"Marriage at both ends", a form of marriage that is not unusual in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, has recently been searched.
"Two-to-one marriage" is also called "joint marriage" or "two-family merger", which is similar to AA marriage. It is neither a marriage between a male and a female, nor a female recruiting a male.
After the young couple got married, they still maintained a certain degree of "stickiness" with their native families. Generally, they gave birth to two children as agreed in advance, each with the surname of the couple, and were raised by the two native families.
In Hangzhou, many local young people get married in this way.
After the special research and release by scholars, more and more people are curious about this new form of marriage.
Liu Qing is now the mother of two children, the first child has the mother's last name, and the second daughter has the father's last name.
Since she and her husband are both locals, they are high school classmates, and they communicate with each other in dialects, and their relationship foundation is relatively solid.
At this stage, the economic pressure is not great. The couple can start a small business. Usually the children are taken by the elderly of both parties, which is very worry-free.
In the case that young couples are both only children of each other, the exploration of "two-headed marriage" does cater to the demands of many families.
But things have two sides. Are there limitations and disadvantages in "marriage at both ends"?
According to the reporter's observations over the past few years, there are some hidden worries about "marriage at both ends" and they have begun to emerge.
The boundary between the new and the old family is not strong
The most obvious problem with "two-headed marriage" is that many small families and their two original families do not have a strong sense of boundary. A single strip of water is equivalent to the form of no separation of families in ancient times, and they maintain a strong stickiness with each other.
The impact of this is that the independence of the new family of "two-headed marriage" will be weakened, and the integrity of the small family will also be affected. For example, during the New Year, who's the family went to?
Should a small family buy a house independently?
If you don't discuss it well, or if you discuss it well but don't implement it well, it's easy to dispute.
In addition, the intimacy of young couples will also be affected.
Last year, Liu Qing and his wife suddenly divorced because of trivial matters. The young couple was living in the woman's house, and the man's family also came after the incident.
Although they were reconciled later, the parents of both parties still let them divorce. Fortunately, they also calmed down and the dispute came to an end temporarily.
Because of the pursuit of equality in the "two-to-one marriage", for the two original families, neither family can be partial, but in reality it is difficult to achieve a smooth balance, so the probability of disputes between the two families will increase.
The fundamental reason is that the small family is not independent enough, but the two native families are too involved.
Consumption is ahead and old-age care is difficult
The dependence of the "two-headed marriage" family on the two original families is particularly obvious in the economy. When the cost of living in the city increases and the consumption of young people is ahead, it is equivalent to two large families supporting a small family.
Another friend, Dong Qi, was introduced to her husband.
She is an ordinary working-class worker, but now she has bought 3 houses and recently bought an Audi car.
Her consumption habit is the kind of "big opening and closing". There are 8 bags worth tens of thousands of yuan at home. She has to raise her children and live on her own, and spend more than 40,000 yuan every month.
Where did the money come from?
The answer is help from two big families.
The parents of the young couple are both local farmers. They have some savings in small business, but their daily income is not much.
According to the spending schedule of Dong Qi's couple, not making some changes is obviously not a long-term solution.
This is a common phenomenon.
The basis of "two-headed marriage" is mostly locals, and the locals have relatively little life pressure, and even some families are still wealthy.
With the support of the two big families, it is easy for young people to develop the habit of spending ahead.
But this is worrying.
Recently, Dong Qi couldn't afford to be hospitalized because of his father-in-law's tumor. The conflict between the two parties was very serious.
In the case of two young people overdrawing money in advance, there will be four old people and two children who need their support in the future. The "6 big mountains" are pressed on them, and the sweetness in front of them can only be temporary, but the hidden worries and anxiety Often accompanied.
New ethical forms to be tested
How the children get along, how the two families get along, many of the problems faced by the "two-headed marriage" form are completely new and have no historical frame of reference.
Liu Qing gave birth to a son with his own surname and was raised in his parents' home.
Three years later, she gave birth to a second child, a daughter with the husband's surname, and was raised by the husband's parents.
Obviously, Liu Qing's parents love children with their own surnames more, and do not care much about their daughter's second child. The older couple are less educated, and they tend to love and hate their children more than anything else.
Because of the "three-generation single pass", the child was spoiled beyond the ordinary and everything went smoothly. Now the child is a "little bull" at school, and Liu Qing is often called to the school for interviews.
Whenever the granddaughter came, Liu Qing's parents were reluctant to take it, which formed a sharp contrast.
Some people say that people with the same surname must be partial to one, and people with different surnames are more partial to their own surnames, which is not conducive to the growth of children.
As a new form of marriage exploration, "marriage at both ends" needs to be followed up with legal (such as inheritance law), ethical, and conceptual exploration and renewal.
(In the text, Liu Qing and Dong Qi are pseudonyms)
Correspondent Mao Yisheng and reporter Chen Shuyi