Sweetheart stories: do we cuddle or do we spoon?

We may be witnessing a power shift.

Unfortunately not in Russia, but in the German rainbow country, whose uncrowned queen was Helene Fischer for years.

Which the crown didn't want at all and was nevertheless covered week after week by the gossip papers with countless title stories that were either completely empty of content or mostly lies.

Jorg Thomann

Editor in the “Life” section of the Frankfurter Allgemeine Sunday newspaper.

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Most recently, the regent made it increasingly difficult for the court reporters: for months she has denied them a look at the newborn child, pushed them one reply after the next and went to court against a man who, as

put it, “before his retirement earned his money by making people like the 'Schlagerqueen' even more famous through photos".

Who could blame the hearts that, so hurt, they are looking for a milder heir to the throne?

The candidate for this, it may come as a surprise to some, is none other than Angela Merkel.

The tabloids know as little about their private lives as they do about Fischer's, but Merkel doesn't care what people write.

Since she left power, the number of Merkel cover stories has increased significantly, which could also have something to do with the fact that her identification potential has grown: she is now, like the majority of the readers of these issues, retired.

And so it fits into the picture that the former chancellor recently had her purse stolen from her bag hanging on the shopping trolley in a Berlin supermarket like a absent-minded grandmother.

I have no idea where the bodyguards had their eyes on, there might be interesting special offers.

In any case, as a result of the action, Merkel, although she has no more elections to win,

A nightmare!

It is logical that

one jumps on the story: "Great concern!

How tired is she?

Angela Merkel - dramatic incident in the middle of Berlin!

Didn't anyone notice anything?” she captions.

Of course you noticed something, Merkel is said to have filed a complaint herself at the police station.

"A terrible shock!

Did the emergency doctor have to come?” asks

and shows the picture of an ambulance marked with “symbolic photo”, and if we could also answer this question: Nope, of course not.

Contrary to her habit, we have to read, Merkel didn't shop in Berlin-Mitte, but "in the Charlottenburg district 15 minutes away", which we understand, after all, as a pensioner, she finally wants to see the world, but that took revenge.

"For years she felt safe.

It's gone in one fell swoop!

A nightmare!

Where was her husband Joachim Sauer, 72?”, the paper is outraged, and it has to be said harshly: Merkel had to make many trips to the trouble spots of the world without her husband;

so it is clear that he also avoids a highly dangerous place like Charlottenburg.

Not Italian enough

Florian Silbereisen and his jury colleagues from “DSDS” traveled to the tranquil Italian town of Cisternino.

However, the Cisterninos market place was not Italian enough for the producers for German television, which, as

knows, they remedied: “Dozens of helpers set up flower pots, stretched clotheslines between the old house facades and pushed a wonderfully kitschy ice cream truck into the scenery.” What if foreign TV crews wanted to present a German backdrop?

They would probably set up garden gnomes, beer benches and pinwheels everywhere and send a few German Shepherds across the square.

Crown Princess Mary and Duchess Kate, who Mary just visited in Denmark, come from different countries, but a related fashion style cannot be denied.

Norbert Loh, court reporter for the

, claims: "My colleague, the Danish court reporter Inga Jensen, whispered in my ear: 'I think Mary and Kate are double the clothes.

.

.'

I had to laugh and could only agree with her!” We think that if you come up with such stupid puns, you should at least own up to them and not blame them on a Danish colleague who is also presumably just made up.

"Prominent separated" is the name of a program that brings together former lovers like Jenny Elvers and Alex Jolig, who, according to

, remembers the words: "It was desire at first sight.

.

.

Both sides." Jolig's current wife Britt quotes

as saying: "I even told Jenny that I would not be mad if the two were to cuddle or spoon, because I know Alex needs that." We had to read that twice to understand that it's not about mutual desire for a bowl of soup, but about the so-called spoonful.

We advise caution: If Jolig spoons around too much with his ex on TV, then he shouldn't be surprised if his wife picks up someone else in return.