we are not aware and perhaps that is why cinema has to have a certain commitment to show certain mirrors that are difficult to look at. Do you think cinema is so influential?

Do you think that cinema can change something? I can only speak for myself.

It has changed me.

I imagine that the value of culture is that: teaching and posing problems that perhaps you had not even contemplated. On the other hand,

Matters that seemed indisputable, such as legislation against sexist violence, are now being discussed in a regional Parliament.

It gives the impression that change, with or without cinema, is backwards. It is easier to deny a reality than to accept it.

In matters as painful as this, the most complicated thing is to accept their existence.

In order to survive, we tend to deny what we don't like about ourselves and no one likes to admit that there is intrinsic violence in the society they live in.

That reaction movement against has a lot to do with this.

But well, and although it sounds naive, I imagine that neither I nor the cinema can act as if nothing were happening. It is the first time in the cinema that she plays a drug addict... Yes, and it has been complicated, quite a challenge.

It's very easy to go overboard. She, her character,

like the protagonist himself, played by Eneko Sagardoy, they are two sick people who refuse to acknowledge their illness... The debate that has opened up about mental illness seems basic to me, it seems basic to me that the subject is talked about openly.

To try to fix things you have to talk.

Silence, and I don't want to get heavy, is closely linked to patriarchy.

It sounds pompous, but you have to talk about things to create a more empathetic society.

The actors Eneko Sagardo and Natalia de Molina with the director José Corral Llorente at the presentation of 'Counting Sheep'. Victor CasadoEFE

Do you think we live in a society that is increasingly prone to all kinds of addictions? It is the system in which we live.

The world doesn't care if there are happy people who suddenly discover that they don't need to consume obsessively.

The mechanism of capitalism is essentially based on addiction.

What happens is that some addictions are legal and others are not... Do you consider yourself addicted to something? Yes, to many things.

But if I have to mention an obvious addiction... video games.

I'm not proud of it, but it's like that. Recently, at the last festival in Malaga, he talked about the need to take a break.

Do you feel like you've lived through a decade too fast? Yes, I feel like time has gone by too fast.

Never, not even in my wildest dreams, would I have imagined all this.

And that I see myself in this profession as a newcomer.

The comment about the respite was for my last two projects that have left me exhausted.

It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

But the idea is to stop, gather strength and... move forward. How much does receiving two Goya awards so soon, in 2013 and 2015, weigh in a race? I don't think about it.

It only comes out in interviews.

But yeah, it's a bit creepy.

I'm not very used to good things happening to me and therefore I tend to distrust good fortune.

It is so difficult to work from this, and so difficult for you to do well, that you always have the feeling of living in a dream from which you can wake up at any moment.

How much does it weigh in a career to receive two Goya awards so soon, in 2013 and 2015? I don't think about it.

It only comes out in interviews.

But yeah, it's a bit creepy.

I'm not very used to good things happening to me and therefore I tend to distrust good fortune.

It is so difficult to work from this, and so difficult for you to do well, that you always have the feeling of living in a dream from which you can wake up at any moment.

How much does it weigh in a career to receive two Goya awards so soon, in 2013 and 2015? I don't think about it.

It only comes out in interviews.

But yeah, it's a bit creepy.

I'm not very used to good things happening to me and therefore I tend to distrust good fortune.

It is so difficult to work from this, and so difficult for you to do well, that you always have the feeling of living in a dream from which you can wake up at any moment.

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