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What is love? And why does it sometimes happen to us under difficult circumstances? In war on different sides, separated from religion or radical regimes, foreign and personal reservations or fear: We tell of couples who came together against resistance - and stayed together. Our third love story is about
Bodo and Karl, who fell in love in the 80s.
Almost four decades later, they were able to officially record this love on paper.
This is their story.
They met at a flat share party.
It was 1979 in West Berlin.
Bodo Mende and Karl Kreile, two men who like men, one studied sociology, the other psychology.
They sat on a sofa and talked about politics.
They didn't know then that they had found the love of their life.
They met again, gave each other birthday presents.
Bodo baked Karl a cheesecake, although he had never baked a cheesecake before.
Karl crocheted a pot holder with the number "23" when Bodo was 23 years old.
They didn't have to talk about whether they wanted to become a couple.
It was clear.
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They went for a walk on the Havelchaussee, sat next to each other on the bank.
Bodo felt safe with Karl and Karl with Bodo.
They had a lot in common, but what they had in common was their political convictions.
West Berlin was an exciting, charged city.
The student movement no longer existed, but the doors it had pushed open were still open.
Some took to the streets for the emancipation of women, others for peace or the environment.
Bodo and Karl fought for the rights of gays and lesbians.
Love stories:
Until 1969 homosexuality was a criminal offense in the Federal Republic.
Even now, ten years later, society was far from accepting people like her.
When they walked through the city as a small group on Christopher Street Day, people stood on the side of the road and whispered: “It's okay that they are like that, but do you have to show it publicly?” Homosexuality, say Bodo and Karl today, was tolerated, not more.
They got involved in the emerging gay and lesbian movement, in association boards and working groups.
During the holidays they traveled through Europe, a different country every summer.
After graduation, both civil servants, Bodo in the higher, Karl in the higher service.
They would have liked to get married, but they knew it couldn't.
Marriage, so the law saw it, was a covenant between a man and a woman.
It was one of many ways they felt discriminated against, and it became the most important.
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The SVD, the gay association in Germany, made the marriage question a political project.
Bodo was the speaker there, he and his colleagues wondered how they could draw attention to the topic.
Hardly anyone would attend a press conference, and a demonstration would be quickly forgotten.
But what if gays and lesbians all over Germany stormed the registry offices in protest and ordered the contest?
All on the same day, at the same time?
They set a date, telephoned friends, who in turn called their friends.
The group of activists grew like a snowball.
In August 1992 - they had been a couple for 13 years - Bodo and Karl went to the registry office, ready for a wedding that they knew would not take place.
They handed in the completed application and copies of their birth certificates.
The registrar, they remember today, reacted benevolently.
“I would like to,” she said, “but I'm not allowed to” - that's how they tell it today.
Their application was denied, as were all other homosexuals.
Around 250 couples in 100 communities took part in the campaign, and in the evening the “Tagesschau” reported on it.
Then they knew, say Bodo and Karl today, that they would one day win the fight.
Life went on.
They flew to the USA, walked around New York and saw the Grand Canyon.
In Berlin they went on bike tours.
Each of her friends knew they were a couple, only on paper they weren't.
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In the summer of 2001 the Law on Civil Partnerships came into force.
For the first time, gays and lesbians could legally register a relationship.
It wasn't the big reform Bodo and Karl had hoped for.
They were still not on an equal footing.
The partnership did not provide for a common right of adoption, many tax advantages had to be fought for in court.
But they thought it was a good move.
Not only did they change, the world became different too
In 2002 - they had been a couple for 23 years - they went to the registry office again.
This time they were not turned away.
They registered a civil partnership and that evening they invited their friends and colleagues to a big party.
Homosexuals and heterosexuals came to celebrate what Bodo and Karl called their wedding, although it was still not legally a wedding.
In the next few years they traveled to Argentina and Brazil, got involved in "Vorspiel", a sports club for gays and lesbians.
Karl got a coaching license, and because everything is nicer together, Bodo got one too.
They got older.
Bodo got gray hair, Karl a higher forehead.
Ever since they entered into the partnership, they have said "my husband" when they talked about each other.
Not only did they change, the world became different too.
Homosexuality was now taking place in public, there were openly gay and lesbian celebrities.
Then everything happened very quickly.
In the summer of 2017, the magazine “Brigitte” invited Chancellor Angela Merkel to a discussion.
A viewer asked her about marriage for homosexuals, and Merkel replied with an awkward but decisive sentence in which she spoke of a "decision of conscience".
This cleared the way for a vote without group pressure.
Just four days later, the Bundestag decided marriage for everyone.
"I hereby declare you to be a lawfully affiliated spouse"
On October 1, 2017 - they had been a couple for 38 years - Bodo and Karl went to the Berlin-Schöneberg registry office.
It was a sunday.
Under normal circumstances the office would have remained closed, but because the new law came into effect on that day, the circumstances were far from normal.
More than 100 guests gathered in the hall and just as many journalists.
Bodo and Karl walked down the aisle to the wedding table, they wept with happiness.
On the table was the certificate, register number E 1373/2017, marriage according to § 17a PStG with an existing civil partnership.
You said “Yes, I do”, and the registrar said: “I hereby declare you to be a legally connected couple.” Bodo was 60, Karl 59 years old.
They kissed for minutes in the flash of flashlights.
In the press they were celebrated as Germany's first gay couple, even if it was later said that two men from North Rhine-Westphalia could have been a few minutes earlier.
But it does not matter.
The only important thing is that they have been husband and husband since then, officially.
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Source: WORLD
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