Betrothal style? "The bride price is crazy"
As the saying goes: a male university should be married, and a female university should be married.
During the Spring Festival, when marriage activities in rural areas are the most concentrated, young working people from all over the world have returned to their hometowns for the New Year, and their parents have also been involved in blind dates and engagements.
Although these activities have been subject to certain restrictions due to the impact of the new crown pneumonia epidemic in the past two years, Yun blind dates and Yun engagements have become popular.
Especially engagement, although the number and scale of participants are limited, it is still booming.
The bride price, also known as the engagement gift, the dowry, and the hire of money, is one of the ancient wedding customs.
Take the Lunan area as an example. In the past, young men and women were engaged in a "passage" ceremony, usually divided into small and big ones. The procedure was quite complicated, and it was simplified a lot later, but the bridegroom was given to the woman by the man. Not only does it not diminish, but more and more, more and more particular.
In the early years, the life in the countryside was hard, and the bride price was "three turns and one ring", that is, bicycles, watches, sewing machines and radio tape recorders.
Later it became popular in three major items: TV sets, refrigerators, and washing machines.
In recent years, it has become "three golds and one silver" plus "one smoke." Three golds and one silver refer to gold necklaces, gold rings, gold bracelets and silver bracelets, and one smoke refers to motorcycles.
Nowadays, rural incomes are getting higher and higher, life is getting richer, and the tide is rising. This engagement gift has also changed, and it has become a heavy burden.
Let me talk about the most basic ones first.
First, the gift money.
This is a meeting gift that must be given to the woman at the engagement ceremony. It can be as small as sixty-six thousand and it means "sixty-six-sixty-six". The average person is one hundred and one thousand and one. This "one" is a silver dollar, which means one out of 100,000.
Rich people give hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars.
Generally, bank cards are given as gifts, and some are delivered in a high-end suitcase.
Second, the car.
Most of them are ordinary, and there are also luxury cars.
Third, the four golds-gold necklace, gold bracelet, gold earrings and diamond ring, these four must be available, with different weights, textures and prices.
Fourth, clothing.
This is also not fixed. It depends on the family's financial situation. Generally, the man's parents give a certain amount of cash, which is chosen by the two.
Let's talk about the house, which is the most important item.
Before getting engaged, the housing issue is the first priority, and the house will not be negotiated if the house is not finalized.
Therefore, some people have to publish the real estate certificate or purchase contract at the engagement ceremony.
This is divided into several situations: one is living with parents.
This type is the most cost-saving and worry-free, and it is also more open for women, saving a considerable amount of expenditure.
The second is to build houses in the village where they live.
This is relatively objective and realistic, but the standards for building houses are different, and even building a house with decoration requires at least four to five million yuan.
The third is to buy a house in the city.
Young people nowadays disdain to live in rural areas and tend to buy houses in county towns.
Generally, a commercial loan is required with a down payment of about 200,000 yuan. The most terrible condition is a one-time payment in full, which cannot be taken without a million yuan.
It is better if the family is an only child. If there are two or three boys in the family, it is simply overwhelmed.
Rural engagement wedding gifts have become a rock, weighing heavily on the backs of farmers.
There are many factors that cause this situation, and there are four main factors in a comprehensive analysis.
One is the stereotypes and bad habits that cannot be wiped away.
This kind of atmosphere is very common nowadays. In some places, families living in a radius of tens of miles are like this. When you go to the countryside and follow the trend, no one wants to break the rules.
The second is the inescapable mutual comparison.
Seeking truth from facts, in recent years, farmers have relied on the good policies of the party, scientific management, and work and business. Their days have become more and more prosperous. They have surplus money in their hands. In the end, the steadily climbing, causing the phenomenon of standing high and overwhelmed.
The third is for fear of not finding a good wife.
I am afraid that my children will get older and cannot find a good girl. It seems that the more I give, the better the conditions, and the better I find, the stronger the relationship.
The third is the woman's lion's open mouth.
Some young women have increased their demands, especially those with many brothers in the man’s family, in order to get more property.
Fourth, young people seek comfort and enjoyment, regardless of their home conditions.
Some young people are not enterprising in their bones, fantasizing about getting it forever, and being affected by bad habits, they admire high consumption and advanced consumption, which increases the burden on their parents.
The rural bridesmaid wind has become more and more intense, and has even evolved into "expensive bridesmaids" and "beautiful gifts crazy". The phenomenon of "difficulty finding a daughter-in-law" and "unable to get married" has appeared in the new era, resulting in the practical problems of borrowing to get engaged and returning to poverty due to marriage.
Therefore, the stereotyped bad habit of high-priced gifts should be resolutely discarded.
On the one hand, it is necessary to promote the new style of marriage and childbirth in the whole society, advocate simple marriage affairs, carry out marriage customs reform, change customs, and incorporate village rules and folk agreements, so that the bride price will return to rationality.
On the other hand, it is necessary to educate young people to establish a correct outlook on life and marriage, not to be greedy for immediate benefits, not to burden their parents with heavy burdens, to rely on their own qualities and abilities, to use hard-working hands and ingenuity to create a new and beautiful life of their own.
Liu Qirui Source: China Youth Daily