It has been a difficult year.
The headliners of 2021 distinguished themselves by the fact that they were extremely short-sighted - and sometimes idiotic - in spicy situations, some of which are now documented in the form of daddies on the tables in the Investigative Committee.
Others are in the tablets of recent history.
Which, however, is now being written in social networks and after a couple of days it loses its relevance.
In our heading "Hallucinations of the Year", the leader of Ukraine is Volodymyr Zelenskyy.
For most of the year, the Ukrainian president thought that his country was about to be attacked by bloodthirsty Russians.
Like rabies - it is rabies - the virus was transmitted to the Western media and their own politicians.
At the end of the year, Zelensky weakened the level of paranoia - he said, they say, Russia is ready to attack always and for a long time, here is a cross for you, I go to bed every day with a dagger in my teeth and with a rifle across my bed, my wife is terribly indignant, but in fact the Russians just want to overthrow me ...
Zelenskiy spoke about this terrible secret - about the upcoming coup d'etat with the help of FSB - at his press conference in November.
It seemed that Volodymyr Oleksandrovich wanted to somewhat reduce the heat, because everyone began to write and talk about the Russian invasion and the next terrible days for, in general, the whole world.
While Zelensky mumbled something about a diplomatic solution just a couple of weeks later, the German Bild published a ready-made plan for our attack on Nezalezhnaya, in which Lviv was prudently named Lemberg.
Oops.
It was then that it became clear who needed our attack the most.
Danke shon, Wolodimir.
In the nomination "Morons, ***" - our domestic (although not very much, but they were all born in the former or still in the Soviet Union, and to carry this cross, fellow citizens, to us) stand-up adapters.
They burrowed, burrowed, hayali-hayali, whined-whined about how bad everything is in THIS country and what kind of Russian… bad ones got dirty.
Well, we got it.
One such exalted humorist from Around Laughter 2021 was kicked out of the country with an order not to appear here posthumously after a not very successful joke about a mattress.
The stand-up continued to whine, but from abroad.
I don't know what the others were doing, because interest in them dropped after several years of observation.
If the comrades who earn hundreds of thousands of dollars a year by joking so-so are all bad, then, firstly, they are not comrades, and secondly, there is no need to anger God, guys.
Better to joke about "me" and "jo" - in this "dirty" and such "terrible" country like ours (as you like to tell), this can still be done, unlike the shining hailstones on the hill.
The prestigious "Handsome of the Year" award goes to exotic Afghanistan, to the Taliban *.
After the Americans hurriedly flew out of Afghanistan, losing helicopters, ammunition and reputation on the fly, the Taliban conquered cities and social networks.
They danced incendiaryly, then rode boats, then on children's attractions.
And then, unexpectedly and irrevocably, the Taliban took and recognized the Crimea as Russian.
It took some of our good neighbors years, and these are hoba!
- and recognized.
In the "Landing of the Year" nomination, the unconditional winner is Roman Protasevich, unsuccessful - although, fig knows, maybe extremely successful - who went on vacation to Greece.
As you know, Greece has everything.
Including people in civilian clothes who, according to Roman's assurances, followed him at the airport when he was going to quietly and peacefully leave Athens for cozy Riga with his girlfriend.
Quite by accident, it was the plane in which Protasevich, one of the main priests of the odious telegram channel NEXTA, which spurred last year's protests in Belarus, was flying, turned out to be potentially mined.
The plane was politely escorted with the help of a Belarusian MiG-29 to the Minsk airport, where Roman and his girlfriend were taken off the board and escorted to the bullpen.
Immediately there was a howl in the Grimpen bog - Western media and politicians grieved over the sad fate of Protasevich, whom Lukashenka was about to personally quarter.
Wreaths and memorial posts and pictures "We remember, we grieve, sanctions" were already ready.
But the quartering did not take place, and quite a whole and even seemingly well-fed Roman Protasevich handed out interviews and press conferences in which he repented and denounced the Belarusian, sorry, opposition.
In the "Myopia of the Year" section, the absolute and irrevocable leader Valery Rashkin, a Communist Party deputy and the shame of Artemis, the goddess of the hunt, shines.
On a rainy autumn night, Comrade Rashkin went out not into the field with a horse, but into a dark forest with a rifle with an optical sight.
The sight must have been made by the imperialists and other counterparts.
Since Rashkin saw a wild boar in his sight, he fired and shot ... a moose.
The representative of the Communist Party of the Russian Federation did not have permission to hunt moose.
Only the already dismembered elk carcass was found in the trunk of the car.
"I was tricked!"
- the deputy cried out, and then released a video epic in the style of Prisvin, describing how everything actually happened that fateful night (director's version).
It was then that we learned that a large wild boar can sometimes be mistaken for an elk.
It depends on how much to take before, I guess.
The hit parade of the scandalous is completed by the winner in the nomination "Blurtin ', damn" bad fight of the Russian, sorry, rap Alisher Tagirovich Valeev, who is now Morgenstern.
With such a surname, I agree, tearing headlines, bitches and dinero is much more impressive.
Alisher burst into the year with a daring advertisement for a well-known bank in the best traditions of American rappers of the early 2000s.
Banknotes, dances on the table and sexy maidens.
However, in rap / hip-hop, these basic components have not changed for 30 years - stability, you know.
Why break what works?
Then Morgenstern constantly flashed in the news and telegram channels for some vague reasons, until he flashed before an interview with one of the politician's famous daughter.
In which he spoke about the celebration of Victory Day - not himself, of course, but at the suggestion of his interlocutor.
“I don’t understand at all this Victory Day, which took place 76 years ago,” Morgenstern wondered.
- From year to year, millions are spent on this, the date is widely celebrated, they are trying to prove something to everyone.
I don’t know, maybe these are some kind of clamps?
I do not understand!
Probably, there is simply nothing more to be proud of. "
A person who is proud of having “two pillows” on him has nothing to be proud of in this case.
Where is he with his dineros - and where are those 20 million killed in the war?
Fried came from the Investigative Committee, which decided to check Morgenstern for propaganda - believe me - drugs.
And all because of the song Pablo, in the video for which there are desperate attempts to cosplay Pablo Escobar.
Of course, a person with the imagination of the directors of this video desperately wants to suggest at least reading a book by Escobar's mistress Virginia Vallejo - boys, I can borrow it, it is in English, however, but with vocabulary in bitches, greedy, yeah, come on, one cannot do without English- Russian dictionary.
But their intellectual abilities at this stage of development reach only the film "We are the Millers" (with sluggish encroachments on Rodriguez).
Therefore, copying Mark Twain, let's drop the veil of pity on this episode.
Alisher accidentally instantly found himself in the UAE, from where he sent everyone a video newsletter that he would return, but he was afraid to dream and in general.
The only bright spot in the rapper's goodbye was Abdurozik, one of the unwitting duo of little people who have been tearing up social media this whole year.
Abdurozik was supposed to come together in a fight with Hasbik - another person of the same small stature - but did not come together.
But Hasbika can just be called the undisputed winner of this year, who, without loud statements, heifers, bills, killed deer that look like boars, and other coup attempts, won the hearts of millions, lit up with MMA stars and lives the life of the king of social networks.
* "Taliban" - the organization is under UN sanctions for terrorist activities.
The point of view of the author may not coincide with the position of the editorial board.