China News Service Client, Beijing, January 14 (Reporter Shangguan Yun) From "appearance anxiety" to native families, recently, some topics related to psychology have become the focus of attention.
In the hit drama "Female Psychologist", Xiao Mo's "pleasant personality" has caused widespread discussion.
A few days ago, Bi Shumin, a well-known writer and psychologist, said in an interview with a reporter from Chinanews.com that the only way to have a strong heart about "appearance anxiety" is to build a strong heart. "We must first accept ourselves comprehensively."
Coping with "Appearance Anxiety": Fully Accepting Yourself
Writer, psychologist, and physician, this is Bi Shumin's well-known triple identity.
She has worked as a physician for 20 years, and has written many popular works such as "Death by Appointment" and "Female Psychologist".
Writer Bi Shumin.
Photo courtesy of the interviewee
Becoming a psychologist is somewhat accidental.
In the early years, Bi Shumin had a friend who broke her lumbar vertebra. She was worried about her friend's loneliness, so she insisted on calling this person to chat every week. She accidentally learned that a well-known psychology professor was teaching students at Beijing Normal University.
After several setbacks, Bi Shumin was able to follow this professor to study the courses of master's and doctoral degrees in psychology.
After learning, she opened a clinic and dealt with all kinds of consultants every day, and she felt deeply about issues such as appearance anxiety and parent-child relationship.
"I once took a test in college: I said that if the girls present were dissatisfied with their appearance and felt inferior, please raise your hand." The result surprised Bi Shumin: almost everyone raised their hands, Including a lot of pretty girls.
One of them is a girl who never smiles because she thinks her teeth are not good.
However, no matter how perfect a person looks, they cannot be flawless.
Bi Shumin gave an example, "Let's not say anything else: Who can stand against time? Can you accept aging? There are many kinds of beauty. The best way is to give up anxiety about appearance."
"Just like nature, there are beautiful flowers, but do you see a grass with low self-esteem? There are also such tall pine trees, all of them are fighting for the sun. The appearance cannot be changed, we must fully accept ourselves and build a strong heart," she explained.
Talking about the trauma of the family of origin: you need to heal yourself consciously
Including "Female Psychologist", Bi Shumin has involved issues such as the original family and parent-child relationship in many of her works. "Some people use their childhood to heal their whole lives, and some people use their whole lives to heal their childhoods."
Writer Bi Shumin.
Photo courtesy of the interviewee
"From infants to adults, people are basically the first to know themselves from the eyes of others. We cannot choose in childhood, what kind of people our parents are, what material conditions are, etc., are very important for the formation of many basic concepts such as character. ."she says.
Growth is actually a complex and arduous process, and there is also the possibility of problems.
There can still be wounds in those well-cared-for children that require conscious healing on their own.
"Nowadays, some young people generally don't have a particularly clear understanding of this." Bi Shumin found that some people can understand the crux of the psychological problem and deal with it calmly; .
For example, some people hate their parents forcing marriage, but most of them adopt a quarrel and perfunctory solution, which is not necessary.
"Sometimes parents make plans for your life based on their life experience, which may not suit you, but it's not malicious."
She advises, "You can disobey them and then come up with a reasonable plan to prove that you put a lot of effort into reassuring them. Instead of thinking about changing your parents, try to change yourself. There are some pressures that adults should take on. of."
"Since I've been a psychologist, I've tried my best to help others, but the final effect depends on him." Bi Shumin believes that a person's behavior always has internal logic and unexpected explanations, and human nature is Rich and colorful.
Good psychological counseling has a certain curative effect, but it cannot cure the disease.
She feels that no matter what kind of psychological emotion it is, don't let it accumulate in the corner, but relieve it in time to make life more complete and happier.
Talking about "cross-border": the object of attention is always people
Someone once commented that Bi Shumin was a person who dared to step out of his comfort zone, from a physician to a psychologist to a writer. These three identities can definitely be regarded as "cross-border".
"Bi Shumin's Healing Book".
Photo courtesy of the publishing house
"Some people say that I have a wide range of careers, but I don't have such a clear feeling. Writers, doctors, and psychologists, although the forms of expression are different, the objects of attention are always people." Bi Shumin said, "I have been in my life all my life. do this thing."
Writers need to gain insight into human nature, describe the sentient beings and self they see, and communicate with others; psychologists pay attention to people's hearts; doctors treat diseases and save people, but the focus of attention has not changed.
Indeed, "why people live" and "how to be happy" are eternal topics in Bi Shumin's writings.
In "Bi Shumin's Soul Healing Book", "Happiness Lesson", "Spiritual Lesson" and "Growth Lesson" dig deeper into the truth of life from three perspectives of happiness, soul and growth.
In her works related to psychology, the protagonists of many stories are ordinary people. As for the reason, "ordinary people are curious to explore their inner world, but also confused. Once they find the problem, they will feel relaxed and become more powerful. , it's not easy to beat. It's important, and I hope my work can help with that." (End)