How to say no, the pending subject ... of almost everyone

It is so difficult that there is even a

, that of

, specialized in the matter: so and so does not grant interviews, menganita will not answer personal questions, little zutan does not want photos ... In fact, wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had

for us, even if it was paying him?

Because our

is that as soon as social desirability comes into play, the fear of rejection, the feeling of guilt ... saying it doesn't make us mess up ... And we get a yes.

Another proof of the enormous

we have to

no is the bibliography on the matter.

'Do not say yes when you want to say no', 'You can also say no', 'The courage to say no', 'Knowing how to say no', 'And when I say no it is that no', 'Practical notebook to not always say that yes', '50 exercises to know how to say no ',' The art of saying no ',' You know how to say no to your children ',' Learn to say no ',' Essay on the difficulty of saying no ',' Dare to Say no and boost your self-esteem '... My God, we are clearly in the

an

The psychologists

authors of best sellers such as

'Order your mind to order your life' (The Sphere of Books), they know a lot about this thorny and lavish matter.

But, apart from knowing ... do they know how to say no when they want to?

"Let's say that

much it is studied, because that would only be the

Only

and

the

of saying no and its possible consequences, and being aware of the damages that not doing it has, is how

and how we have done it, indeed yes, we always say no when we want to say no ".

Fear, your main enemy here too

Well, what envy. Why are the rest of us given the matter so badly? "In general terms, when it

for a

to something, it is because of

which will be different depending on the circumstances," explains the pair of experts. "For example, when someone is afraid to say no to a

even if it is not good for him to do so, it may be out of

with that person, or

It may also be because he wants to

that person, because of

in getting something from her, from

to

but this is still a

of not achieving what you want.

An example would be

or pleasing an employee so they don't go to the competition. "

Often times, our own no's surprise us first and anger us later.

How many times has it happened to you that at a request from another person you give a

that you later

deeply

?

If you had taken time to answer, you think, maybe your answer would have been different, the classic 'count to 10 before ...'.

Or not?

In fact, María Ibáñez and Jesús Jiménez explain, when someone

to meditate on their response it is, again,

"When someone gives a quick answer and does not reflect enough before accepting something of the that later regrets is because of his

although at the moment he is not aware of it. His

is

and these act

. It may be due to conflict with other people, fear of being upset, to break one's image, not to have the favor of that person ... ".

Why don't we rectify: "Where I said yes, I say no"

On the other hand, what

us

, when the time comes, after having given an unwanted yes, to

and say "I've thought better of it, I don't think so ..."? Again the

, "the same one that pushed us to say yes hastily and that now

and rectifying", say the experts, and they add: "Surely many of those who are reading us have experienced that situation in which they

having

for something they

and when they think about

don't dare, I either

or

for fear of looking bad ". And all when, psychologists explain," you can always change your mind and rectify it, in a respectful way and without justifying yourself, as long as you don't really harm the other person. "

How to dominate the person in you who always says yes

At this point it is inevitable to ask

against those

that

constantly

us

, 'forcing' us to accept things that we do not want in any way. Is there a

that can help us

when this is really the answer we want to give? "If it is understood that the

is

it can be easily understood that

as counting to five or giving an evasion

but will

explain María Ibáñez and Jesús Jiménez.

To

that to

and without secondary psychological effects, they add, "you have to learn to

The correct way is to

faithfully

approach the

of the problem reflecting and addressing the emotional part paying

feeling the

in the body and losing fear of them,

Nobody says that the above is an easy task (if it were, there would not be so much literature about it), but like almost everything in life, the solution begins with a first step, realizing that the problem exists, understanding it and taking the decision to fix it.

Then it will take a lot of practice.

and gets stronger the more you train.

The more times you say no more you will realize that the world does not collapse around you every time it does, but quite the opposite.

At a certain point, in addition, it will begin to

like any other success in your life (and this is not exactly a minor one):

What do we do with those who don't take no for an answer?

And one more thing: we always talk about people who can't say no, but we hardly ever talk about

who

They also have a problem, and not a small one, that they should solve, according to psychologists.

"Of course, those who do not accept one do not also have

to resolve, either the

to

the circumstances in some

or wanting to control

or for

of not achieving what they set out to do. with the consequences that they anticipate for it, "they explain.

The problem, they conclude, is that when faced with a person who does not accept no for an answer and finally gets away with pressuring another "there is a person who has not known how to be firm enough and has allowed himself to be convinced ... by some guy of fear, once again. "

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