The screaming is perhaps the worst.

Not because it would be particularly loud.

Especially newborns don't have any strength in their voice.

But the crying of an infant is heartbreaking, piercing and unnerving in such a way that a human being can't help but want to stop it as soon as possible.

It was not without reason that evolution programmed it that way.

So you're sitting in the cinema or in front of the screen at home and the baby in "Cinco lobitos" (English: "Lullaby") cries and cries and cries - and because it's a film, there's nothing you can do about it.

Julia Schaaf

Editor in the "Life" department of the Frankfurter Allgemeine Sunday newspaper.

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Question: Why are you doing this?

Counter-question: Isn't it the same with having children?

Why are you actually doing this?

Ironically, a small Spanish indie film that was shown at the Berlinale and has not yet found a German distributor shows us the challenges of young parenthood in a way that is seldom seen.

A young mother caught between being overwhelmed and devoted

The pain when feeding the newborn because the nipples are still far too sensitive for the constant stress of breastfeeding.

The total exhaustion when the child wants to be carried through the apartment all night long because otherwise it just screams and screams and screams.

An unprecedented panic, combined with desperation and feelings of guilt, if you weren't paying attention once and the child fell off the sofa.

This young mother, an emotional wreck between being overwhelmed and devotion, is now being played by Laia Costa, of all people, an actress who, at least in Germany, is associated with a completely different image of women and a completely different phase of life.

The wide-eyed Spaniard with the high chubby cheeks was Victoria in the film of the same name by Sebastian Schipper, which rocked the Berlinale in 2015: a pull from a film shot without editing, a single Berlin night, young people meeting in a club and drinking beer drinking from the roof of a house - only those who are completely unbound and free can let themselves drift like this.

Anyone who compares these two films, these two

role models

and life plans inevitably thinks: No wonder that women and men around 30 today are torturing themselves with the question of whether they want children or would rather keep their beautiful life.

So Ms. Costa: is it really that awful to become a mother?

The 37-year-old sits in a hotel restaurant on Potsdamer Platz.

Seven years after her success with "Victoria," the actress is back in the city that celebrated her as a star.

Laia Costa is hardly recognizable: mom jeans and comfortable shoes, glasses and a sweeping white collar, she wears her long hair tied back from her forehead.

Her look is pragmatic, almost a bit strict.

And where the hell are those nice Laia Costa chubby cheeks?

If you could have actually guessed: many young mothers become narrow in the face through breastfeeding.

The fullness of youth, the last remnant of childlikeness - a baby visibly sucks women dry.

"There is a world that deserves to be shown as raw and real as it is"

"It's not terrible," Costa replies.

"But we're not being honest about it either.

Especially on social media: when you're a first-time mom, you see these perfect moms with makeup and combed hair everywhere.

I struggled my first year as a mom just not to be completely drained and exhausted at the end of the day.

As such, I think there's a world that's not talked about much that deserves to be shown as raw and real as it is."