'Wash me', an erotic short to raise awareness about sexuality and breast cancer

• ROCÍO R. GARCÍA-ABADILLO

  Madrid

Updated Tuesday, 19October2021-11: 12

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When life is in danger, the important thing is to save it and the rest is secondary. But sometimes, in this quest to survive, we face basic issues that affect the quality of that very life. Until relatively recently, the goal when a person had cancer was to survive. Over time, the psychological aspect of the disease began to be taken into account, but

.

"Many myths and many taboos are intertwined because talking about

and talking about

precisely perhaps are the two most universal emotions and the two most powerful emotions. We are not used to facing them, we have rather a society focused on pills and shortcuts and that is where part of the denials or difficulties or taboos come from. It is very difficult for us to talk about sex in a habitual, normal, integrated way - we talk about sex as objectification, porn appears, other things appear, just as we do. It costs a lot to talk about death. It is a serious problem because both are necessary and we are going to meet them and they

", points out Guillermo Fouce, president of Psychology without borders and professor of Social Psychology at the UCM.

In the case of breast cancer,

, but there are a series of physical changes that justify it, there is a medical explanation for estrogen deprivation. To the side effects of chemotherapy that everyone identifies (hair loss, nausea, vomiting, mouth sores, fatigue ...), it is added that in breast cancer and in a very specific subtype of tumor, that are tumors that express hormone receptors, "one of the therapeutic maneuvers we use is to suppress the estrogenic stimulus to reduce the risk of that tumor reappearing and this estrogenic decrease is what causes, not only all the effects related to hot flashes, but also these

, etc. ", explains Sònia Servitja, section chief of the Medical Oncology Service at Hospital del Mar (Barcelona).

From a psychological point of view, breast cancer has a special component that can affect sexuality and relationships. "In our society, the removal of one or both breasts, which undoubtedly have an important erotic component, can pose a

- especially in women who do not have a stable partner - in the face of the loss of physical attractiveness. If we add to this the context that any cancer process implies - sadness, discouragement, fatigue, etc. - and the side effects of the treatments - decreased desire, pain in penetration, vaginal dryness - can lead to the woman entering a depressive picture that limits her even more. On the other hand, it is also frequent the

at the feeling of not being able to offer everything that is 'expected' of her ", stresses psycho-oncologist and oncosexologist Rosanna Mirapeix.

"Everything that has to do with the sexual organs has an added burden," emphasizes Fouce, who also alludes to a similar phenomenon when the uterus and ovaries are removed (it can also happen to men who undergo the vasectomy). "Impotences are generated that are not only physical, they are also psychological, either because

. And then, in particular with breast cancer, the issue of the lack of acceptance of the image that one projects, I would even say not only of not showing it to the couple or family members, but of not showing it to yourself, which is the first point on which you work, accepting what has happened,

.

One of the things that you start doing, once you have a mastectomy and so on, is face looking at yourself in the mirror again and thinking about who you are, "adds Fouce.

It is curious that having such clear effects on sexuality, this aspect has been neglected in the consultations.

Patients probably feel shy and reluctant about what professionals may think, but doctors have not traditionally paid attention to this aspect either.

"From my point of view it is necessary to normalize sexuality, understand it as one more part of human relationships, as an intimate way that people have to stimulate our communication.

. Women are often afraid to raise what happens to them at this level, for fear of being labeled 'frivolous' when it is a very important part of the human condition that we must actively defend and vindicate ", Dr. Mirapeix emphasizes.

This professional explains that, although there are still many professionals to cover the real demand, psycho-oncology is a resource that is currently offered to practically all people who go through an oncological process, but

. "Obviously, in this case, it is not only due to lack of resources (the oncologist, even if he has knowledge in this area, cannot take care of this issue because it needs to be treated with time and delicacy and his agendas are also very busy), but because Both the patient himself and the doctor find it difficult to address this aspect, because it is an uncomfortable issue, which is still socially taboo. "

Dr. Servitja believes that "female sexuality has never been valued at the societal level and it seems that sexuality is secondary, but not for all women it is." The oncologist says that it has a lot to do with the sexual education received. Thus, there are women in your office aged 60-70 years who do not want to hear about it. "There are few of this age group who really express this concern in the consultation and if they express it, they do so when they have already been two or three years of treatment, not at the beginning. On the other hand, the younger women who have had an education at the better, more open and more liberal, luckily, they ask you more, earlier in the first visits. It is something that is not seen, so the social impact is still minimal and

. Yes, but how do you go through this process, which in the end is long because the chemo takes about six months, but the hormonal treatment is 5 years and in some patients we extend it to 10, which is many years of your life in this situation. "

"For example,

. The doctors themselves tell them that they may have problems with the medication, they offer them Viagra, They do not expect patients to ask for it because it is unbearable in our society that a man has to go 10 years without an erection, but if a woman has to go 10 years without being able to reach orgasm that is secondary, she should be grateful just to live. It is a hypocrisy and a contradiction what we value for women and men,

, whether we are healthy or sick. "Rebecca Stewart explains it so forcefully, who has experienced the disease on her own skin, diagnosed with only 28 years (now she is 31).

She received chemotherapy for six months, had a lumpectomy (removal of the tumor and part of the surrounding tissue, but not the breast as in a mastectomy; some lymph nodes may be removed under the arm) and then underwent radiation therapy for a few weeks. After the intervention, she could not lift her arm or wet the bandages that covered her. "I couldn't take a shower and I asked my partner for help,

and that was the inspiration for the short. Even the bandage that the actress is wearing is one of those that I had left over. the kind they gave me at the hospital. "

Rebecca talks about

, an erotic short film she has made to raise awareness about breast cancer. This British woman living in Spain for almost five years indicates that with this short she wanted to show two things. "

because there are many stories that focus only on the tragedy of cancer, which is obviously important, there are many very sad stories but also there are many more positive stories or that don't end like this, that's what I wanted to show a little more. I didn't know anyone in my environment who had had the disease, so all my knowledge was from movies and books, and that is impossible to find a character that does not die, I remember Samantha from

and little else, and the truth is that it is not like that, the chances of surviving today with breast cancer are very high [

, in very global data because some are above the 90% and others in 50%, but the overall

figure

is

, according to Dr. Servitja], but in movies and stories most of them die.

And I wanted to change that and add a story that talked about something different. "

A short film in solidarity with the investigation

Drop down

The director, Rebecca Stewart, and the producer, Erika Lust, announced that all new subscriptions to the XConfessions platform during the month of October will be donated to the Fundación Amics de l'Hospital del Mar to support research in cancer immunotherapy breast cancer at the Hospital del Mar and the Hospital del Mar Medical Research Institute (IMIM).

At the same time, they will donate 1 euro each time it is shared on social networks from the platform.

To see it, you can click here

In addition, Rebecca points out that she also wanted "to talk about the issue of sex and sexuality because since I work in an erotic film company (Erika Lust Films) I am used to talking about sexuality, it is something important to me and I know it is important to Many women, but

and it is very difficult to encourage people to talk about this, both doctors like patients, and that's something I wanted to do. From my own experience I know it's very shocking, but there's no knowledge or help on the subject. "

Dr. Servitja explains that Rebecca was one of her patients and during the treatment the young woman asked her about her concerns. "It really shocked her that I told her many times that what she asked me, if it happened to other people, made physiological sense but I couldn't tell her what percentage of women had these problems because people don't talk about it. He commented on the idea of ​​the short film and it seemed like a good initiative and thanks to his solidarity, and also to the Fundación Amics del Hospital del Mar, which has also helped us a lot, it has succeeded. It is having a lot of resonance and the fact of normalizing it will make the people speak it. In fact, since it has been published in the press there are patients who dare to speak it,

and this will make it visible, that sexuality is just as important and that they can talk about it like any other aspect ".

Stewart emphasizes how hard "the after" is. "The treatment is hard but when it ends, on a psychological level, it is harder. They tell you 'well you're done, let's see how it goes, we hope you don't come back' and you have to start living like that again, and it's hard. People he looks at you as if to say 'you are already cured, right?' People are obsessed with hair loss because it is what you see, and I do not deny that it can be traumatic for many women, but for me and others it is' very good , it has fallen and that's it. '' The treatment can last a year, but for many women if they are taking hormones it can be up to 10 years,

. We are focused on surviving, suddenly we are survivors and people think that since we have spent time looking at death and we have survived, that is enough. And yes, of

, please, and this includes sex, food, friends, work ... there are many things that mean a quality life and tell ourselves that we should not thinking about sex and that it is secondary is crazy to me. "

The director of the short highlights that in addition to a "physiological need",

. "When you are diagnosed with breast cancer you can come to hate your body because you think 'you have failed me' and there is something inside you that kills you anyway. You spend time in the hospital with needles, medications, feeling terrible,

and feel that my body was still mine and that I was on my team.

When I lost the physical possibility of having sex for a while, I lost orgasm, I had vaginal dryness, vaginismus and I could not either alone or as a couple, it did not matter, when I lost it, I lost the possibility of connecting with my body and feeling that can still give me pleasure, not just pain and trouble.

Having this is important to women. "

Next projects

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"I remember when I was going to chemotherapy, in the waiting room there was an image of a woman like that, sad, with scars, without hair ... It was a poster warning of the importance of prevention or checking your chest or something like that, but That image is very scary and I was seeing it while I was waiting for my chemotherapy treatment. Obviously it is a reality of breast cancer and it must be normalized, I do not want to hide that this may be a reality, but

because I have gone through breast cancer and I have not had a mastectomy, for example, and before that I did not know that it was not possible to go through breast cancer and not go through a mastectomy. In the future, I would also like to do a photographic project of 10-15 women all with different experiences, with different treatments and scars to show the rainbow of this disease, which does not have to be the worst, we must not hide the bad but it does show all the possibilities there are, "says Stewart.

The director would also like to make a documentary film. "In this production company we also do that format, we try to educate on a subject, for example, we made a film about pregnancy and sexuality because it seems that

. I would like to do something with patients and make it my next job with Erika Lust, interview five different women, for example, with different types of breast cancer, different scars, different studies, different images and they talk about their process and what They have spent everything focused on the issue of sexuality, and also do some sex scene alone or with a couple to show how beautiful it is to assume your body after this. I have talked to many women already about this project and it is one thing that is on hiatus.

is very good for

because it has opened the debate in some way, they have done a great job but they are actors and I would like to

and talk with women and couples of women who have gone through it and show it on a much more personal level ".

What can be done from the patient's environment

For the psycho-oncologist and oncosexologist Rosanna Mirapeix, a partner, family and friends are very important in any cancer process, "but

to providing a context in which women can express their fears, concerns and preferences in this area. A quality communication is essential for a good sexual functioning throughout the process. It is necessary to promote sexual well-being and one of the premises for this is

".

According to Mirapeix, "the health team can help the woman by addressing the issue (if she does not want to do so, she will already express it) and if necessary referring her to a professional who does not consider sexuality taking only the biological dimension into account (biological sex) , but also explore the social dimension (family, beliefs, culture, education ...), the psychological dimension (fantasies, subjective experience of love, affections, sexual identity ...) and, of course, the clinical circumstance of the All this will make it easier to establish an appropriate intervention for the person in which, on many occasions, the couple will also have to participate ".

The oncosexologist highlights two more aspects: "

." And as for the most common sexual dysfunctions that breast cancer can cause -hypoactive sexual desire and dispaurenia-, the expert indicates that taking into account that sexuality in use is coital, only these two side effects "will compromise forcefully sexual intercourse. Sexologists advocate optimizing sexual response beyond the genitals. "

Guillermo Fouce emphasizes that there is a part that is acceptance of what has happened and of the disease itself. "There is also a part of evaluating whether a reconstruction can also be addressed so that you feel as comfortable as possible, it is also your decision and we accompany you, and then there is work on the environment so that you understand what has happened to you, understand in What is the situation, be understanding and also accompany that process, give it time. With couples we also work so

. We also work hard so that they can see in the mirror, they can also reconstruct their self-image. The first thing is the self-image and then the projection towards others ". The psychologist indicates that, above all,is required

.

Rebecca Stewart asks for more research and information from doctors to talk about the issue,

, "do not wait for patients to say something because they are usually not that open to it and it can be embarrassing ". As someone who has experienced it firsthand, he insists that the image we have of cancer is very aggressive. "We are talking about being soldiers who fight a battle against an enemy that you have inside, about having to be stronger ... it is a very aggressive vocabulary, you have to be tough and have a positive mind and

to understand what is happening because for me it was not a battle,

.

It is not just a battle to survive, it is an experience that we live forever.

Cancer is already my shadow, it is there forever, it is a part that I have to live with, it may or may not come back, hopefully not, but you have to live with all the consequences of it.

Fortunately, I do not have many side effects that have lasted, but for many women it is forever or for 10 years and we have to be aware that

. "

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