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Quarter-finals in the rehabilitation dance camp for ex-anything celebs.
This year, among others, ex-daily TV broadcasters, ex-soccer professionals, ex-Monroes singers, ex-DSDS candidates, ex-Prince Charmings and, with Valentina Pahde, even Raúl Richter's ex tried to become a dancing star.
Of fourteen prominent new dancers who started in February, five are left two weeks before the final: Auma Obama, Simon Zachenhuber, Rúrik Gíslason, Nicolas Puschmann and Valentina Pahde.
The latter was already identified weeks ago by the social media jury as Joachim Llambi's favorite this year. Overall, it says on Twitter, Germany's most important echo sounder for celebrity sympathy gradient, Pahde would be technically very good, but emotionally more Cruella de Vil. Something similar is traditionally attributed every year to a candidate who regularly raves about Duisburg's most famous half-Spaniard from the jury's desk. In the past two years, for example, Ella Endlich or Lili Paul-Roncalli. In addition to commentators on the central organ for self-appointed dance scholars, more and more real experts are also suggesting this notion. The professional dancers Oana Nechit and Erich Klann recently grappled with Llambi in a similarly critical manner.
Both have a much greater expertise than all comment column hobby jurors put together.
Klann was there for ten years until 2020 - including victories with Magdalena Brzeska and today's co-presenter Victoria Swarovski.
Trouble in paradise?
Well
Not this week, anyway.
Llambi is unusually good.
Presumably because of the euphoria of the rescue of MSV Duisburg, which became known during the live broadcast.
Llambi's hometown club can avoid falling into fourth division.
The zebras used to be part of the first division establishment and even made it to the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup in 1979.
Passed through from the very top to a hair-pinch before the limit of insignificance.
So somehow MSV Duisburg is the Blackberry of soccer clubs.
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When there is finally dancing, every celebrity appears twice due to the reduced number of participants. Initially traditional, then in the “Trio Dance” category - here supplemented by another professional dancer. Two professionals, one amateur. A bit like "Trio with four fists", only with more revealing clothes.
The evening begins with rather mixed appearances by Auma Obama and Simon Zachenhuber. The boxer, as always at the side of the dance professionals Kylie Minogue, Patricija Belousova, is lucky: Motsi Mabuse always finds something positive: “You were the best in the moments when you weren't dancing”. One of the most charming compliments ever. The only more charming would be: “You are most beautiful when it is pitch dark” or “You sing best when you are gagged”. The judgment of praise allergy sufferer Joachim Llambi is harder: “That was Botafogo with twisted feet”. That sounds a bit like a rare South American bird with a walking error. The cheers at Zachenhuber are correspondingly restrained. Nobody seems surprised in the wide, but also empty, circle of the Tanzpalast in Cologne-Ossendorf.For Llambi, praise for a young man falls into the category of “gross tax arrears”: if it can be avoided somehow, then gladly.
Simon only gets 16 points.
One for every year of life, at least if you follow my mother's assessment of Simon's age.
However, Daniel Hartwich also consistently thinks that this is the son of Jimmy Hartwig.
Your judgment can therefore confidently be described as even less relevant than the FDP.
For Simon there are positive words from Victoria Swarovski: “You always have to get the positive out of it!” Fortunately, Simon lets his pants shut and prefers to trust his second dance of the evening.
Professional boxer Simon Zachenhuber and professional dancer Patricija Belousova
Source: dpa / Andreas Rentz
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Shortly after 9 p.m., “Let's Dance” switches to traditional Zoten mode for the rest of the evening. Surprisingly, no trigger today: Joachim Llambi. Unexpectedly, professional dancer Renata Lusin opens the tsunami of personalities. She explains dance sex god Rúrik Gíslason the Paso Doble: "Always the pelvis forward and the cojones out". Oliver Kahn ("Eggs! We need eggs!") At home on TV couldn't be prouder. Overall, Playboy cover girl Renata seems to be the first to reach operating temperature this week. The egg wish is not your last pro tip: “Don't throw your arms away!” Elementary for dancers. If you run out of arms, cojones won't help either.
Rúrik takes all the instructions calmly and in between he even finds time to fulfill his main task at “Let's Dance”: taking selfies in front of the mirror. Renata Lusin apparently even has to drive herself down with cocaine out of sheer excitement. At least that's how I understand your wish: “I want a line”. Tourik (half torero, half Rúrik) is ready to dance even without drugs and puts down a flawless 30-point paso. Only his red torero cloth is shockingly unironed. Sloppiness in the costume department?
Keyword ironing: Motsi Mabuse is about to spontaneously faint (called Rúrik delirium in dance circles).
In such excitement, she even invents a new description for male genital organs in rapture: "One saw the inner muscles in your thighs".
What exactly she saw remains her erotic secret.
But whatever it was: I want to see it too!
The jurors Jorge Gonzalez, Motsi Mabuse and Joachim Llambi
Source: dpa / Andreas Rentz
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Ironed on in this way, Motsi can no longer be held. Nicolas Puschmann attests it: "You danced with a vibration in your body". Motsi, the little jury pig. Stop zot mode. I hadn't promised too much. Valentina Pahde and Valentin Lusin apparently celebrated their 30 points from the previous week with a small drink, which the combat drinker Pahde probably did not survive completely symptom-free: “Everything that comes in has to go out again”. Fortunately, Contemporary is on their schedule. Exalted movements are not so noticeable and spontaneous vomiting on the floor can be declared as part of the storytelling afterwards.
In the mostly very creative freestyle dance, Valentina hangs primarily on a gymnastics ring dangling from the ceiling. In short one thinks: Oh great, RTL has secured the broadcast rights for the floor exercise world championship. A quick look at social media shows that the PEGIBA (Patriotic Europeans against interest-driven evaluation agenda) has developed its own comparative theory for the traditional Valentina hymn of praise by Joachim Llambi: For example, if Lola Weippert had tumbled two thirds of her dance from the ceiling, it would be there not 30, but a maximum of 20 points. Main criticism: too little dance.
We will never know whether this is really true. One thing is clear: Jorge González (now with Paul Breitner's memorial hairstyle) and Motsi Mabuse also share Llambi's enthusiasm for the GZSZ dance marie. In order to be able to change the subject quickly, the next category follows directly: the trio dances. Unfortunately nobody sings “Da Da Da”, but it is now performed in groups of three. Auma debuts with a very good threesome. Even Jorge is positive about that. Fortunately, not tested, but surprised.
For Rúrik Gíslason, Joachim Llambi then digs deep into the tactics box: "If you open the left side, it will be difficult".
As a former professional footballer, Rúrik should know that.
The “Let's Dance” train then puts the trio Valentina Pahde, Valentin Lusin and Evgeny Vinokurov back on the track.
First, Pahde opens up to the amazed audience that she would call Valentin and Evgeny "my two Russian whips".
And then a single player from the dress rehearsal finally derails the Zoten train.
Courageously, she grabs Valentin's crotch there, pauses for a few seconds of disbelief and then saves herself in a fit of laughter.
Actress Valentina Pahde and professional dancer Valentin Lusin (l) dance a trio dance together with dancer Evgeny Vinokurov
Source: dpa / Andreas Rentz
But nobody has to worry about Valentine's delicate framework. Renata Lusin's husband mischievously announces to the audience of millions that everything would be fine with him downstairs, because: "I have been treated well". In the stands, the color of his wife Renata's face changes from soft-cheeked, light pink to horrified bright red. A new record of obscenity even for what is usually quite slippery “Let's Dance” conditions.
Nicolas has completely different problems in this region of the body: "Sometimes everything comes forward and then it looks like something is there".
He is rightly appalled.
Because there is of course: nothing.
It's like with the Greens.
They want to cancel a lot in the Bundestag election year.
The always very fast hyperventilating freedom combo around old, white men who are afraid for their cheap neck steak as soon as Annalena Baerbock has clarified her training situation and won the election, is already at 180. There is even talk of flight bans.
But it's all fake news.
No flight ban: someone is flying again this week.
Today it hits Auma Obama.
And what else was going on?
For them, the quarter-finals are over. But disappointment is not appropriate. After all, it is the FC Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund of the celebrity scene. Both failed in the quarter-finals of the Champions League and are now champions and cup winners. So Auma can dust off the trophy cabinet. Shortly before the decision comes the first highlight of the evening: Chris Tall has become a lot thinner and also a lot more blond during the week. But after a few minutes it becomes clear: this is Frauke Ludowig. Cheers in the living rooms: Finally “Exclusive Special” again instead of Chris Tall's late night show right after the tea dance with Daniel and Vici. Will Frauke be back for the semifinals next week? I do not know - but I will report! See you on the dance floor!
Tanzmarie with jury member Motsi Mabuse
Source: Marie von den Benken
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Marie von den Benken is on Twitter and Instagram as @Regendelfin, she is from Hamburg, model and author. She also writes every week on ICONIST about the big and small dramas on “Germany's Next Topmodel” and “Let's Dance” (to be seen every Friday on RTL and TVNow).
Our podcast THE REAL WORD is about the important big and small questions in life: What do breast selfies have to do with feminism? How does the long-term relationship stay happy? And what can you learn from the TV bachelorette? Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify, Deezer, iTunes or Google Podcasts, or subscribe to us directly via RSS feed.