In the show "Sans Rendez-vous", Friday afternoon, on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc responds to Charlotte, whose new perfume from her husband reminds her of the scent of her first love.
The psychoanalyst and sexologist in Paris gives her the keys to effectively analyze what she feels and feels.
A few notes of bergamot, cedar or vetiver can be enough to provoke in a man or a woman the sweet memory of a past relationship.
This is the case of Charlotte, a listener from Europe 1, who finds in her husband's new perfume the rediscovered scent of her first love.
Should she open up to the one whose life she shares today?
Friday afternoon, in
Sans Rendez-vous
, on Europe 1, sex therapist Catherine Blanc helps her to better understand what this means and how to react to this unsettling feeling.
Charlotte's question
My husband has changed his perfume.
Every time I kiss her it reminds me of my first love in college.
Every morning I have a thought for this man.
Do you think I can tell my husband about it?
Catherine Blanc's response
What is interesting is that there are smells that we recognize because we have experienced emotions.
She may have smelled lots of perfumes from her boyfriends from one time or another, except that she does not remember it.
This reminds her of her first love.
Maybe because it was him but maybe also because it was his first impulse, full of emotional charge.
Does she have to blame herself for feeling this?
Do you have to say it?
The real question is, does he like having this thought for his personal story?
Why could we think of sweet moments when we are children in our parents' arms and not of a first love which was a moment of great awakening?
What impact can this memory have on his relationship?
Other questions also arise.
Does that pose a problem for him?
She doesn't have to blame herself for thinking of another man.
Does she blame herself?
Does that turn her away from her husband?
Does that prevent her, because she feels this other man, from having an emotional charge for her husband?
If we smell a scent that makes us think of someone else, including something delicious, and it distracts us from where we are, just say 'this scent, I love it, but it reminds me of another story '.
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There are perfumes, on the contrary, which horrify us and it looks like it.
The question really is whether it bothers her relationship and the quality of her relationship with her husband.
If that doesn't bother the quality of her relationship and it feeds her erotic or romantic impulses, where is the concern?
How is she situated in relation to her memories?
If it was disturbing, because even if it's delicious, it prevents her from wanting her husband because it disconnects her from him, there, it seems important to me that she tell him that it's delicious, but that don't send it back to him.
So he might be happy to change his scent.
We don't have to give the real reason why we would like the other to change their scent.
'I find that this perfume does not suit you well', may be sufficient, for example.