"Most Deadly Mental Illness" -The Suffering Is Not Your fault August 19th, 15:55

What was fun for many was the invisible suffering for women.

There are at least 200,000 people nationwide who have the same illness as women.

It is said that there are more patients, including those who do not go to a medical institution, and it is said that many people are now exacerbating their symptoms due to corona sickness.

“The suffering is not your fault” A

woman's heart-saving message may one day help someone special.

(Kanazawa Broadcasting Station reporter Sawa Sonoyama)

The safest food

There was a surprising amount of "bread" in the house.

In the refrigerator, under the stairs, and in the storeroom ...

Haruka from Kanazawa (34).

There are symptoms of "overeating vomiting", an eating disorder that causes vomiting when eaten in large quantities.

"We have a large amount of bread in stock.

I'm worried if there are few.

Rest assured that there is

For Haruka-san, bread is the easiest food to spit out and is said to be "safe food."

When exhaling, carbonated water is poured into the stomach at once.

There was also a large amount of carbonated water opposite the toilet so that you could always vomit in the toilet if you wanted to.

"Even if you want to eat cake, you can always get a discount of 50 yen bread"

Haruka has been living such a life for 18 years.

Broken brake

Haruka-san was in the upper grades of elementary school.

It looks like a healthy girl.

But from this time on, I started to feel a complex in my body shape.

17 years old.

I tried to resolve the entanglement of relationships between my colleagues in the high school club activities I was in, but it didn't work and there was no follow-up from the people around me.

Haruka, who felt isolated, began to devote himself to training and find "salvation" in his weight loss.

Only 3 lunch boxes on training day.

At first, it was just like that, every time I lost weight, my heart became lighter.

An opportunity that seems trivial.

However, by that time, Haruka was already losing control of her eating habits.

By drastically reducing the amount of food we eat, we have become a habit of eating large amounts of food and vomiting, and the fight against illness that continues to this day has begun.

I lost the power to vomit ...

Haruka's legs when she was the thinnest.

I weighed down to 24 kg and couldn't get up as soon as I fell.

It was when I was 22 that I felt that I might die.

While I was sick with a cold, I forcibly packed a lot of food as usual.

However, he could not spit it out and was taken by ambulance.

And emergency surgery.

I cut my stomach and inserted a tube to remove food and water.

Haruka's body was so weak that she couldn't even spit food.

"It was really painful and I thought I was going to die.

Even if I don't think I'll eat and vomit because of this thought, when I get home from the hospital, I eat little by little and vomit. "

Haruka's stomach had scars of painful surgery.

In the patient's mind

An eating disorder that causes various complications and is said to be the "mental illness with the highest mortality rate."

It is said that the number of patients is even higher, including 200,000 people nationwide, including those who do not go to a medical institution, and it is not strange if someone around you is suffering.

However, how to support it is a difficult problem for those around us.

If you have a friend nearby who is obviously eating less, you may be worried and want to advise, "You should eat more" and "You shouldn't worry about your weight."

On the other hand, it is said that people with eating disorders often blame themselves for not being able to keep the "natural" act of eating.

Even if I said something that I thought was good, "Why can't I eat it?"

"Isn't it something I can do depending on my feelings?"

』\ It is said that you may feel such an unspoken feeling and be cornered more and more.

Haruka:

"The act of eating and vomiting certainly hurt your body.

But only at that time, I can forget the pain of my heart.

I feel like I can live by pushing anxiety and sickness into my body with food and spitting it out.

I want someone to help me, it's really hard for me.

There is a pain that cannot be expressed in words. "

On the day of the interview, the expression of Haruka-san, who spoke hard, was very impressive to me.

Words that saved me

Every day I can't tell anyone how hard it is, and I'm holding one person.

A dozen years ago, Haruka became aware of even choosing to die herself.

I once went to Okinawa alone, saying, "If you die anyway, in a place with a beautiful sea."

However, I couldn't give up my thought, "I think there will be someone who will accept me someday."

"Believe in hope, it's okay.

Now, I want to live with compassion and pity. "

In the diary written by Haruka at that time, the feeling of struggling at the edge of despair was spelled out.

A ray of light that touched Haruka's heart.

This is a letter sent by a correspondent who experienced the same illness.

"Mr. Haruka, he said he wanted to live even if he clung to bulimia. He said he was out of bed. I was very happy to read that. Mr. Haruka, good. It's okay. If you continue to treat yourself slowly and slowly without being impatient, one day you will come to the moment when you really love and cherish yourself from the bottom of your heart. , The urge to eat and vomit should be gone. "

The message, "The pain is not your fault" and "You can be as it is".

"It gave me hope at that time.

He acknowledged me at that time. "

Haruka said that the letter "feels like a treasure."

To a gradual recovery

Haruka is now participating in the activities of the self-help group "Akari Project" for people with eating disorders in Ishikawa Prefecture.

The group's motto is "Don't preach, don't criticize, don't give advice."

Almost every day, the members who want to get together that day get together and share their worries.

The leader is Izumi Yamaguchi.

Haruka is a woman who wrote a letter saying that she is still a "treasure".

Mr. Yamaguchi himself has suffered from eating disorders for many years and has overcome his symptoms.

Izumi Yamaguchi: At

first, I thought that the cause of my illness was my sweetness and weak will.

I didn't think it was like asking someone for help.

But many people are suffering as well.

It's not that something is wrong with the sufferer.

I'm not blaming you.

You can ask for help. "

The group continues to make its own coffee, based in a single-family home.

Choose beans and roast them while spending a relaxing time.

Repeat the tasting and roast again while consulting.

Homemade coffee is sold at donut shops and public facilities in Kanazawa.

"Everyone is not bad.

Everyone has power and is useful to others. ”

I would like to connect the activities of supporting each other to the connection with society.

Haruka-san:

"I'm not trying to force myself to heal now.

I feel that I can admit myself because I feel that I am not alone, and because I can think of the other person.

I wonder if it's time to finally "give up" the symptoms while living like myself. "

Postscript

Is it the result of an extreme diet?

Until I met Haruka-san, I had such a belief.

Eating disorders that can lead to death by contracting not only the muscles but also the brain if the disease is prolonged.

Despite its seriousness, the misconception that "it can be managed depending on the mind" is afflicting the parties.

Through interviews, I also learned that the number of specialized hospitals and doctors is extremely small, and there are many cases in which patients cannot receive the medical care they need.

Since the expansion of the new corona, it has become difficult to access medical care that has finally arrived, and it is said that many people have worsened their symptoms due to isolation.

Haruka-san was able to walk forward because she met someone who would accept her as she was.

I hope that as many people as possible will understand the disease of eating disorders and lead to a society where they can gently watch over "the suffering is not your fault".

Kanazawahosokyoku reporters

Sonoyama shower

Ryowa two years He joined

was assigned to Kanazawahosokyoku second year of the current, the cap of the case trial in charge.

I have a driver's license, but I refrain from driving for safety reasons.