What do we do with anger: control it or let it flow?

It's one of the worst-press

, and not since yesterday afternoon, no.

As

tells in her splendid 'Atlas of human emotions' -a basic, far beyond psychology, to better understand you (Blackie Books)-, and the Roman philosopher

(Córdoba, 4 a. C. - Rome, 65 AD) dedicated a book to him, 'Of anger', where he analyzed this feeling that he considered "the 'most frightening and frantic emotion of all', a

during which we are closest to the

than of the civilized person.’ He thought, like Aristotle before him, that it was the result of feeling

or

especially from someone who wasn't fit to do it.

For the clinical psychologist

author, among many other volumes, of

(La Esfera de los Libros), "the

is related to our

powerful

provocation

to what a part of us may consider

etc. A long etcetera, as long as people exist, since the value of that anger is influenced by

experienced, regulated factors, etc. A mixture in sometimes very powerful, that intercedes for us and that can also bring us important problems".

The story of anger

Looking back, Tiffany Watt Smith also tells us how anger has been viewed

How in the 13th century the alchemist

defended "that getting angry frequently could delay the aging process" or how in the early 20th century the idea of

and expressing anger in a healthy way" flourished.

From

he spread the belief that, since repressed emotions could have negative consequences for physical health, it is better to release anger, for example, through a thing called

In the 1960s, the idea that anger could make patients

with their

"freed them from addictions or madness that had become their refuges" triumphed.

Today, says Tiffany Watt Smith, psychotherapists are more interested in finding the cause of anger than in 'releasing' it.

"The question now is not whether we should express anger to stay healthy, but rather what other emotions our anger - whether it's grumpy rage or quiet seething rage - keeps in check."

In his recent 'Philosophy for a unique life',

also addresses the subject of anger, examines everything that philosophers have written about it and comes to the following conclusion on how to approach anger beyond control, from elimination or the positive acceptance of that emotion: "Most likely, you have to learn to live with moments of anger; philosophers have not been able to develop a convincing recipe to completely defeat anger either. When it comes, there is no choice but to let it calm down without causing too much havoc. Afterward, you can learn to know yourself better by examining your anger. There is something you want, but are being prevented from achieving."

And he adds at the end of his chapter dedicated to this sentiment: "

If the right question can be asked, then it can function as a good adviser.

What is the positive desire that hides this emotion?

Once we figure that out, maybe we'll know better what to do."

Anger: manual of use and disconnection

What does current psychology say on the subject?

We asked Ángel Peralbo, from the outset,

should we keep it to ourselves, release it or turn it into something else?

"That we do not choose our emotions or when they should appear, or their intensity, does not mean that we should not know ourselves well enough to

From there we will discover what meaning those emotions have for us and we will be able to make decisions in relation to what provokes us", he says online with Kamphuis.

And he adds:

if by control we mean that it does not appear as other emotions. Anger

if by that we understand that you do not have your space to express yourself.

Anger

if it means allowing our most animal part to have a social place.

Anger

like any other emotion

order to feel fully fulfilled personally and socially.

Without good management we will not go beyond social precariousness.

Evolution does not mean inhibiting it or rejecting it or denying it, but channeling it, training the passage from an emotion to an adaptive action".

And how to act if suddenly the feeling comes?

We ask Ángel Peralbo to help us with this matter.

What do we do with anger, how do we 'master' it?

1. "Accepting even the first internal signals.

The opposite allows it to grow without realizing it."

Indeed, one of the main problems with anger is that it appears unexpectedly and 'surpasses' us, that is, it gets ahead of our will and 'acts' on its own, often with dire consequences for everyone.

Is it possible to really see it coming and redirect it?

Yes it is, explains the expert.

"It is possible and absolutely necessary to

this physiological

which plays a crucial role in the course from when anger starts to reach that point of no return, that is, that moment that is difficult or almost impossible to handle.

Although it seems that anger goes from 0 to 100 in an instant,

that we have to responsibly learn to detect.

The sooner we identify internal activation signals, the sooner we can channel the response, neutralizing the arousal, relaxing our autonomic nervous system, removing ourselves from the situation for a moment if we are in danger, etc.

Anything but feed the monster we can become."

2. "Understanding that it is neither anyone nor anything external to us that produces it.

We are ourselves, therefore we do not hold others responsible for our anger."

3. "Implementing emotional self-regulation strategies.

Never before has access to mental relaxation techniques been so much easier, there are them for all tastes, from the most therapeutic such as diaphragmatic breathing, Jacobson's progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness , meditative, etc. All of them allow us to develop the skill and ability to deactivate our physiological activation, precisely that which mobilizes all our internal energy and gives fiery and powerful anger".

And finally, is the classic "count to 10 before..." that we have heard recommended so many times useful?

"Anything that delays the response under the umbrella of anger will allow us to modulate the impact of what we do, therefore we will be able to be masters of our response," says Peralbo.

Breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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