The Changes of College Students' Views on Love and Marriage in the Eyes of Two College Teachers of Love Guidance Course
Marriage and love anxiety tends to be younger
The difficulty of marriage and love has become an indisputable fact in our society.
With the younger generation of marriage and love anxiety, on university campuses, marriage and love courses have become a "life-saving straw" for many college students.
Many elective courses related to marriage and love in colleges and universities have been enthusiastically sought after by college students once they have been opened.
Teacher Zhang Xiaowen of Wuhan University of Technology who teaches this course believes that the development of the Internet is the main driver of marriage and love anxiety. Reducing the time spent on surfing the Internet, taking action, and connecting with the real world is the only way for young people to relieve campus marriage and love anxiety and obtain happiness. the way.
---------------
Marriage, as a major event in life, has always been a concern of the public, and it has also troubled many young people.
In recent years, hot topics about marriage and love have frequently appeared in the media. Topics such as "leftover men and women", "expensive gifts", and "fancy wedding urges" have triggered extensive discussions, which have also aggravated people's anxiety about marriage and love.
In fact, the difficulty of marriage and love has become an indisputable fact in our society.
According to the "2019 Civil Affairs Statistics Bulletin" published by the Ministry of Civil Affairs, my country handled 9.273 million marriage registrations in accordance with the law throughout the year, a decrease of 8.5% from the previous year, and the marriage rate was 6.6‰, which was a decrease of 0.7 thousand points from the previous year, which was 2013. The lowest data since the year.
On university campuses, "campus love", which has a positive relationship with "marriage", cannot avoid this catalyst, and marriage and love anxiety is showing a younger trend.
When the anxiety of marriage and love broke out quietly, the marriage and love course became a "life-saving straw" for many college students.
Marriage and love classes become campus "explosive" courses
"Start right away, there is one minute left!" At around 9 am, Fu Sen, a junior at Wuhan University, was staring nervously at the computer screen.
In order to grab the course he wanted, he logged into the course selection system early in the morning and waited slowly in front of the computer.
When the needle was at 10 o'clock, he quickly clicked "Select Course".
He didn't show a relieved smile until the "required love course" course appeared in the class schedule.
"I have been staring at this course for 3 years. There are many people who want to choose it. If you don't prepare early, it will be difficult to choose it." Fu Sen said.
As a general elective course of Wuhan University, the "Compulsory Love Course" has been sought after by students since its establishment in 2012 and has become the school's "explosive" course.
There is also Ye Wei, a graduate student of Wuhan University of Technology who has similar experiences with Fu Sen.
Due to lack of knowledge of marriage and love and full of yearning for marriage and love, Ye Wei and three roommates in the same dormitory made an appointment to "grab" the lesson together.
The course they want to "grab" is a general elective course "Marriage and Workplace Personality" offered by Zhang Xiaowen, a teacher of career development and psychology at Wuhan University of Technology.
"Although I have experienced love affairs, I still don't have a systematic understanding of marriage and love. The school is quite well-known. It is a good way to learn about marriage and love through class." In Ye Wei's view, learning can help solve possible encounters in love. Various problems.
At Wuhan University of Technology, there are more than 1,600 postgraduates who choose the elective course of "Marriage and Love Workplace Personality" like Ye Wei, which is far ahead of other general elective courses.
In fact, there are far more students who come here to attend the class.
"Different from the "love psychology" I gave to undergraduates, researching and discussing intimacy. "Marriage and Love Workplace Personality" starts from personality and explores what kind of workplace and love people of different personalities will encounter, and more It is more targeted and has more practical value." Zhang Xiaowen said.
It is understood that the online courses of "Marriage and Love in the Workplace Personality" and "Love Psychology" are as popular. The two courses have been online for 4 years in the Chinese University MOOC, and the number of courses selected has exceeded one million.
Among them, "Marriage and Love Workplace Personality" won the 2017 "My Favorite MOOC" TOP3 selected by the China University MOOC organization, and Zhang Xiaowen also won the 2017 Emerging Teacher Award from the Love Course.
In fact, the popularity of marriage and love courses is not new. As early as 2007, Beijing Normal University opened a course "Intimacy and Self-growth", which was sought after by students; in 2013, East China Normal University opened the course "Marriage and Love". Won a lot of popularity; in 2015, the "Love Psychology" elective course offered by Zhengzhou Normal University was full as soon as it was opened...
"China Youth Daily" previously reported a set of data in "What should I teach in a university romance class": "The China Youth School Media launched a questionnaire survey of 1,028 college students across the country. The survey results show that 88.23% of college students support the establishment of a relationship in the university. class."
These hot data inevitably make people think, why are marriage and love courses so popular among college students?
Social marriage and love anxiety spreads in colleges and universities
Chen Wan, a graduate student of Wuhan University who has taken the "compulsory course of love", believes that college marriage and love courses can not only satisfy students' curiosity and yearning for love, but also alleviate the increasing anxiety about marriage and love.
In Chen Wan's view, in recent years, there have been more and more news about PUA, derailment, and domestic violence. Some marketing accounts specifically rely on provoking gender antagonism to attract attention and cause social anxiety about marriage and love.
This anxiety also affects college students, which may be one of the reasons for the popularity of marriage and love courses.
When social anxiety about marriage and love gradually spreads in the "ivory tower", there are endless situations in which college students do not know how to start falling in love, blindly start falling in love, and do not want to fall in love.
"As soon as I decided that I could go to graduate school, my parents started urging me to find someone." Zhong Yun, a graduate student of Wuhan University of Technology, said helplessly.
At first, Zhong Yun thought that being in love would not be difficult in a science and engineering school, and she and her friends set the goal of "getting off the order after enrolling in school".
However, a few months later, she discovered that she did not have the courage to take the initiative to contact her close friends, and she did not feel the classmates she often contacted.
Under such circumstances, she took the marriage and love course offered by Teacher Zhang Xiaowen with the idea of "being able to get rid of the order and learn more about love".
Zhong Yun believes that women are more easily defined by "social time" than men.
As we grow older, we will endure more pressure from parents and society.
"Every time I see the'Hubei Master's Blind Date' advertisement on the wall of a subway station, I feel shocked. Girls are inherently anxious about their own age. After graduate school, if there is no stable marriage partner, this The anxiety will be infinitely magnified."
There is also Wang Chen, a graduate student from a college in Wuhan who has the same anxiety as Zhong Yun.
"What to do, will I fail to marry" has become her mantra.
Wang Chen said that his anxiety mainly comes from the endless negative reports about marriage and love on the Internet.
Every time she saw these news, she would feel "don't believe in love anymore" and worry about whether she could meet a suitable marriage partner.
For Wang Chen, the noisy public opinion has affected her views on marriage and love.
"On the one hand, I long for marriage and love, and on the other hand, I feel very scared. Every time I see relevant news and some extreme comments, I feel that even if I find someone I like, I don’t dare to fall in love, let alone get married."
In the past year, Wan Jing, a senior at a university in Hubei, changed three friends.
"In a university campus without more constraints, everyone's rhythm will become very fast." Wan Jing believes that modern society leaves too little time for everyone to understand the marriage partner, so love will be more self-interested.
In Wan Jing's mind, love and marriage are not necessarily related.
"Marriage will involve two families. Many practical factors need to be considered, which inevitably makes people feel anxious. But being in love is not the same, just like making friends and blind dates, it is just a way to interact with people." The subject will make themselves feel anxious, it is better to re-development a relationship, as long as they avoid the problems encountered before, the anxiety can be temporarily relieved.
Marriage and love anxiety not only brings the confusion and blindness of love, but also promotes the extreme tendency of anxiety to a certain extent. "Non-marriageism" and "Non-loveism" have grown in the campus environment.
"Instead of worrying about the various frictions in the future, in an era when you can support yourself, not falling in love is the easiest way of life." This is the "life motto" of Xiao Qi, a student from a university in Wuhan.
Xiao Qi feels that “campus marriage is too naive and social marriage is too utilitarian. Since marriage and love can cause anxiety, it’s better to leave it behind and study hard.” Compared with the “dink culture” that emerged in the early years, “no love” "Has become a more respected way of life for campus "Xiao Qis".
In Xiao Qi’s view, marriage and love are a small part of studying, idols, and work. It is not worth spending so much time on another person. “The relationship in love will affect future life planning. I don’t want to be affected by another person. Unknown people constrain their lives."
How to solve youth marriage anxiety
As a teacher of marriage and love class, Zhang Xiaowen discovered that great changes have taken place in college students' views on marriage and love.
“I’ve been offering marriage and love classes for 10 years, and it’s obvious that love seems to be'disenchanted' now. Everyone feels that this thing is not so sacred or necessary. Students will think that love is illusory and requires a lot of energy. In the end, it may not necessarily get good results."
Yan Nianci, a teacher at Hubei University of Economics, has similar feelings.
The two courses of "Sociology of Love" and "Love, Marriage and Family" offered by her at school have attracted many students to sign up.
Among them, the confession of a student named Jia Liang left a deep impression on her.
Jia Liang ridiculed his love experience as a "rocket crash" love, which started vigorously and quickly, and ended vigorously and quickly.
"There was a girl who met me on the first day, and on the second day she took the initiative to confirm her relationship with me, changed her couple's profile picture, and promoted it on social platforms, but she dumped me on the third day." Similar things happened to him It happened more than once.
Jia Liang is both a victim of "blind love" and a participant in "blind love".
"After experiencing this, my expectations for love began to ebb, and I felt chaos, fear and anxiety. I decided to choose revenge to make friends and ambiguous with many girls until my fever was over, and then I ignored it."
In this regard, Yan Nianci said that college students' views on marriage and love have undergone great changes, with distinctive characteristics of the times. The innocent and slow love in the ivory tower is drifting away, and young people today are more anxious than they were 10 years ago.
Many students only care about their own feelings, their love comes and goes quickly.
They pay more attention to marriage and love skills than theoretical learning. For example, when students choose courses, they are more concerned about how to learn to fall in love, how to find a loved one, and how to avoid being PUA.
"This is actually somewhat different from the content of my course." Yan Nianci said.
In Zhang Xiaowen's view, the development of the Internet is the main driving force behind marriage and love anxiety.
"People born in the Internet age are most affected by the Internet, and their individual autonomy and personal awareness are also stronger. When facing love, they tend to hold more different concepts and show more diverse and more individual aspects. "Zhang Xiaowen analyzed.
“Students’ emotions are easily driven by the Internet. Nowadays, many of the anxiety about marriage and love comes from the amplification of online emotions and the rendering of gender antagonisms between men and women. The negative reports on marriage and the guidance of the lonely economic market on the Internet increase. This anxiety will make Their desire for marriage and love is reduced." Zhang Xiaowen said.
She believes that under the control of anxiety, students will have a need for knowledge about love, but marriage and love involve many aspects, and its occurrence is by no means determined by a beautiful encounter like a TV drama. It is inevitable that they will be affected by the society in the process of exploration. The impact of stress on the environment.
However, Zhang Xiaowen said that although the development of modern society has alienated certain human natures and made marriage and love anxiety have certain characteristics of the times, this is also a natural thing, and there is no need to worry too much.
Because the pursuit of love and belonging is the essential need of human beings.
How can the young generation alleviate their own anxiety about marriage and love?
Zhang Xiaowen puts forward suggestions to college students: "Connecting to the real world is the only way for us to be happy. To reduce the time spent surfing the Internet, take action, take the initiative to meet friends, and sincerely interact with people is the best way to alleviate the anxiety of marriage and love on campus. Method. The more links we get in the real world, the less anxiety in the spiritual world."
(At the request of the interviewee, the characters Fu Sen, Ye Wei, Chen Wan, Zhong Yun, Wang Chen, Wan Jing, Xiao Qi, and Jia Liang involved in the article are all pseudonyms)
Intern Zheng Peilin China Youth Daily·China Youth Daily reporter Lei Yu Source: China Youth Daily