Friday, in "Without appointment", the sexologist Catherine Blanc answered the question of Valentine, who wonders why her companion refuses to stop wearing a condom during their sexual intercourse.

For our specialist, it is important to respect the choice of his spouse.

Is there a good time to stop using condoms in a relationship?

If, at the beginning of a romantic relationship, sexual intercourse is most often done with this method of contraception, to avoid an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection, many couples stop using it after a few months.

This is what Valentine, a listener from Europe 1, would like, but her companion refuses to stop protecting himself.

A refusal that troubles Valentine, who wonders about the motivations of her spouse.

Friday, in Sans rendez-vous, the sex therapist Catherine Blanc tried to provide him with some avenues for reflection.

Valentine's question 

When we have sex, my boyfriend doesn't want us to take the condom off when we've been together for eight months already and both got tested.

Why does he refuse to make love without protection? 

Catherine Blanc's response 

There is not only the risk of contamination.

There is also the risk of having a baby.

So even if Valentine would take the pill, her companion is not in control of the situation, and of his potential oversights.

A man can feel very engaged in love, but not at all ready to face a possible pregnancy, a possible fatherhood, and he needs to be in this security provided by the condom. 

Moreover, depending on which point of view we take, we do not see things from the same angle.

One can imagine that it is a man who, having other adventures, is careful not to be contaminating for both.

But there can be other reasons as well.

There are men who have anxiety about the notion of mixing fluids.

Just because you're emotionally engaged doesn't mean you're ready to share everything.

And ejaculating in a woman's vagina can also be a source of anxiety for a man.

Sexuality is not just a practical matter.

It is really an emotional story where a lot of things come together that sometimes even escape the consciousness of the person himself.

But can't agreeing to remove your condom be proof of love?

The proof of love is not to put yourself in danger if you see a danger in it, whatever it is.

A woman who would push a man to take off his condom while he is perhaps protecting her, and cannot take it off because he would be between two waters for the moment, and he who would accept to show her that he love even if it means making her insecure, that would be rubbish.

For many couples, stopping the condom is a step, right? 

Yes, but again, there is a lot of privacy.

And maybe having a condom is a way for this man to protect himself a little from this sharing of intimacy which can be psychically uncomfortable.