I work as a funeral planner in a funeral home
Author: Du Yan Xu Jing
Can you accept that, on the premise of voluntarily, hold a farewell ceremony or even directly participate in the planning?
"Family and friends gather together to chat about the past, life and death, and the days when there is no'I'.'I' can say a wish list, and even the current'I' can talk to the dying'I' to remind relatives ."
Two years ago, the funeral planner Jin Middle School of the Babaoshan Funeral Home in Beijing planned a "farewell party".
Two years have passed, and everything is vividly visible.
Jin Middle School, funeral planner of Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home.
Photo by Tomita
The talk of "death" is no longer secretive
"For a long time, affected by many factors, the Chinese have kept a close eye on death, but changes are happening little by little." Jin Middle School felt deeply about this.
Before entering the funeral industry, Jin Middle School worked as a technician in a state-owned enterprise in Beijing for nearly ten years.
During the period, his good friend's father died unexpectedly, and the good friend couldn’t help himself in grief. Jin Middle School assisted in contacting the funeral home with various funeral matters, ranging from the overall arrangement of the funeral to the playing of a piece of music, the placement of a flower, etc. .
My friend told Jin Middle School afterwards that his head was blank for the past few days. Apart from grief or grief, Jin Middle School was the person who led the line.
Listening to the narration of a friend, recalling that the staff always listened patiently and tried their best to meet the requirements of care and empathy during the contact. From that time on, Jin Middle School had the idea of having a deep understanding of the funeral industry.
In 2006, he entered the Babaoshan Funeral Home and became a practitioner in the funeral industry.
Although supported by his wife and parents, in the first few years, he was reluctant to mention his new career to his classmates, relatives, and friends. "It is more afraid of arousing others' taboos at gatherings and happy occasions. ."
"People around me already know about my profession, and sometimes people will have small discussions about life and death." Jin Zhongzhong said that with the development of society, people's concepts are gradually changing, and the talk of "death" is no longer secretive.
Jin Middle School, funeral planner of Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home.
Photo by Tomita
Treat yourself as a temporary relative of the deceased
"Life is a matter of rituals; death, funerals are rituals, and sacrifices are rituals." At work, facing the grieving relatives of the deceased, Jin Middle School regarded himself as them during the three to five days of planning the funeral. Temporary relatives of the deceased, coordinate matters in the communication with the family members of the deceased, so as to calm and ease emotions.
When the emotions of the deceased's family broke out, Jin Middle School listened patiently and gave a peaceful response.
When encountering conflicts between the family members of the deceased, he urged "to let go of the temporary conflicts and let the relatives leave quietly and smoothly."
The reporter followed him to the farewell hall, where a funeral will be held the next day. He carefully checked the wreaths, elegiac couplets, and flowers displayed.
He told reporters that every funeral will make a personalized plan based on the life of the deceased.
For example, if the deceased was a scholar before his death, the flowers in front of the portrait would appear in the shape of a book; while the deceased was a musician or music lover, the flowers in front of the portrait would show music scores, and so on.
In the farewell hall with the theme of plum, orchid, bamboo and chrysanthemum, a large screen is set in the middle.
He introduced that personalized content will be displayed on the big screen to show the deceased's voice and smile.
“Without violating the management regulations, the needs of the deceased’s family members can be met.” Jin Middle School said that sometimes even a small detail of the funeral was thought of before the family members, such as adding the deceased’s frequent routines in the audio. Humming the original sound of the song, presenting Hada to the deceased and fulfilling his last wish, etc.
With this kind of dedication, Jin Middle School has been like a day for 15 years, and he has participated in planning nearly 10,000 funerals so far.
Among them, there are funerals for babies a few months old and funerals for people over centenarians.
During the funeral, there were parents who missed their children endlessly, and there were also young fathers who "come to the end of life" after struggling with the illness and wanted to say "I love you" to their parents aloud...
"There is no rehearsal for life, and there is no rehearsal for the funeral." Jin Zhongzhong said that the Chinese are more reserved. They always feel that there is still time to do many things, and there is still time to say many things, but sometimes they touch death before they can wait.
And what I can do is to express respect and care for the deceased in the last mile of life, hoping that a funeral without any regrets will comfort the living, and live better with fewer regrets.
On Ching Ming Festival, people worshipped their ancestors at the Laoshan Columbarium in Babaoshan, Beijing.
Photo by Tomita
Science and technology change the way of commemoration, and the fear of life remains unchanged
Death is a part of life, a natural state that everyone must face.
In recent years, Beijing funeral and interment institutions including Babaoshan funeral homes have held open days to allow more people to enter the funeral institutions, the funeral industry, and even enter the community, introduce the funeral policy of Huimin, and promote the funeral style that integrates green and technological elements. , Funerals, sacrificial methods, and life education.
On this year’s open day, Babaoshan Funeral Home launched a theme demonstration of "Flowers blooming, epidemics scattered, courtesy and clouds", integrating traditional culture into modern technology, and expanding the space artistic conception with technological giant screen projection, dynamic 3D HD scenes, and customization The 5D landscaping, through plot-style and scene-style expression, leads the relatives and friends of the deceased to remember their ancestors, worship their ancestors and homesick.
In the view of Jin Middle School, these have broken the existing constraints of space and are convenient for modern people to remember and commemorate, but what remains unchanged is the inheritance, sense of ritual, and solemnity of the memorial, and the same is the reverence, gaze and philosophy of life. think.
Jin Middle School reproduces the "Farewell Party" in his mind time and time again, hoping to explore life education and promote life culture in every funeral he undertakes, so that people can stand at the end of life to reflect on and organize their lives.
Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home held an open day for the public.
Photo by Tomita
Change career to enter the funeral industry: let goodbye decent
A funeral, a sacrifice, is to respect and respect the dead, to let the dead rest in peace and comfort the living.
Today, in the Babaoshan Funeral Home, Dong Ziyi, who was demobilized from the army in April 2009, is already a gold medal emcee and a funeral planner with a studio.
Dong Ziyi first dealt with "Death" 15 years ago, when he was serving in the army.
In the early winter of 2006, when Dong Ziyi was patrolling the mountains of Huludao, Liaoning, he found a white package, which turned out to be a breathless baby.
He felt sorry for the child, so he asked the company commander to bury the baby.
Dong Ziyi buried the baby, but he was a bit unwilling.
"This child has been here for a while, and there is always a trace left." He found a stone, engraved the date, and stood it on the child's grave.
It is for this reason that after demobilization, Dong Ziyi resolutely chose Babaoshan Funeral Home.
"I think this is predestined. I subconsciously feel that I should choose this profession." Dong Ziyi said, "After that, I changed my view of death. It is very important to say goodbye to this world."
Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home launched water-soluble sacrificial offerings.
Photo by Tomita
Over the years, he has studied humbly, studied hard, and worked hard to improve the level of service. He treated the deceased and the bereaved like a family member. With sincere and patient service, he hosted 2,000 farewell parties and received the families and guests of the deceased.10 Ten thousand person-times, and there has never been any service business error.
It is worth mentioning that more and more people are paying attention to death education and changing their views on funerals.
The former flight attendant Fan Mingxin, the former preschool teacher Han Yaru, and the newly demobilized lady Guan Tian Xintong...the youthful and young women joined the funeral and interment industry, striving to "sorrow his grief, pain his pain, and miss him." With his nostalgia and happiness, his happiness is given to the families of the deceased with the best understanding, support and help, which gives the industry more hope and color.
At present, Jin Middle School, Dong Ziyi and colleagues are thinking and exploring: How to extend the services of the funeral and interment industry, on the premise of people's willingness, can we "advance" planning the farewell ceremony, or even let the parties directly participate in the planning?
Can it help people who are dying to fulfill their long-cherished dreams in their lives?