The amount of data we have today on the female orgasm is overwhelming.

A kind of obsession prompts us to take survey after survey on the subject and, in fact, to tell ourselves the same thing over and over again, namely: that women generally have 'difficulties' in achieving orgasm in sexual intercourse heterosexuals.

Most of these surveys are carried out by manufacturers of erotic toys, the vast majority aimed at women.

Research agrees, for example, that

heterosexual women

reach

orgasm 65% of the time,

while

men

do so

95% of the time.

There is even an expression,

'orgasm gap'

to refer to the fact that they achieve it more than they do.

THE IMPERATIVE ORGASM

This asymmetry has an undesirable effect (beyond the absence of climax on their part): the insistence, sometimes obsessive, by many men that their partner reach orgasm at whatever cost. Experts call it

'the imperative orgasm'.

No one doubts that a part of these men strives to help their partner guided by love and generosity; but it is no less so than many others do it to feel, themselves, sexually competent. Consequence: a large number of women

fake orgasm

(

60% of Spanish women

have done it at some time, specifically).

To make matters worse, there is still a strong emphasis on the idea that women should achieve

orgasm through intercourse,

which rarely happens (well, in the movies, yes).

According to a LELO study, only

18% do so through penetration.

This coitocentric culture means that 61.3% of women have ever thought that it is 'badly done', according to a study by the sex toy brand Platanomelón.

IT IS NOT THE SAME ORGASM AS PLEASURE

The prestigious sexologist

Francisca Molero

believes that, in effect, we live under the

dictatorship of orgasm,

in a context that has reduced pleasure only at the moment of climax and where, paradoxically,

what was once criticized

is exalted

:

speed.

"We always talk about the importance of

integral sexuality,

of the participation of the whole body in obtaining pleasure and yet, despite this politically correct discourse, we return again and again to parcel out, to focus pleasure on a specific organ , or in a specific action. For a long time we did it with

penetration

and now we have done it with orgasm. We forget that

orgasm is of quality when it is part of a process.

In fact, it is not absolutely essential. Yes it is desirable, but not as a unique, isolated thing. If you see it like that, you miss the tour. And we

devalue something very valuable. "

Pleasure and orgasm are not synonymous, despite whoever it may be, Molero defends.

"Today we tend to equate them. And

orgasm is a subjective sensation of pleasure, it is not pleasure

. It is a piece, it is not the whole. To reduce pleasure to orgasm is to impoverish sexuality."

So much so that, paradoxically, we are returning sexuality to its old ways: "So many times we have talked about a non-genitalized female sexuality and we have criticized the male one focused on here I catch you here I kill you and pathologizing rapid ejaculations ..., and now we promote the same in women, get a

quick orgasm.

MARKETING AND EDUCATION

In the search for those responsible for this inexplicable change of sign in sexuality, faster and more intense -but also poorer-, it is impossible not to suspect public enemy number one: the market. "The excessive interest in orgasm is promoted by the fact that it has become an object of consumption," complains Molero.

In 2020,

65% of Spanish women used a sex toy

in search, mainly, of orgasms. "Marketing campaigns have focused on rapid clitoral stimulation, rapid orgasm. Women are sold orgasms the more intense and faster the better." And the marketing message creeps. Go if it creeps "And it creates a lot of problems," adds Molero. "For example, among young boys, who need to learn the pleasure mechanisms of their bodies. I am concerned that young people skip those learning phases to go directly to orgasm."

The enemy to beat, however, lives beyond the ads for sex toys.

"What is missing is a good

comprehensive sexual education

to be able to choose freely, something that can only be achieved with critical thinking.

Sexuality is not far from the world where it develops.

We are in a fast sexuality because it is a reflection of the moment we live in. we complain about the world that has touched us, the stress, the lack of time ... We should reflect on this, on our current sexuality, and what we have become ".

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

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