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He painted a penis in the water, the captain of the "Ever Given" said the day after he tilted his 400-meter-long container ship in the Suez Canal, interrupted world trade and drove up the price of oil.
The pictures published by the tracking service Vesselfinder seemed to confirm it.
That was clearly a gigantic erection, plus a gigantic bum, probably the greatest dick pic of all time.
Of course, everyone is now smiling at the man who, in his boredom as a seafarer, had nothing else to think of but to paint a tail on the sea with his ship - as if that had been crazier than, for example, the Easter rest that was first announced and then withdrawn or the urgent proposal the AfD, the Berlin House of Representatives may decide that not Angela Merkel, but Jesus Christ conquers death.
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Of course, all Internet channels were clogged with “Ever Given” jokes within a few hours, the journalists were grateful for being able to chop out a few brisk sayings (first hard, then limp; first paint the penis, then into the tube), and the time diagnosticians pointed out how much the "Ever Given" accident could symbolize the human condition in the pandemic (small excavator vs. a ship of 200,000 tons).
At some point, however, when they have finally managed to free the container ship and his captain is back on land, he will almost certainly be asked by his shipping company what he was thinking.
He doesn't even need to try to say that it was a coincidence, just a few laps before entering the canal, and that Freud himself said that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Nobody will believe him.
Anyone who has once decided that a Dick Pic has appeared to them will never get rid of that conviction.
Unfortunately, humans are thick-skulls.