GNTM column: Naked in the chronometer with clockwork orange peel

This week, Heidi Klum opens her "Telekolleg: Catwalk" more euphoric than a drunk Eintracht Frankfurt fan in the guest gallery at Camp Nou, namely boisterously singing and dancing.

The text-safe karaoke excursion "Who turned the clock" reveals: It is no coincidence that Klum's voice for the title song "Chai Tea with Heidi" was changed more often than Mats Hummels' relationship status.

The otherwise guaranteed song-free Butterfahrt ins Modelglück starts in calendar week 15 countercyclically.

While Anita, the catwalk icon from the fashion metropolis Neustadt an der Donau, is still dreaming in the model shuttle that it's finally time for the male shoot, Heidi Klum has already reached deep into the surprise box.

The walk, which traditionally takes place at the end of each week, is already being completed by her catwalk trainees as an intro.

In principle, the only thing that would have been more surprising was if ProSieben had Alexander Klaws dressed as Jesus play the Passion of Christ at a French fries stand in Essen.

Surrounded by his female disciples Juliana, Lena, Lieselotte, Martina, Luca, Amaya, Vanessa, Lou-Anne, Sophie, Vivien and Leni Klum.

So much diversity seems to be too much.

In addition, the only Jesus in Klum's life is Tom Kaulitz.

Vanessa, Lou Anne, Sophie, Vivien and Leni Klum.

So much diversity seems to be too much.

In addition, the only Jesus in Klum's life is Tom Kaulitz.

Vanessa, Lou Anne, Sophie, Vivien and Leni Klum.

So much diversity seems to be too much.

In addition, the only Jesus in Klum's life is Tom Kaulitz.

It Musk Have Been Loved

The guest judge today is the 70-year-old model Maye Musk, the grandmother of "X AE A-XII".

Most girls are irritated.

As star guests they had expected GNTM inventory like Toni Garrn or Alessandra Ambrosio, or at least Wolfgang Joop.

Hardly anyone knows Maye Musk.

Even Sophie can't freak out and announce that meeting Maye Musk would make one of her biggest dreams come true.

Only Martina is Elon Musk's mother known.

She comes out as a fan girl and claims to have already read her book.

Now, before the comment columns are abused in anger: Yes, models can write.

Even Heidi Klum, the patient zero of top model formats, has already written a bestseller.

It's called "Naturally successful" because Klum is, well, very natural and definitely successful.

Doesn't matter.

Back to the wild model life.

Musk instructs the students at the Klum model school, who are moderately enthusiastic about it, that today they would walk down the catwalk as optical twins.

So also physically, namely stapled together on hair or outfits.

This requires teamwork, trust and synchronicity.

The original plan was to have Cathy Hummels and Céline Bethmann present the Twin Walk as surprise guests.

Due to current events, however, this idea was rejected at short notice.

Of course, completely at random, ProSieben's couples representative put together teams of two for this walk in doubles from exactly the girls who least get along with each other.

Vivian and Noëlla, for example, share an intimacy that Sylvie Meis and Sabia Boulahrouz are blood sisters against.

With Lieselotte and Sophie, too, the level of enthusiasm is just below participation in "Naked Attraction".

Best ager Lieselotte crowns the double appearance with the statement: "We are now forced to marry or like Siamese twins".

Cancel Culture Grand Slam for Lieselotte: She manages to make racist statements in just one sentence and at the same time discriminate against and marginalize people with disabilities.

Who Marc Cain Fashion?

Luckily, Klum is in an advisory mood and covers up this unspeakable moment with a rich repertoire of insider tips like this: "The face must always be a model".

A correct note.

If, for example, only the foot is a model, that is rarely enough for a world career.

For Luca, Martina, Sophie, Juliana and Amaya, however, it's enough for Marc Cain at least.

The fashion label from Bodelshausen invites the quintet to a casting for their runway show at Fashion Week.

Bodelshausen is considered the Paris of high-quality knitwear, which is why even Sophie's unbridled rush of happiness is immediately thwarted by a budget-relevant self-assessment: "I don't know if I have this expansive look".

A review that doesn't go wrong.

Who, like me, had the joy