In the program "Sans Rendez-Vous" on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc answers Sylvain, who wonders about the difficulties of communication with his companion.

Each time he tries to broach a serious subject about his relationship with his partner, the latter puts in effect on humor and can thus kick in touch.

Why do some people prefer to turn serious topics on the tone of humor rather than confront them?

How to succeed in finally having a discussion with your partner when this one always takes refuge behind the laughter?

Sylvain, who is having communication difficulties with his companion, wonders.

In "Sans Rendez-Vous", on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc, sexologist, answers him.

It translates in particular this behavior by a will to flee but especially by the expression of a discomfort in the other, which must be remedied.

>> Find sex questions every day at 3:50 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

Sylvain's question

"I realize that every time I try to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend, he makes jokes and tries to make me laugh. We never manage to discuss our relationship, what is wrong with each other. me. Why is he reacting like that? "

Catherine Blanc's response

"Having difficulty communicating is extremely common. And humor is a good way to communicate serious things. Through humor we can convey information, but it is also an opportunity to avoid communication. and to devalue the importance for the other that the fact of exchanging on specific subjects represents. According to the couples, some will prefer the silence, will not answer or will nod of the head. And then they will flee the conversation. has a kind of lightness with laughter. And suddenly, we put lightness where there is none, and where in front there is concern. And indeed, the position of this young man is to make everything anecdotal, while it is not for his partner.

The expression of unease 

We will sometimes run away because we are not able to confront ourselves, we are not able to question ourselves or even to be questioned.

So we use humor because we know it works, and it allows us to regain power since we make the other laugh.

So if we identify that it is either by difficulty to broach the subject, to be questioned or that there is a discomfort, we should perhaps start by saying: 'I think this is something which is difficult for you, I understand that, but I wish you could at least hear me, if not answer me.

At least listen to me and don't make a joke of it. '

Otherwise it ultimately becomes a dull anger and too much frustration for those who cannot express themselves.

It's a bit of a nervous laugh, which we also find in sexuality.

Some women especially, as soon as they are touched, start to giggle, to laugh, when in fact, they do not know very well what to do.

Difficult to talk about sexuality

One can indeed be uncomfortable, even on the question of sexuality.

Couples find it difficult to talk about their sexuality, because it is entering into emotions and not simply into the practice of sexuality itself.

Say: 'You know that, I don't like that too much'.

Or: 'That, I don't like, it makes me suffer'.

Well, these are very difficult conversations to have.

It is often much more intimate to talk about your emotions than to reveal our sexes and act of our sexes.

This is undoubtedly where we are most in difficulty.

And often, our physical sexuality sins by difficulty in expressing or being free of our emotions.

We also often have trouble moving the cursor to put things more in line with what we are or what we become.

Because obviously, all of this evolves over the years and therefore each time we have to put our relationship a little bit back on the agenda, so express ourselves a little bit.

So jokes are good, but on condition that it doesn't silence and that doesn't muzzle relationships. "