This Monday in "Sans Rendez-vous", the health program of Europe 1, the sex therapist Catherine Blanc explains how to overcome her complexes when they disturb our sexual relations.

She thus responds to Lucie who can only make love in the dark and fears that this will harm her relationship. 

Many people are uncomfortable with their bodies.

For some, this leads to difficulty having sex.

This can lead to putting in place mechanisms, such as turning off the lights, in order to hide.

While the dim light can often go hand in hand with the sexual act, the darkness can confuse the partner.

Monday, at the microphone of 

Sans Rendez-Vous

, the health program of Europe 1, the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc answers Lucie, a listener who fears that her boyfriend will abandon her because of her complexes.

Lucie's question

"I'm a very self-conscious person, even with my boyfriend in bed. If we don't have sex in the dark, I'm completely blocked. How can I face my shyness and my sexual complexes to avoid scare my boyfriend away? "

Catherine Blanc's response

“Lowering the light allows us to be more easily in contact with our emotions and our fantasies. It forces us to go intuitively to seek the other, rather than being confronted with the rawness of their gaze and our gaze on ourselves. What scares us in sexuality, and moreover with someone we meet for the first time, is knowing what he will think of us.

Depending on the degree of confidence we have in ourselves, it is more or less easy to accept the gaze of the other.

What we don't like about the other is our own gaze projected on him.

We turn off the lights to try to get away from the cruelty in our eyes.

Is it common to have sex in the open?

The fantasies of some can quite accommodate the spotlight.

But it is true that the light, if only a little subdued and soft - which does not in any way prevent us from seeing since our eyes are accustomed to the dark - is caressing and rather flattering for the realization of our fantasies and our antics.

>> Find sex questions every day at 3:50 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

If we considered that the goal is to find ourselves in full light, that would promote a pornographic vision.

Seeing the bodies in a photographic way, with close-ups, can feed the fantasy of some, precisely educated by pornography.

But otherwise, eroticism goes better with a part of fantasy that will be able to be carried by the fact of not seeing everything and therefore more imagining.

When it is the complexes which dictate these decisions, how to react? 

It is a mistake to think that only the eyes are watching.

The hands will feel the body and discover it.

In addition, being too much in the dark will potentially lead to indelicate movements.

We put ourselves in a situation where we cannot see what the other person is like.

But there is not only the fear of the body, there is also the fear of the grimace, because when one enjoys, one does not know the face which one makes and one is afraid to have a ridiculous face.

So everyone tries to make a character for themselves.

The advantage of a little soft light or black is that you are less concerned with this kind of thing.

How do you prevent these complexes from damaging a relationship? 

Since she is aware of her complexes, this is a topic for her, but she should not do it on behalf of her partner.

It is not he who makes the law.

Otherwise we fall back into the image of the partner accustomed to pornography who is waiting to find all the codes that made him grow and which limited him.

So, she has to work on herself for more peace and security in order to blossom and find herself beautiful in front of the mirror, to love herself with her faults.

Whether she is too thin, too fat cellulite or with stretch marks.

If that was an unwanted factor, there would be a lot of women out there and there isn't. "