Why did "baby" become "sacred beast"?
[Expert perspective]
Editorial department questions
In recent years, many parents have referred to their children as "sacred beasts", "sacred beasts come out of the cage" during holidays, and "sacred beasts return to cages" when school starts.
Why should we call children "sacred beasts"?
The reason is that most of the children nowadays are only children, and they are placed in the most important position in the family. They are also the generation of aboriginal people on the Internet. They know more about some aspects than their parents. They are smarter and more mature than before. In my eyes, it is not an easy task to manage them well, and to fight with them wits and courage, so there is the saying of "sacred beasts".
The phenomenon of "sacred beasts" allows us to observe the current state of family education from another perspective.
General Secretary Xi Jinping emphasized that the family is the first classroom in life, and parents are the children's first teachers.
The "14th Five-Year Plan" proposes to improve the cooperative education mechanism of schools, families and society.
So, how did the "sacred beast" come into being?
What is the educational problem behind it?
How to solve?
The Research Group on Home-School Co-education Reform of the Chinese Academy of Education conducted a special survey on the situation and changes in the co-education of primary and secondary school students in my country after the new crown pneumonia epidemic. Please see how they answer——
1. How did the "sacred beast" come into being
The survey showed that during the epidemic, 28.5% of parents believed that they could not control their children.
What is the so-called "uncontrollable" for parents?
According to the survey, during the epidemic, 51.8% of parents believed that they "cannot guide their children's study and homework", and 48.9% of parents said that they "have no time and energy to study with their children."
This shows that in the eyes of most parents, "controlling the child" means controlling the child's learning.
Behind this phenomenon is that due to the unclear boundary between school education and family education, the functions are sometimes misaligned.
Specific manifestations: First, family education has lost its independence and has become an extension of school education.
Some teachers push some tasks that should be undertaken by teachers, such as correcting homework, to parents.
Parents are not professional educators and have not received special training, so it is difficult to undertake such professional work.
The above data reflects this dilemma; the second is that parents give up the main responsibility of family education and delegate the responsibility of children's growth to the school.
Think that children go to school, learning and educating people are the responsibility of the school.
Generally speaking, parents should control their children in all aspects, not just learning.
But why is it that nowadays, when parents talk about controlling their children, they are closely linked to controlling learning?
The underlying reason is the bitter fruit of utilitarian education in family education.
Under the influence of educational utilitarianism, the phenomenon of only scores, only advancement, and only diplomas narrows the education goals of family education. Scores, rankings, and diplomas have become important measures for many parents to measure their children's development.
Parents are not concerned about whether their children have a sound personality, whether they are kind, whether they have a full spiritual life, whether they have learned to manage themselves, but whether their children get full marks in the exam, whether they rank first, and whether they can be admitted to Tsinghua and Peking University.
According to the 2018 National Family Education Status Survey Report, the highest percentage of parents in fourth grade students’ expectation for their parents’ achievement is the “top three in the class” (45.9%).
Such fast-paced family education has made the children's time, space and learning content fully arranged. The children's autonomous space and inner interest are suppressed, their emotions are indifferent, their spirits are barren, and they eventually become poorly adapted to society.
Parents are too utilitarian in education, leading to the lack of moral education in the family, and increasing the tension between parent-child relationship and parent-child conflicts. The "baby" in the eyes of parents has become "sacred beast".
Every family, even school and society must pay attention to the phenomenon of "baby" becoming "sacred beast".
In the "Internet +" era and the subsequent era of artificial intelligence, the dynamics, diversification, and uncertainty of society have increased, and every family must constantly deal with various challenges to achieve a new balance.
If the family cannot adapt well to social changes, problems will easily occur.
For example, the sudden outbreak of new crown pneumonia and the home learning caused by “stopping of classes and not stopping school” make families have to deal with the changes in family life as classrooms, which poses a challenge to family functions and parents’ family education capabilities.
Families that do not respond well, or "babies" become "sacred beasts", or one or both parents and children have psychological problems.
And we have also noticed that all families that focused on educating people and focusing on their children's independent development before the epidemic had their children better at home learning and adapting.
In the post-epidemic era, not only students may study at home, but parents may also work from home.
As an important place for life, work, study, and entertainment, the family should give better play to family functions and improve family resilience.
2. What should parents manage
"Baby" becomes "sacred beast", which also allows us to reflect on what parents should manage.
Schools and families are independent of each other as the "small society" in which students live.
School education and family education have a common goal, which is to train qualified members of society.
Parents are too utilitarian, and the school partly outputs its own learning function to parents, which leads to parents who love to control learning, and even indulge other aspects of their children. Therefore, "controlling children" has become "controlling beasts."
So, what should parents manage?
First of all, school education and family education are put in place, and their respective training goals are clarified.
School education is institutionalized education, the most purposeful, systematic and organized educational activity.
The training goals set by the school are relatively ideal and abstract.
Although family education is also affected by the society, politics, economy and culture of different times, it is different from school education in determining specific goals.
The training goals of family education mostly reflect the will of the parents, and are affected by the parents' experience, values, self-quality, occupation, interests and hobbies.
Some parents also comprehensively determine training goals based on their children's hobbies.
Under normal circumstances, the training goals of students are twofold, that is, family and school.
When the educational goals of the school and the family are the same, it is easy for the family to reach a consensus, and the communication and cooperation between the family and the school are also smooth.
When the two educational goals are inconsistent, teachers and parents are likely to cause conflicts, communication between home and school is blocked, and the impact on the educated may conflict and offset.
Second, distinguish their respective responsibilities.
School education is a kind of social activity that cultivates people in school organizations. The purpose is to convey social production and life experience to individuals, develop individual bodies and minds, and promote individual socialization.
This activity highlights the four characteristics of purpose, planning, system, and field.
For family education, education is carried out naturally in daily life.
It is more appropriate to say that it is not so much education as a kind of socialization.
In modern society, the most important functions of the family are emotional maintenance, raising children and promoting socialization.
One is the function of emotional maintenance.
As society changes and other functions of the family weaken or shift, the emotional maintenance of contemporary families is even more important.
Ensuring the spiritual happiness and stability of family members is an important function of family education.
Psychologists believe that "the main source of a child's sense of security is knowing that parents love each other."
The relationship between husband and wife is harmonious, the family relationship is harmonious, and the child has a sense of security, which is the basis for the child to develop a sound personality and successfully complete the socialization; the second is the parenting function.
Including fertility, parenting and education.
Give birth to children and protect their healthy growth.
Children learn values, beliefs, and attitudes from their parents, and learn to establish appropriate attachment relationships with others.
The impact of family education on children is lifelong.
Even with school education and social education, the family has the longest and far-reaching influence on the growth of children; the third is the socialization function.
Everyone's social behavior is established through the process of socialization.
Everyone's life is constantly adapting to society and adjusting their relationship with society during their studies.
Socialization is an individual's lifelong journey.
The family is a kind of group between the individual and the society, and plays an important role in the process of socialization.
Part of the socialization function of the contemporary family is transferred to the school, but the intergenerational cultural transmission function of the family role is still very important.
In a rapidly changing society, the family helps its members adapt to the modern society and establish reasonable and legal social behavior norms.
Through socialization, individuals realize the organic unity of social and individual development.
Finally, clarify their respective educational content.
The content of school education is determined by the state education agency in accordance with the party’s educational policy and training objectives, in accordance with the different nature, tasks, logical systems of the disciplines and the relationship between disciplines, as well as the physical and mental health of students of different ages. To determine the level of development.
School education is centered on teaching. Through systematic, complete and scientifically designed courses, students can learn cultural knowledge, social norms, and form moral codes and values.
The content of education and teaching is guided by the curriculum standards formulated by the national education authority, and relatively stable, systematic and scientific teaching materials are selected as the basis.
Education and teaching content generally cannot be changed at will.
Family education is carried out anytime, anywhere through the parents' words and deeds and family life practice.
In many cases, families provide children with a better learning and growth environment, which can affect their growth in a subtle way.
The content of family education mostly focuses on ideological morality and social norms, and focuses on cultivating children's adaptability and self-reliance.
Minors learn and grow in family life, form basic social life norms, and lay the initial foundation for individual personality development and socialization.
The content of family education is generally not planned, and there is no systematic and fixed content.
Parents’ education is arbitrary, guiding their children to do what they think is needed.
Once problems or deficiencies are found, corresponding education or guidance will be carried out.
As two social subsystems, family and school need a clear division of education functions and a clear division of responsibilities.
Parents participating in school education should have the following rights: first, to understand how the school educates their children; second, to understand the school’s policies and plans and to exert a certain influence; third, to take necessary measures to protect their children’s right to education from being deprived by anyone Violation; fourth is to recognize the school's responsibility for students' study, life, education and teaching.
The Education Law of the People's Republic of China stipulates that the parents or other guardians of minors shall provide the necessary conditions for their minor children or other guardians to receive education.
The parents or other guardians of minors shall cooperate with schools and other educational institutions to educate their minor children or guardians.
The main duties of parents are: first, to ensure that their children have equal educational opportunities and appropriate education; second, to provide necessary conditions and convenience for the school to educate their children; third, to create a certain family learning environment for their children; fourth, to cooperate with the school And support the work of the school.
(Author: SHAN Zhi Yan, of the China Academy of Educational Sciences Research Associate)