I am 46, married, two children.

I cheated.

I am cheating.

And I'll cheat in the future too.

My husband is not allowed to know about it.

I love him, but I lie to him.

It's a dichotomy that probably most people who cheat on their partner are stuck in.

We live with a lie.

I'm tired of that.

Tilda Swinton is allowed to pose in turns with her husband and her younger lover.

People admire them.

But I am not allowed to talk about it.

That's why I'm doing it here.