Thank you for being a child October 29, 21:34

Candle lights posted on SNS from all over the world.

"Thank you for being our child

."

However, the child died in his mother's tummy.

About 20,000 people in Japan experience "stillbirth" when their baby is dead.

Some people are unable to accept the cruel reality and become seriously depressed.

However, the social support system is not yet in place.

A society that can be connected without being isolated.

(Osaka base broadcasting station reporter Hikari Kitamori)

"Thank you for being our child"

October 15th.

Photos of candlelight will be uploaded one after another on Instagram.

I am posting the families of babies who died of stillbirth or miscarriage.

Hiromi Ohara (42), who lives in Kobe, experienced a stillbirth four years ago in July.

The baby is a boy.

I was planning to name it Kohei-kun.

"Thank you for being our child."

Every year, October 15th is a special day for Kohei-kun.

"Is it fetal movement?"

It was a long-awaited baby that was given after fertility treatment.

One day of 41 weeks gestation after the expected date of delivery.

I felt fluttering and Kohei-kun moving in my stomach.

I wasn't particularly worried, "Is it fetal movement?"

After that, when I went to the hospital.

I had a midwife check the condition of my baby.

However, it is difficult to check the heartbeat.

"Something is happening"

I noticed

something wrong for the

first time.

The accompanying husband and mother who were in the waiting room were also called to the examination room.

And the doctor said:

"The baby is dead"

??

??

??

I can't understand what's going on.

Mr. Ohara held his mouth with a handkerchief and desperately stopped crying.

"It will be a normal birth"

In addition, the doctor continues.

"Because he has grown so far, it will be a normal birth."

It gives birth to a dead baby.

You have to have a labor pain and face the birth.

Mr. Ohara could not accept it and was in a state close to panic.

Hiromi Ohara

"I didn't think it was a real event. I thought I'd do my best with a healthy baby after giving birth, so what should I do? I knew about stillbirth, but I never thought I would. I never thought it would happen to me. "

"I finally met, but it still doesn't work."

Two days after the doctor's declaration.

Mr. Ohara gave birth to Kohei-kun.

I don't know why he died, but he had an umbilical cord around his neck.

He is 49.3 cm tall and weighs 2720 grams.

"I finally met, but it still doesn't work." It

was a cruel reality.

"Don't be sad forever"

Even after being discharged from the hospital, the painful days continue.

One month after giving birth.

There was an obstetrics and gynecology medical examination.

I have to go back to that place where I was sad.

It's hard to go to the hospital so much that I was looking forward to.

It shouldn't be a pain to follow the same path.

I climbed the usual slope while shedding tears.

When I go outside, I can't help but see the baby's voice and appearance.

Even going out has become difficult.

It was especially hard when I received a report of childbirth from a friend.

Tears did not stop.

I couldn't control my emotions either.

"Don't be sad forever"

The words of encouragement from people close to me just made it harder.

Hiromi Ohara

"I was struck by a strong sense of loneliness after experiencing a stillbirth. I can't express it well in words. It was like I went to a different world."

My husband tried to support Mr. Ohara.

However, the sadness of losing her child is the same for her husband.

Mr. Ohara also knows that he sheds tears from time to time.

I can't hold it with my family alone.

I want you to understand this feeling.

I want to rely on someone, but I can't ...

Mr. Ohara deepened his isolation.

30% of those who have experienced stillbirth or miscarriage cannot consult with anyone

Survey results of women who have experienced stillbirths and miscarriages announced by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare.

Sixty-five percent of women who have had a stillbirth or miscarriage within the last five years were in a psychological state of suspected depression or anxiety disorder.

30% said they couldn't talk to or talk to anyone.

You can use the consultation counters of each local government, but most of them are the same counters as "childcare support".

It is a place where you can see many energetic children.

For those who have just lost their child, it is a “harsh environment”, it is not easy to visit, and the public support system is not well developed.

"To support you to walk again"

Currently, much of the support is being provided by the private sector.

Keiko (a pseudonym), who experienced a stillbirth of twins last year, says she will never forget the cremation of her baby two days after giving birth.

Keiko

"It was the hardest day in my life. The faces and figures of the two disappeared. It became a skeleton. It's the hardest, even if I think about it now or remember it."

Keiko still occasionally uses online consultations from the private organization "Osaka Doula no Kai".

"Dula" is an English word that means a specialist who supports women after childbirth.

Stillbirths and miscarriage parties often lose their relationship with medical institutions and carry them alone.

The midwife listens and snuggles up to Keiko's words.

Keiko-san

"I felt like I had fallen into total darkness ..."

Midwife

"That's right. It will take time."

The Osaka Doula Association was established two years ago and is engaged in the care of midwives and nurses who are close to the parties concerned.

Keiko, who lost her twins, was given a pair of stuffed animals.

For Keiko, who had little time to spend with her baby and had few memories, this is the heart of her heart.

Keiko-san,

"I really lived that day, and he stayed close to me where I was full of fun. I think it helped me to connect with society and stand and walk on my own feet."

"Please be a healthy mother forever."

At the meeting, we are also working on care at the right time when the parties feel painful.

For example, "Mother's Day".

The stillborn child has no name left on the family register.

Some parties feel that they are not recognized as parents and children.

I send a message card to such a person on Mother's Day.

The card that Keiko received said:

"Please be a healthy mother forever."

Keiko:

"It feels like it came from two people who died. Stillbirth and miscarriage mothers are often not recognized as mothers. It will help me to do my best again."

Ms. Mikiko Nakao, Midwife of the Osaka Doula Association

"Stillbirth and miscarriage are natural events that cannot be helped, but they are so shocking that it is difficult for one person to accept them. Some people get into a state. I think it's important to have a professional with knowledge of stillbirth like us. "

"I wish I could connect faster"

Mr. Ohara, who lost Kohei, also found a place to talk with people who have the same sadness.

I was able to share feelings that I couldn't tell anyone, and I was able to connect with the psychosomatic medicine department, which specializes in the care of loved ones and bereaved people.

Hiromi Ohara

"I was able to think that I wasn't the only one because I met people who had similar experiences. By realizing that, I gradually became able to accept the reality. I wish I could connect faster. "

Now, so that parties all over the world can connect

Now, the Internet is starting to connect parties all over the world.

This is an initiative of the international awareness week "Baby Loss Awareness Week".

Mr. Ohara is now co-representative of the "Baby Loss Family Support Angie," an organization formed by the parties concerned, in order to make this enlightenment week widely known in Japan.

Everyone in the world thinks about babies together

"Wave of Light" will be held on October 15th, the last day of the enlightenment week.

It's a day when the candles are lit and the baby is sympathetic.

Mr. Ohara spent time with his husband thinking about Kohei-kun with a candle at home.

A search for #Waveoflight on Instagram found many photos of similar candles.

"Not alone"

People all over the world were pondering the deceased baby and his family.

A photo displayed at home.

This is a picture taken with Kohei-kun and his wife, who were born, overlapping their hands.

I am grateful to my child for connecting with friends all over the world.

Hiromi Ohara

"It was a short time, but I enjoyed spending time together in my stomach. Thank you, Ko-chan, for being our child and connecting everyone."

In a society that does not let you be alone

Stillbirths in Japan are about 20,000 a year.

Many people experience miscarriage.

No matter how much medical progress is made, there are lives that cannot be saved.

The support of the parties has been overlooked.

Many people are still holding it alone.

I hope that people with worries will be able to connect to support more easily.

I felt it through the interview.

Click here for the homepage of "Osaka Doula no Kai" * Leave the NHK website

Click here for the "Baby Loss Family Support Angie" site * Leave the NHK site

Osaka base broadcasting station reporter

Hikari Kitamori

Joined in 2015 In

charge of medical coverage and case coverage of the Osaka Prefectural Police