In the show "Sans rendez-vous" Thursday on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc responds to a listener, Pascale, who calls herself "rather feminist" in her daily life.
However, Pascale confides in enjoying having sex with a "macho".
She wonders how this is possible and wishes to have the point of view of the sex therapist.
Do our tastes in matters of sexuality have to match our ideals?
In the program
Sans rendez-vous
Thursday on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc answers the question of a listener, Pascale, who calls herself a feminist but likes to make love with a "macho", according to her words.
Pascale wonders how this is possible after a conversation with her friends.
Pascale's question
"The other night, I had a debate with my girlfriends and I would like to have your point of view. I'm more of a feminist in soul and in life but in bed I like to make love with a macho . How is it possible ?"
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Catherine Blanc's response
“Cherished freedom. Fortunately, there is room for everyone in this society. What is very interesting about Pascale is that she is really in a feminist position, therefore with a real affirmation and real feminist values. It is her clear and thoughtful position, but she observes that in her private life, she is rather attracted and excited by another relational posture between man and woman.
It is all the richness of the human being: his own ambivalence.
Besides, one can wonder what makes me defend a point of view, while something else lies dormant in me which is a possible source of excitement.
In the same way, one can be very excited by forbidden things while having respect for the laws elsewhere.
There is always in us a kind of tension between the reasonable and the instinctual which is a little wild, outlawed.
Without doubt, the more our drive is outlaw, the more we are in the law in our consciousness.
For Pascale, perhaps the more she is drawn to something of the order of the dominant macho in her caricature, the more her reflection tries to counter this kind of instinctual impulse.
Suddenly, she is perhaps more feminist than her neighbor would be, for example.
>> Find all of Sans rendez-vous in replay and podcast here
What is a "macho" man in bed?
I don't know because I think what's interesting is to think in relation to the person asking the question.
What is interesting is that she says she is a feminist, therefore defending the feminine against a so-called male domination.
What I hear about what machismo would be for her is male domination.
The more she is aroused in the desire to be sexually dominated, the more, in her reasoning, it comes to reveal too much of her fantasy and she needs to take exactly the opposite part to compensate for her almost unavowable excitement, precisely, to be dominated in part of his erotic intimacy.
Do we have the right to be attracted to our strict opposite?
Yes of course.
Moreover, we were recently talking about words that are evoked in sexuality.
For example, when a person resorts to vulgarity.
That doesn't mean he's someone talking like a carter in the street.
It could be someone who perfectly educates their children on how to act, how to talk to neighbors, how to say hello to the lady.
However, there are things in sexuality that are liberated and which have every reason to be liberated, with respect, of course, for the individual with whom we make love and with respect for oneself.
But there is something that is released and that, suddenly, does not always put us in peace.
Hence our sometimes very rigid positions once out of the framework of privacy.
So it is no problem to have such desires in bed and to be a feminist?
No, she has the right to have reflected and thought things out.
And I also find it very nice and humble to say to myself that despite everything, I am not all along in agreement with myself.
It also allows you to assert your feminist positions a little better when you think about them like that.
Because otherwise we have positions that are simply mechanical and arbitrary to fight against a fear that we have not of man, but of oneself and of one's own fantasies.
The latter can precisely be linked to this idea of delicious submission which, suddenly, scares and pushes to accuse the man of his domination, for example. "