Tuesday in "Without appointment", on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc addresses the question of the use of sex toys within the couple.

How to talk about it?

Do we risk offending our partner if we express the desire to use it?

The psychoanalyst and sexologist gives some advice to the listeners. 

To spice up his married life, a listener from Europe 1 hesitates to suggest to his partner to use a sex toy.

Only here, he does not know how to go about it.

For example, does he risk offending her?

How do you find the right words to talk to him about it?

The sex therapist Catherine Blanc gives him some advice on Tuesday on the Europe 1 program "Sans Rendez-vous", and invites him to ask himself at the same time where this idea comes from.

Jean-François' question

I want to spice up my life as a couple.

For that, I would like to suggest that my wife try out sex toys together.

How to talk to him about it?

Will she think I want to replace her?

Catherine Blanc's response 

What is interesting is that Jean-François directly thinks that his wife could imagine that he wants to replace her.

It is as if he wanted to replace her but actually suppressed her desire.

As if he wanted to go see another woman but, since that is not possible, he wants to try something else.

>> Find sex questions every day at 3:50 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

Obviously, he is in conflict with himself.

He wants to spice things up, but it is perhaps simply because he has fantasized about an elsewhere and another.

And failing to want to screw everything up, he says to himself that he could bring sex toys into the eroticism that he shares with his companion.

But for him, the mere fact of talking about it already suggests that he went to look for the idea elsewhere, in pornography for example, in a discussion with friends or perhaps even with a mistress.

Often, what prevents us from talking about it is that we fear that the other is wondering where we came from this idea. 

Talk about it upstream rather than giving it a surprise 

As for the modesty he feels, it is not surprising: we do not have to find it normal to use sex toys.

To talk to him serenely, Jean-François can, for example, bet on humor, which has more than ever its place in sexuality.

Our fantasies are funny sometimes, so we might as well take them that way.

We can simply say: "We often hear about it, and if we too were having fun?"

This gives a bit of naivety to approach the subject of gadgetized eroticization.

We must not forget that there are sex toys of all kinds, more or less elaborate.

What you should just avoid is buying things to surprise the other, as this can be frowned upon.

Better to agree on size, shape, color before purchasing.

And maybe we won't even buy it at the end because just laughing about it will already have everything eroticized.

Or maybe we'll make our dildo out of something we already have at home.