Women who have been overlooked-Required withdrawal support-November 24, 18:02

"Hikikomori" has long been considered a major problem for men in Japan.

This is because the number of men seems to be higher, but the way of thinking is gradually changing.

Even if I can live a minimum life such as shopping and picking up children, I have no contact with people other than my family.

Staying at home for a long time is not always a “hikikomori”, but some women are suffering from loneliness and pain in such situations.

Some people say that they can no longer bear the imposition of the value that "this should be".

Why were they overlooked and isolated?

(Hiromi Akimoto, Reporter, Network News Department, News Department / Riri Fujitaka, Director, 3rd Unit, Production Bureau)

In the case of housewife Maeda

Tomoko Maeda (pseudonym, 30s), a full-time housewife living in Tokyo.

After graduating from university and getting a job, I married my husband who was a senior at work at the age of 24.

Tomoko said she wasn't good at socializing.

I worked after getting married, but I quit my job because of poor working conditions and depression in the workplace.

Fortunately, my husband's income was enough to cover my living expenses, and then my physical condition gradually recovered.

Although it doesn't hinder her life, Tomoko is now suffering from a feeling of loneliness and impatience.

Tomoko Maeda

"Oh? I don't think I'm talking to anyone other than my husband. When I noticed, I was denying (that state) probably because of shock. It's okay because I can talk to my husband. I think there is a way of thinking, but that's not the problem. I'm really scared if I think I can't talk to other people as it is. "

Tomoko began to avoid the relationships that caused stress after she quit her job.

Even if I got a call from a friend when I was a student, I couldn't return it, and the relationship was broken.

Avoid getting on the train because you are afraid of others' eyes.

No one in my neighborhood could call me an acquaintance, and I noticed that I had only talked to my husband for the past three years.

In order to change the current situation, I participate in a group of groups that support hikikomori and continue to search for it.

Tomoko

"I was envious of the people walking outside (when I was most depressed). My friendships were good, I was able to work and do household chores. Those who have children should raise their children properly. It's a selfish belief, but no one like me has the trouble of having only a husband to talk to ... "

Has been overlooked in the role

Women like Tomoko have not been considered hikikomori until now, even though they find it difficult to live.

In the first place, hikikomori is supposed to stay at home for more than 6 months in principle, avoiding social participation such as commuting to school or work.

Of course, even if you have a role such as "housewife" or "mother" at home, you should be in a state of withdrawal, but the government conducted a survey for younger generations (15-39 years old) in 2015. In the survey, full-time housewives, help with household affairs, and people raising children were excluded from the survey.

The target was 2018.

It was the time of the survey targeting middle-aged and elderly people (40-64 years old), as it was pointed out that hikikomori was prolonged.

Then, for the first time, it was found that about 13% of the people who fit the definition of hikikomori are full-time housewives (husbands) and about 6% are helping with domestic affairs.

The number of middle-aged and elderly hikikomori is estimated to be 610,000.

It is a calculation that accounts for nearly 20% of that.

But this may be a small part.

The survey of the younger generation has not been conducted since then, so it remains unclear.

Women's withdrawal, which is overlooked behind their roles, can be more common.

Women suffering from "should be"

The withdrawal of women who have finally begun to grasp the actual situation.

As I proceeded with the interview, it became clear that there was a cause unique to women.

Miho Tachibana (30's, pseudonym) who lives in Miyazaki prefecture.

Since I was a high school student, I have been in a state of withdrawal intermittently.

Miho says that a group of women has been in pain since she was a student.

I couldn't sympathize with the women's talk, and I couldn't keep up with makeup and fashion topics.

When I was in the second year of high school, I was absent from school.

Miho Tachibana

"I wasn't bullied, but when I realized I was always alone during the break. I was isolated in the class and didn't want to get hurt, so I decided to be alone. I feel like I'm withdrawn. "

After that, I went on to university and my withdrawal was temporarily resolved, but I hit the wall again in my job hunting.

Make up your clothes and go to company information sessions and interviews.

Even though I tried my best to be "feminine", I was exposed to words such as "I don't look good in makeup".

Let's withdraw again when the offer is canceled and I feel like I have been denied everything.

After that, I tried to work part-time and job hunting, but in the face of imposing values, I repeatedly changed jobs and withdrew.

Miho:

"Women only have to do assistant work, or they have to take the initiative in setting up before the meeting. I was always in conflict because I didn't know if I was wrong or the world was wrong. I start working with the thought that I will do it last here, but after all I will quit because it is difficult. I think that some people think that it is spoiled, but I am in a situation where I am not good at it. Some people can do their best, but some people get discouraged. I think everyone has a factor to discourage. "

An opportunity for "whereabouts" to take a step forward

What can women in a hikikomori state do to relieve their difficulty and suffering?

One woman talked about a hinting experience.

Sumire (30's) who lives in Tokyo.

After entering an art university, I gradually became unable to go out due to stress such as changes in the environment, and experienced a state of withdrawal for about two and a half years.

Sumire said that she used to stay in her room all day and blame herself for crying during the hardest time.

The opportunity to get out of that situation was to learn about the existence of a "women's association" where people with hikikomori gather online.

It was written that the woman representing the organization that runs the association was once an experienced hikikomori.

Sumire-san

"I wasn't drawn to that kind of gathering because it was dark and the number of people was small ... I wasn't drawn to it, but there was a place where I overlapped with the representative woman. Oh, I also dropped out. I want to meet someday because my feelings overlap. "

The site that Sumire saw at this time was "Hikikomori UX Conference".

Many of the core members of the management are those who have experienced withdrawal and difficulty in living, and so far, we have held more than 100 women-only party meetings.

When I first participated in this meeting, Mire changed suddenly because she had a good relationship with a woman of the same age.

Sumire-san

"I was nervous in Shibuya for the first time in a long time, but I could talk to him like a friend from the beginning. I understand, I was the same, it was a pain. I exchanged in advance and started to meet in private. I was happy that I could talk so much happily because I hadn't had any friends for a long time. It was an opportunity to go out. "

Sumire is now working to create her own party.

I participate in the study session of "Hikikomori UX Conference" and learn the know-how.

Mr. Sumire

"I wonder if it would be a little different if I could have a similar experience, just as I gradually regained my relationship with people. I hope I can take a step forward."

Expand your place of peace

Female withdrawal that has been overlooked so far.

Masaki Ikegami, a journalist who has been interviewing for many years, points out that support measures for women are necessary.

Masaki Ikegami

"In the case of women, even if they have difficulty living or suffering in a state of withdrawal, it may be difficult to see the problem from the outside due to the role of a full-time housewife or helping with domestic affairs." Is it okay for me to consult? There are many women who do not lead to support because they think that they cannot bother others. It is necessary to expand the place where they can feel at ease in the community such as women's parties. "

Women who talked about their painful experiences

This time, many women talked about their painful experiences because they wanted to help those who are suffering in the same way.

Miho-san, who suffered from the imposition of values ​​from the surroundings that it should be, may have been experienced by everyone, not just women.

I would like to continue thinking about how to create a society that respects and recognizes diverse values ​​and ways of life, even if the way of thinking is different.

※※ We will tell you about the withdrawal of women in "Asaichi" on Wednesday, November 25th.

※※

Hiromi Akimoto,

Reporter, Network News Department, News Department

Joined in

2010 After working at

NHK

Nara Broadcasting Station and Osaka Broadcasting Station

Production Bureau 3rd Unit Director

Riri Fujitaka

Joined in

2016

After working at Fukuoka Bureau, currently belongs

"# Komoribito" special site

"Hikikomori" that I know anew now.

Under the name "Komoribito", we think from various perspectives such as the person, family, and supporters.