Welcome to the big ProSieben Walk World Cup.
17 candidates are still in the running, two of which Heidi Klum will send home today.
From 40 down to 15 in just eight weeks, you only know that from the CDU's federal election campaign.
Klum, the Angela Merkel of private television, starts her selection process this week with an assessment center for Instagram stories.
The aspiring models have to promote an invented product in 45-second clips and write their own texts for it.
A task as realistic as Donatella Versace's lips.
Marketing luminary Klum explains: "Good marketing in social media is more important than ever today".
So more important than, for example, 2006, when Lena Gercke won the first season of Germany's next top model.
So while all the model aspirants are busy writing copy, Lou-Anne assures her mom, Martina, that there's some fun in it too.
Breathe a sigh of relief in the feuilleton: Dieter Nuhr doesn't have to.
Incidentally, a sleep-to-go pillow, a smile trainer and a toilet roll cap are advertised.
What you find funny at ProSieben.
An atmosphere like carnival at Ballermann, just without the sangria bucket.
And everyone stays dressed.
The handbrakes too, because very few turn out to be talented gag writers.
Only the application efforts for the pillow bring a few interesting sentences to light.
For example the classic: “You can also do it standing up”.
Ferkelei at GNTM – and that before 9 p.m.
Lieselotte is one of the few winners of this challenge, which is based 1:1 on real model life.
She has Thomas Gottschalk's speech torrent gene on valerian.
She talks non-stop, but at the speed of an anesthetized turtle.
So she can't get her entire smiley portfolio down in 45 seconds: "I had even more jokes in my pocket".
Right next to her favorite book, the grammar tutorial "Heidi Klum had reinvented the pluperfect".
Three products for a hallelujah
The grin trainer provided the most laughs, unfortunately mostly involuntarily.
This is not a pushy single man who constantly recommends “Have a laugh” to the models in toxic flirting mode, but a piece of colorful plastic that you put in your mouth to push the corners of your mouth up.
When you use it, you look a bit like someone who accidentally got drunk and put their splint on edge.
Every time a candidate uses the grin trainer, an oral surgeon somewhere quits his job.
A challenge especially for the perfectionist Anita: "I notice that my tongue is already overturning".
And every successful model knows: If even your tongue rolls over you - not good at all.
It's actually only worse when your head is talking around your collar.
Anita is correspondingly dissatisfied: "I held the thing up to the camera like a victim".
Sentences that you would otherwise only hear at an exhibitionist congress.
Talking is silver, but silence isn't an option either
In order to extend this victim feeling to the rest of the squad, Klum then calls for social media interview training.
Traditionally, well, journalists dig through the candidates' Instagram channels and then try to lure them out of their reserves with compromising images.
After a few attempts with various “Taff” moderators that degenerated into bullying, tour guide Klum sent the Sat.1 journalism hope Claudia von Brauchitsch into the race this year.
A good choice, because von Brauchitsch has experience with interview partners who urgently want to win a TV casting.
After all, she moderated the “Triell” in the last federal election campaign.
Annalena Baerbock seems to have impressed her the most there, because von Brauchitsch is wearing green today.
The color of hope.
Just not for gender, because that is not an option for von Brauchitsch.
So she stands in front of 17 women and says: "If I ask a question to one or the other, everyone can answer".
Juliana looks as if she were thinking: "No, not the Brauchitsch now".Keywords: