Accepting the facts does not mean "learning to accept fate", but accepting the fact that the child is an ordinary person, reconciling with oneself, and reconciling with the child.
Recently, a video of Peking University associate professor Ding Yanqing "Tucao's daughter" became popular on the Internet.
Ding Yanqing is an associate professor and doctoral supervisor of the School of Education of Peking University. His wife is also a high-achieving student who graduated from Peking University.
However, according to the video that became popular, he also appeared very broken and helpless when he was counseling his daughter on homework.
Ding Yanqing also said, "No matter how good you are, your child is likely to be an ordinary person. It is good for everyone to recognize this and learn to accept it." However, some people wondered how the high-achieving students of Peking University could not give birth. Excellent kid?
Others question whether there is a problem with the parent's education method.
If the parents of the "student tyrant" give birth to "student scum" children, it looks incredible, but in fact, it is very likely to be a high probability event.
British biologist and statistician Galton studied the relationship between the height of the father and the offspring and found that when the father is higher than the average height, the probability that the son is taller than him is less than the probability that the father is shorter than him; When he is shorter than the average height, the probability of a son being shorter than him is less than the probability of being higher than him.
In other words, from a statistical point of view, the height of the children is approaching the average height.
This phenomenon is called the regression effect.
Therefore, some scholars apply this theory to human IQ, thinking that in the long run, IQ will also "revert to the mean," that is, move closer to the average of the entire society.
In fact, this is not surprising.
However, such a theory is very difficult to accept. After all, who is not looking for a child to become a dragon or a daughter to become a phoenix?
Who wants his children to be inferior to himself?
The author understands such anxious and unwilling mood.
The author and his family also graduated from well-known 985 universities in China, and have been a "student tyrant" since childhood.
However, after the children went to elementary school, they discovered that the baby not only did not become a "student tyrant", but was on the road of a "student scumbag".
From heartache to doubting life, and finally reluctant to accept, the whole process is simply a life practice.
Of course, accepting facts does not mean "learning to accept fate."
Presumably, what Teacher Ding said of "learning to accept" is not the "lying down" that many people understand, and doing nothing.
It is to accept the fact that the child is an ordinary person, and reconcile with oneself, and reconcile with the child.
This is a rational and wise attitude.
Therefore, in the attitude towards children, there is no such a "choice of two" multiple-choice questions, but as Teacher Ding said, the characteristics of children must be "accepted".
In fact, the so-called "student tyrant" and "student scum" can't completely summarize a person, at most it can only explain the achievements of a child under the current education system.
In addition to scores, there are many aspects of life.
Seeing this, you can be less obsessed with your child's academic performance.
Chengdu Commercial Daily-Red Star News Special Commentator Tuturong