This Monday is Valentine's Day.
On this occasion,
20 Minutes
offers you a series of articles on love in 2022. From the one who reeks of the scam on Tinder to the one who is rotten by the mobile phone, passing by the one who says with flowers “Uber”.
As Netflix
's Tinder Scammer
documentary gets people talking, we asked our readers to tell us about their bad experiences on dating sites.
On Zoosk, Lovoo, Tinder or Adopteunmec, financial scams are legion, and have led some in long legal battles.
“A little
swipe
can change your life.
Cecilie, a Norwegian living in London, saw hers change in 2017 when she "matched" with Simon Leviev on the Tinder application.
220,000 euros less and a Netflix documentary later, the young woman revives the debate on scams on dating sites as Valentine's Day approaches.
And there are many users of these platforms: Nearly a quarter of French people who have found love since May 2021 have met it through a
dating
app , according to the latest Ifop survey.
“We spoke on Disonsdemain, we discussed the whole first confinement, says Lola *.
He had just come out of a messy divorce.
He told me that I was a wonderful woman.
» Until the day when… « after the death of his father, he was to inherit a million euros.
The sum was blocked in Africa, where the family business is located, she adds.
He leaves, he even sends me pictures of him there!
And there, he tells me that he is blocked and that he must pay the equivalent of 11,000 euros to the African tax authorities.
He asks me to send him 1,000, the amount he needed.
She won't send him the money and will immediately block him.
“I could not warn the site because from the start it refused to discuss on the platform, I should have been wary!
“, she confides.
“I became more stingy and more suspicious of strangers”
Lola was lucky not to fall into the trap set.
This is not the case for Bruno*, who signs up for Zoosk after a difficult breakup.
“In a few days, I meet a girl I like.
She is very insistent that I buy her a dress.
I make him a transfer of 100 euros, with all the same some doubts.
It was of course a "grazer" (a scammer operating on the Internet).
“I however had someone on the phone and even on webcam, he laments.
This scam had psychological consequences for me, I became more stingy and more suspicious with strangers.
»
“The victims often have a feeling of emotional emptiness and can be dependent on the other for fear of loneliness, specifies a psychiatrist from Essonne.
“There is therefore fertile ground for manipulators who, at first, appear benevolent, and will quickly pour into emotional blackmail to test the link with the victims.
They often wonder how they could have been so naive.
But in reality, beyond intelligence, these are psychological issues that impact self-representation and the link to others,” she explains.
“I closed my eyes because she sent me sweet words”
After several bad experiences, Mathieu* is now on the defensive: “I met a girl on Lovoo.
Very quickly, she wanted us to discuss by email rather than on the platform.
His messages were like scripted novels.
One day, her suitor told her that she was going to Ukraine to visit her daughter in the hospital.
She then asks him for 1,400 euros to pay off her debts.
Even if he expected it, Mathieu “falls from his cloud”.
“It's not the first time it's happened to me, I don't trust sites anymore if I can't verify the profile.
»
New to these platforms, Maxence* failed to see the warning signs.
“I registered on Badoo in 2014. I came across a fake profile from the start, he regrets.
This person was writing strangely, but I closed my eyes because she was sending me sweet nothings.
He insists on meeting her, despite lingering doubt.
She told him she lived in Montpellier, saw him in Angers.
They meet in Paris.
“Before boarding the train, I canceled.
I didn't feel it, he explains.
She asked me to come, but I had to send her a hundred euros for the train.
She was very insistent, I paid but then I blocked her account.
»
"You have to trust leading sites that have real moderation systems," says Florence Escaravage, founder of Love Intelligence.
There are two red flags for spotting scams: geography and inconsistencies in what he writes.
The diplomas, the job, the family situation, the location… There must be a link.
»
“My complaint and my money are forgotten”
A few years ago, Laurence* thought he would meet a man who had "succeeded" on Adopteunmec.
“He pretended to be a business manager who drove a Porsche.
After a while, he started telling me he had cash flow problems, she says.
I paid for his expenses to get him back on track.
She understands that he is lying to her, he lives on RSA and has scammed other victims.
She puts an end to this relationship, but he returns to the charge, apologizes and promises her "mountains and wonders".
Three years later, she is still in legal proceedings against him: “My complaint and my money are forgotten.
I have not repeated the experience of dating sites.
»
Aurélie*'s story could also have ended in court.
But in her misfortune, she was lucky: “I think he really loved me because I was the only one he paid back.
It was the scammer's son who contacted her to warn her.
“At that time I had already left him, but I fell from the clouds.
Another victim tells him that the man owes him 40,000 euros: "I understood that when he came to join me in Greece, it was with this person's money"...
*Names have been changed
Nantes
Nantes: Shy or disgusted with apps, these singles return to "old-fashioned flirting"
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