This year witnessed "others are hell"
Also experiencing "others are heaven"
Six ordinary fragments
Text/Wang Xiaoni
Issued in the 984th issue of China News Weekly on February 28, 2021
If we use an image to describe 2020, this will be a person wearing protective clothing who is constantly approaching.
He is just a big ball of white, even his eyes are hidden behind the goggles, it is impossible to recognize who this is, he can't feel his smell and temperature, only knows that this is exactly the same person as us.
This year is so close, making everything extremely unusual.
Everyone’s lives are affected, travel is restricted, there are fewer places to go, and fewer people want to see. The explosive transmission of online information makes us extremely sensitive and vulnerable, paying special attention to major events and paying special attention to our surroundings. Inconspicuous little things.
In February, father and son holding express
It was rainy and cold that day, and they passed by my balcony.
It was precisely when the epidemic broke out that the newly-recovered express delivery could not enter the community, and could only set up a spot on the street. Picking up express delivery became a very important matter.
It may be too quiet around, it seems that the noise of these two people walking by is loud, first is the sound of treading water.
The father was in his thirties, holding a large cardboard box, and the child was three or four years old, holding a small cardboard box. The two walked neatly one after the other, and the father shouted the password behind.
The child in front was very short, and the cardboard box standing in front of him looked very big. It seemed that the father and son were playing some game, excited, and soon turned invisible.
The rain was not heavy, just wet the hair and shoulders.
Originally, the rain was nothing, and the weight of the carton was nothing. But this is an extraordinary period. Thinking about the father and son, they are suddenly very sad. It seems that the more they seem to be innocent, the more sad. The Italian film "A Beautiful Life" surface Isn't it also a game?
In February, three epidemics occurred within three kilometers of my community, which can be found by turning on the mobile phone.
The looming epidemic makes people fragile, especially unable to withstand incidents. No one dares to say that they are safe.
In case of infection, whether it is the father or the child, they are still in the mood to shout a password to play games. The father must throw away the cardboard box and hold his child tightly. In front of the separation of flesh and blood, the express delivery will be nothing.
In those days, I spent more time on the balcony than usual. I found the first person wearing white protective clothing in the community. The person appeared on time every day and raised the electric horn to broadcast to the "citizen friends". He is the people and voices of the first ten days.
In March, the meat stall brother
Starting in early February, I go to the supermarket once every three days, usually at 11 o'clock in the morning.
At that time, everyone was so depressed. One or two people who were rarely seen on the road were walking hurriedly. They might want to fight insecurities in a hurry.
There was a delay of 20 minutes at the entrance of the supermarket that day. The temperature measuring gun failed. After a few consecutive tests, several people showed fever, and they were blocked by the entrance.
The security guard said that the amount of walking was too fast, and the cool breeze was blowing for a while before testing.
As a result, no one in the supermarket, five or six people were outside the heat dissipation.
Finally, the body temperature was normal, and I ran into a good-minded brother at the supermarket meat stall.
He is a big man, wearing a long apron that looks a bit stiff.
Ask him if he can twist the stuffing.
He said yes.
Through the mask, he can feel him smiling. When I see a customer, I want to talk a little more.
I said to help wash it up.
He said that there was no problem, and then he said that the water is not good, it is better if it is not washed, and they are very clean. They are all newly opened in the morning.
Ask him to sell one piece a day?
He said two ends.
Unexpectedly, the supermarket is not a big one, there are not many people, and the meat is sold a lot.
He reminded me: It’s better to come early, and my meat is hot early.
He said that he lifted a large piece of meat, slapped it hard, and slapped it loudly, especially like a happy fat man showing off his flesh to an under-feeding person.
I bought the meat and I was in a good mood.
May, the vegetable market
I woke up at 7 o'clock that day, it was the best time to go shopping so early, before the sun rose.
Rarely get up early, I didn't expect the small market to be so lively, it seems that this place has returned to normal first.
In addition to meat dishes, everything that can be placed is displayed, selling kitchen knives, cockroach and ant medicine, sand shrimp and crabs, and pumpkin seedlings and pepper seedlings.
The small market is in the village in the city, and there are little wet alleys between more than a dozen floors of buildings. There is not much sunshine every day.
Since late January, all the import and export of the Nengtong vegetable market have been closed, and people met on the road, and they hurriedly avoided each other.
By the end of March, there were vendors swimming around there.
Not doing business, what do they eat, how to raise children, how to pay rent.
The morning sun shines into the whole alley, everyone is beautiful and pleasant, just because they can huddle together again.
The meat-selling masks are on the chin with cigarettes dangling, the fish-sellers slurping water for Jincang, and the rice noodles, fish balls, steamed buns and tofu are all faces that have been familiar for years, and they can be recognized even when wearing a mask.
The Hunan aunt who often buys her eggs calls the boss’s wife from afar, and she calls the boss when she sees a man.
Hubei vegetable shop is also open, and his parsley and red cabbage moss are very tender.
Someone asked: I have been in my hometown for a long time this time.
The boss said: I came back early, I will be back in March, and I stayed in the rental house for two months.
A few months ago, he pulled a large isolation cloth outside the store, and then someone dug a hole in the cloth and hid behind it to sell tofu from the entrance of the hole.
The mother-in-law who peeled beans in the evening I wrote was also there. She and her wife set up two different stalls under the cart. They still greeted me as soon as they saw me, saying that today’s white eggplant is good, someone else brought it over and grew it. No medicine.
I said: I can't eat it.
She said: delicious and very powdery.
Every time I met, I would buy her something.
Her stroller was still the same, several mother-in-laws gathered around, two were helping her peel peas, one was chatting with her, and the child sleeping in the stroller next to the stroller was her grandson.
I have been buying her vegetables for several years, and only this morning discovered that she has a severely disabled leg.
Two men sat under the umbrellas at the market outlet. They were not in uniforms. They were obviously in charge of the market and smoked.
Everything is slowly recovering, but what is different, I can feel it, and suddenly can't tell.
The morning when I met each other again in the small alley was very pleasant. It turned out that everyone was fine and survived. It seemed that there was nothing that could not be carried, and I was able to pick vegetables and meat finely around, and figure out what to eat this day. .
Try it, buy some, eat something fresh, mutation and unexpected reunion suddenly turned everyone in this morning into relatives.
The most healing thing is the Chinese vegetable market.
On the way home, I met an aunt who often came to collect old books. I said in passing: You are back, your hometown is in Hubei.
She corrected me immediately: No, it was from Hunan.
I clearly remember that she is from Hubei and her two children are both boys in college.
Perhaps the most not mentioned at this time is Hubei.
In May, a text message from an unknown number
I sent a text message from an unknown number: Sister Wang, hello, I am a taxi driver in Yanchi County, Ningxia Hui Autonomous Region. I haven't seen you for many years. How are you?
I immediately remembered who he was, and immediately replied: After so many years, you are all well and I am all well.
I wish you a happy, healthy and healthy.
He said: Hello, sister Wang, hello, good people are safe in their lives!
I said: take care!
If you go to Yanchi again, take your car.
He said: Thank you Sister Wang, but I am now at home to concentrate on leading my grandson.
Reply to him: How great, if you go again, I will definitely invite you and your family to dinner.
He said: Welcome Sister Wang to Yanchi.
In the spring of 2006, I went to see a friend in Yanchi, Ningxia. I accidentally rode in his car in the county seat. After two days, I went to see Yandi and asked him in his car again.
It was windy that day and the sky was turning yellow. When I headed out of the county seat in the direction of Shaanxi, I soon disappeared from the crowds. The wild beaches are full of people, and a section of the Great Wall appears occasionally, which is said to be the Great Wall of Sui.
Near noon, there was a figure in the distance waving a hand to stop the car, and when she approached, he saw the car stopper holding a red cotton quilt, a short girl, and said that he would take the baby back to her husband's house.
Let her get in the car, the girl took off the quilt in her arms, and let us see her little baby who was a few months old.
When asked how old she was, she cried and said that it was twenty-two. The other day, she quarreled with her mother-in-law and took the child back to her natal house.
Send the girl holding the doll to the nearby bus stop, where you can get back to her mother-in-law's house.
She asked me to call and say that I will be relatives from now on.
At this time, the driver's master said: "How can you confess your relatives indiscriminately as your baby? Your aunt still has something to do. Sending you here has missed your aunt."
I wrote about this encounter. I didn't expect that after 14 years, this taxi driver in the northwestern part of China would find me and ask me about my safety.
On the day I saw Yanchi, I heard him say that he had been stationed in Danshui, Huizhou, Guangdong with his unit to do business. Later, the company withdrew to Ningxia, and he was laid off and drove a taxi.
He said that he likes the southern sea. In those years, he took his family to the top-level revolving restaurant of Shenzhen Guoshang to eat morning tea. He was worried about the high consumption and did not dare to order food. When he checked out, he knew that the minimum consumption had not reached 48 yuan per person.
He sighed that he had stayed in the south during his good time. When he returned to the northwest, he never saw anyone from the south, and he saw it as if he had met relatives.
I don’t know how he found the number I had changed in May of 2020. I don’t know if he has the opportunity to come to the South to see the sea again.
In July, I went to see the sea with my classmates
Student P came to Shenzhen on a business trip from Guangzhou and said that he wanted to see me by the way. Looking at the line of characters she sent, I felt that when I met her, I couldn’t just have a meal and talk. We had to go to see the sea together. This idea was especially strong when I jumped out. .
Our university is by the sea. After graduation, all the students are reluctant to talk about the sea. In this special year of 2020, no matter how hot or sunny, you must go to the beach with P, otherwise I’m sorry that we will experience it together. of.
Meet at the exit of the community.
She said we haven't seen each other in six years.
Oh, it's been so long, it doesn't seem to feel.
In the sunny summer days in Shenzhen, she was particularly exposed to the sun, and she wore a sun-shading hat, but she said that she didn't need it.
Originally planning to take the winding mountain road, I did not expect the road to be repaired, and was forced to return to the high-speed road halfway through.
This section of Panshan Road has the best scenery. It turns completely along the coastline. When I first arrived in Shenzhen more than 30 years ago, the Panshan Road to the east coast was the only way to go. At that time, I was about the same age as my current P, just 30 years old.
The number of people visiting the sea in 2020 is the most in recent years. The beaches were closed in early April. Many hotels were closed at that time.
Come back in May to brush your health code to get to the beach.
July is much more relaxed, and there are almost no visitors after several visits.
The beach is hot, but the sky is blue. There are big clouds running in the sky. P goes to jump against the waves, and we laugh hard.
Later, sitting on the hot sand, moving the picnic mat to hide from the sun with the light and shadow under the tree, more often we were in a daze, watching the waves of the sea, and thinking about things that were far away from reality for a while.
It was a very hot, cheerful and simple day, with nothing to say, no mention of the past, no mention of the future, was it just a brainstorm to see the sea? It was very simple.
P is the first friend to travel together in 2020, and also the first student to meet in more than half a year since a few Haida students came to the house together on Christmas in 2019.
August, the first meeting
On Sunday, three classmates working in Shenzhen said they wanted to see me. It sounded like an understatement, saying that J was going back to Sichuan, so he came and said goodbye.
This is the first time in 2020 that someone has visited the house.
It was agreed to arrive at 11 noon, but they all went the wrong way, holding a heavy watermelon. On such a hot day, the two groups waited together before entering the door together.
They like to eat the dumplings I made, and they agreed to make them together in advance. The leeks are grown by themselves. They are really organic vegetables.
They have never seen such fine leeks. It can be seen that they usually eat broad-leaved leeks and are urged by chemical fertilizers.
A few of them, some enrolled in 2006, some in 2010, and the latest of them have known each other for ten years. They are all old friends.
After graduation these years, they are not very good at cooking and clumsy, but they have an excellent attitude and work together.
When they were in class at the university, they also called them to eat at home. At that time, they only had to eat or not, and there was no work in their eyes. Now it's different. Life is the toughest teacher.
No one can escape three meals a day, and they are slowly accumulating their own different stories, especially in 2020.
They said that it is impossible to buy a house in Shenzhen.
Freelance D said that he only did one job this year, and there was nothing he could do in a hurry.
And J is about to leave. This is the second time that she has been seconded by a superior company in Shenzhen. It is always impossible to just borrow. It may not be easy to come back this time.
Y said that she couldn't stay any longer, so she went to Dongguan. She said it was a bit tragic. Everyone hurriedly persuaded her that there would be no way to stay, but who knows.
I also said that a classmate who didn't come today is about to get married, and the banquet is about to be set up.
It was also mentioned that a university teacher warned students not to be exquisite egoists at the graduation ceremony.
Y rushed to wash the dishes. The sound of water and dishes came from the kitchen. We continued to laugh and talk until the sky turned dark, as if we still couldn't bear to leave. They wanted to accompany me for a while.
Today is January 11th, 2021. This record has the first draft, and I feel that there is nothing left to say. This year, I have witnessed "others are hell" and experienced "others are heaven".
The six fragments above are all from usual notes.
When I was a child, I was repeatedly admonished: writing on paper is equivalent to putting myself in an unsafe situation.
However, after so many years, the habit of recording casually has not been changed. Otherwise, many fleeting details will be forgotten, and eventually may disappear cleanly. We may lose a trustworthy past, so this habit is also good.
On January 11, the sun is good today.
The sun is really good. It shines on everyone and makes people feel warm. No matter who you are, whether you are sick or not, whether you have done good things, or have done bad things, everyone is the same.
(The author is a poet and writer, and his masterpieces are "Class Notes", "Human Birds Flying Low", "My Fire is Wrapped in My Paper", etc.)
"China News Weekly" Issue 6, 2021
Statement: The publication of "China News Weekly" manuscript is authorized in writing