“Worse than a mower”… When the snoring of the other drives you crazy

• Sleep disorders, many French women and men suffer from it.

  But for some, it is the snoring of the bed partner that is the cause.

• Over time, chronic insomnia can set in, affecting mood, ability to concentrate, and even health.

• On the occasion of International Sleep Day this Friday,

  20 Minutes

  gives the floor to those whose nights are interrupted by snoring.

Noise pollution that drives crazy.

A noise which oscillates between the tractor, the locomotive and the mower, which pierces the skull and increases the tension.

If you experience it almost every night, you know what we're talking about: snoring.

Or rather snoring!

Whether they are continuous, intermittent or even produced with variations in intensity and sound, they have the same effect: stopping the sleep of the poor souls who share the bed of a snorer.

Snorer or snorer who, during this time, sleeps soundly and often does not consider it necessary to consult.

On the occasion this Friday of International Sleep Day,

 explores this subject that is too little discussed although it concerns many people: sleep disorders caused by the snoring of his or her bed partner.

Because between stress, fatigue or even insomnia, snoring is not anecdotal for those who experience it.

“It snores at over 90 decibels, louder than a running lawn mower!

»

Sabrina, 40, has long had her eardrums assaulted by the snoring of her husband, who was not aware of it.

“At first he thought I was adding to it, but recently I took him to see a pulmonologist who diagnosed him with sleep apnea.

He took tests that revealed he snored at over 90 decibels, louder than a running lawnmower, or a restless class of 30 students.”

Diane, 34, "married to a snorer for five years, [has] had to have custom-made earplugs made to try to find sleep despite her snoring" which whirls "on average at 84 dB".

“Sleep apnea is a common cause of snoring, and it is important to consult to diagnose and treat it, says Dr. Philippe Beaulieu, a physician specializing in insomnia and cognitive-behavioral therapist at the Center for diagnosis and treatment sleeping sicknesses at the CHU Henri Mondor in Créteil.

But not all snorers are affected.

"It's exhausting morally and physically"

And "for their partner, sleep can be disturbed by this noise pollution which causes the mobilization of one of our senses to persist, and prevents alertness from decreasing, and therefore from falling asleep", explains Dr. Beaulieu.

Thus, Juliette, whose partner started snoring six months ago, “now dreads every night spent with him.

The apprehension at bedtime is the first consequence on my sleep, by generating stress which delays my falling asleep and creates a state of hypervigilance which makes me even more attentive to the slightest noise, describes the 22-year-old young woman.

When the snoring comes, a feeling of anger rises and I have an influx of thoughts like, "How long can I sleep?", "I'm going to be tired tomorrow", "I shouldn't have slept at his house ".

This infernal loop, Marie, 45, has been confronted with for fourteen years.

Result: “I am sleep deprived every night.

I've tried everything – even though I know it's not me who has the problem – to no avail.

I'm a little desperate because my health is suffering: I have little memory problems and mood swings during the day, and phases of insomnia every night.

I'm exhausted ".

Same regime for Stéphanie, 47, “woken up every night every 2 hours by this infernal noise, seized with a furious desire to suffocate [her] husband with the pillow so much it gets on the nerves.

I spend my nights nudging him.

It's a daily nightmare, it's morally and physically exhausting”.

A source of “chronic insomnia”

For the somnologist, “it's a whole vicious circle that sets in.

First fatigue, because we do not recharge the batteries sufficiently.

Anxiety and depressive disorders can quickly appear.

A few nights of bad sleep are enough and we feel it, we have less morale.

However, it is during the night phase that physical, but also psychological and emotional recovery takes place, describes the specialist.

Quality sleep is used to integrate emotions, consolidate memory and learning.

And from the moment sleep is prevented, its functions are less well fulfilled.

This results in anxiety that is less well managed, greater irritability.

And cognitive performance is affected: memory lapses, difficulty concentrating”.

Thus, Guillemette, 43, is "so exhausted that sometimes,

A pattern that can lead “to a diagnosis of insomnia, warns Dr. Beaulieu.

Which can become chronic when, beyond what creates it – here the noise –, we understand what causes it.

This is where performance anxiety sets in: the more you fear not being able to fall asleep, the more you risk not being able to do so, because you are increasing your level of vigilance.

What harms health: poor sleep is a risk factor for hypertension, cardiovascular disorders, stroke, metabolic diseases such as type 2 diabetes or even overweight, ”lists the somnologist.

“He does not want to consult”

However, on the side of snorers, we often do not see the problem.

"When I bring up the subject, my husband thinks I'm exaggerating," laments Jocelyne, 68.

He stubbornly refuses to consult an ENT.

Ditto for Jérôme, 46, who urges his snoring companion to consult, without success.

“His father, champion in all categories of snoring, was fitted with a device to prevent sleep apnea.

But she refuses to go see a doctor, fearing that he will prescribe a similar device, or even a surgical operation”.

Frequently, “there is a form of denial on the part of the snorer, a social apprehension to consult.

It's a mistake: sleep apnea can be dangerous to your health, underlines Dr. Beaulieu.

In addition, it is worth consulting an ENT to see if there is an organic cause: too big tonsils or too long a soft palate, problems for which a solution can sometimes – but not always – be found”.

“I spoke to my doctor about it, who told me to go to a separate room”

Failing to have convinced her husband, of whom she "has suffered snoring for thirty-six years", Patricia, 58, "lives in hell".

“I spoke to my doctor about it, who told me to go to a separate room”.

But this prescription divides the couple.

Thus, Jérôme, not a fan of "lonely sleep", does not sleep better when his wife migrates on the sofa.

Same for Pierre, 61 years old: “I could sleep in another room than my snoring wife, but I refuse to do so, because it kills love that is often irreversible”.

“It has a pejorative connotation, observes Dr. Beaulieu.

But in practice, what can be harmful is when one snores and the other gets bogged down in insomnia.

Staying in anger is much more of a love killer than deciding in a peaceful way to have a separate room when snoring resists all support.

If it is freely consented, that we know how to keep our complicity and our sexual life, it can be very fulfilling”.

Moreover, Nathalie, 50, has thus chosen to preserve her sleep and her couple.

“We came to hate each other, me by his snoring, him by my nudging.

For four years, the problem has been solved: we have a separate room.

Who says we have to sleep together?

We are madly in love, happy.

And now, we spend peaceful nights.

Health

Nocturnal awakenings: How to get rid of them and regain quality sleep

Health

Sleep disorders: How to finally get to sleep without medication

• Sleep

• Stress

• Tired

• Health

• well-being

• 0 comment

• 0 share

  • Share on Messenger

  • Share on Facebook

  • Share on Twitter

  • Share on Flipboard

  • Share on Pinterest

  • Share on Linkedin

  • Send by Mail

• To safeguard

• A fault ?

• To print