“Ghosting” is a practice that seems to be more and more frequent.
After having sex, being left without any news from your partner can undermine self-confidence, as it did for Katia.
Catherine Blanc explains to him that there is a good chance that the problem is on the side of his partner and not his.
You may have had the experience of suddenly not receiving messages from your partner.
This practice is called "ghosting".
Without an explanation, a person ends the relationship and ceases all communication.
In Without an appointment, Monday, Catherine Blanc answers Katia, victim of this inelegant practice and who does not understand why some people do this.
Catherine Blanc reassures her by telling her that she is probably not involved and that it is above all a problem to be solved on the side of the one who "ghosts".
Katia's question
I got ghosted by a guy after sleeping with him.
I do not understand this way of doing things.
It's really hurtful and I find it super cowardly.
Why do some people do this?
Catherine Blanc's response
"Ghoster" means to become a ghost in the life of the other.
We slept with him, we shared privacy and all of a sudden, we no longer exist at all.
And there is all that it leaves behind in silence.
Inevitably, the person who is ghosted will want to try to interpret this silence.
"What did I do or say? What does the other think of me?"
Do we have to tell ourselves that we have been bad if this happens?
This is exactly what we imagine.
But the explanation can also be that the one with whom we made love is the one who feels bad, not up to it or was afraid of the gaze of the other.
So, he disappears because he has a hard time existing in the relationship.
It can also be consumer behavior.
I consume the other, take it and throw it away as if it doesn't exist.
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When relationships are weakened because we have not understood each other or that we no longer get along, that the relationship becomes too difficult to bear, it is something else.
But there, we are two bodies that meet, desire each other and come to get along enough to sleep together.
And then, all of a sudden, there is no one left.
Is it more of a boy's thing?
Women can also ghost.
But, indeed, it is often in men that we have found it difficult to put words into the expression of feelings.
Sometimes it's easier to go and buy a pack of cigarettes and never come back up.
On the other hand, women can have the feeling of being in a body used for petty business and then no longer existing, which is very hurtful.
Why not communicate?
Its not always easy.
Telling someone that they don't suit us or that we don't want them anymore is quite difficult.
How to react when this happens? Should we say to ourselves that it is not worth it?
You can take the time to question yourself if necessary, but you cannot spend your life doing so.
We are not always responsible for what the other does or not.
The other may have their limits, be having difficulty establishing a link or making themselves understood.
It is all the more unfortunate that one can be brought to meet again sooner or later by groups of friends. So it's a bit bad, but we also have the right to be zero. The problem with silence is that it either makes us very aggressive towards the one who creates it, or it makes us question ourselves over and over to feed our own negative idea of ourselves.