[In-It] To you, who is hell in heart

On the way home with her picked up at the train station, cherry blossoms were falling.

It was the cherry blossoms in Baekni-gil of the Seomjin River.

I said to her silent H.

"Look at it. No one knows how many times we will see this in our lifetime. Even if we live for a long time, only one day in a year is the flower that fades. We are running in tremendous blessings now."

She said "Yeah Sister," but it didn't really seem that way.

I can say that I know her somehow.

When I was 14 years old, my mother ran away from home and even my father left, where I cooked alone, packed my own lunch, and studied while feeding my younger brother.

She went through foreign high school, entered a leading university, and immediately joined a large company.

Now the hardship would have ended.

But.

She met a man a while ago, when she was trying to make her brother independent and now live a little more comfortably.

It was not a man and woman meeting.

Now, for a while, she was "living and eating", and she helped the fired workers in college because she was so busy that she couldn't help.

H, who is so kind that I am pretty, met a fired man there, and he loaned all the money he had saved for saying that his children and his wife were going to sit down soon, and that money would soon be coming from his wife.

Is it too cliché?

He is currently in jail for fraud.

She even got into debt by lending a little more to him to get the debt.

She said.

"I went to the hospital, and I'm very depressed. I have to take medicine now. I've been taking medicine on time. My life is so unfair."

We poured makgeolli over the arbor from the mountain behind and slightly boiled the sprouts of gasiogapi picked from the mountain behind the neighboring house and seasoned with perilla oil and salted anchovy.

“At work — I worked without holidays for more than 13 hours a day — women who kept being pushed out of promotion and couldn't work were promoted. Besides, I was kicked out of my job a while ago. Now, it's a blatant atmosphere. It's so nasty and dirty that I quit. I wanted to, but it's still a long way to pay off the debt that the man cheated on…."

H blankly looked at the river.

"I love my sister's house. I want to come here and live like my sister."

"But you still have a house."

"House?"

She asked.

And he laughed.

"That's right, a 10-pyeong apartment in the area where Seoul and Gyeonggi-do meet. It's almost a can because my dad took a loan and used it. The loan was overdue, so the bank came to me, so I'm paying the interest little by little, so I don't know when I'll be seized..."

She shut her mouth.

It was difficult for me to say something, and while pouring the makgeolli, I wiped the overflowing glass.

The river was constantly shining as the afternoon came.

A lot of shine was shining and it seemed that silver powder was sprinkled on the river.

I also drank a cup of makgeolli.

"Hey, I'll say something completely different."

H looked at me with gentle eyes.

She was a 14-year-old girl who became the head of the family, and she wasn't depressed even though she couldn't take tutoring and eat with her own hands.

When I was trying to earn money after getting a job at a company, I was dragged into the mountains by an inexhaustible taxi robbery, but I calmly closed my eyes and said, "Mister, I'm the head of a girl who's been feeding my younger brother since I was 14. I've only finished studying and got a good job. Months have passed. If I die here, my younger brother becomes a real orphan. Uncle, I'll give you everything I have, so please save me. I keep closing my eyes. I won't even report it.” She was a calm girl who escaped the crisis.

But now I saw that it was falling apart in front of the years.

They are the same age as me, but they were injured a lot, so they looked old and tired.

It was worth taking depression.

It was unfair.

I was understanding her.

But not so I had to say.

Nevertheless, said that.

"I think it was when I was 14 years old. My mother was crying.'What's wrong with mom?'

When I asked, "I went to the hospital and said that it is essential hypertension. I have to take medicine for my whole life. My age is over 40 and I have to take medicine for my whole life." So I said, "There are so many diseases in the world where you can't even use medicine. The bottle has medicine, but why are you crying?'

My mother looked at me, who was 14 years old, as if surprised, and said, "I hear you, that's the same......but Jiyoung, I want to eat forever." So I said, "You can eat it all your life. What's the problem?"

Then my mother asked again,'There may be a side effect.'

'Mom, there aren't any side effects yet. If there are side effects, you can think about it then.'

Then the mother laughed, "Yes..... then you can."

I think sometimes. What the hell would I have done for a young one to think about it."

As he looked at the river, he leaned his head back and laughed.

I laughed together, then silenced for a moment and said.

"Hey, take medicine. You have medicine."

"Yes, you really are."

Her'yes' this time seemed to me to be kind.

"And."

I said again.

"Is your company a good company?"

H blinks.

"I saw your company a while ago, and the owner's family did all sorts of bad things. Do you need to be loyal to that person?"

My juniors seemed to be tilted.

"Would your pride really be satisfied just because they promote you? Just go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. But what kind of money will you make not so badly? Until you get out of here, work hard. But you're loyal. E. They're not that meaningful people!"

H's face was much more saturated than before.

I was grateful for her trusting me.

"I mean the house. Yeah, just like you said, an old apartment with a snot turned into a tin. Isn't that really thankful? If I didn't have it, what the hell would have been."

"Yeah, my sister. That's what my mom made up with the money she saved while cleaning the bathroom in a big building in the city before leaving the house. Thank you so much."

"Hey, let's think about it this way. One day I'm an H to you. My sister has a small apartment, and you and her brother come to live there? I won't get the rent. Instead, I have a lot of loans, so I'd like you to pay it back little by little. For 30 years. I'm not telling you to move, what would it have been like?"

H tilted his head.

"I can be confident. If you did, you would have bought me a rib for every holiday. You said thank you. And even after I took the house back, you would have thanked me, for your personality."

"That's right."

H nodded.

"But why don't you thank Dad?"

I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about it, then H burst into laughter.

"Yes Sister. Really."

I poured makgeolli to her.

A soft and warm wind came from the Seomjin River.

Later she said.

"It was weird. Things didn't change at all, but everything changed."

I answered.

"There's nothing in the world that's bad in life anyway. Nothing is 100% good anyway. If it's 100% good, there's a lot of chance it's a lie. The good and bad things in all things are like having night and day for a day. But in the end I mean, both aren't bad, but it's good to change your mind a little."

That afternoon, I took water in my second-floor bedroom, a bathtub that I placed in a position with the best view.

I played Mozart CD and poured herbal bath in the bathtub.

I said after putting Hadongsan green tea on the half body bath table.

"Enjoy as much as you want. At this moment, your sister is a maid, you are a princess."

I came back to the deck and lifted Mozart by myself.

Even if we have to visit our house and stay stuck for a few days, nonetheless, all lives need distance from each other.

Even if it is just an hour of a day.

#In-It #In-It #Gong Ji-young #Gong Ji-young's Seomjin Walk # Meet'In

[In-It] This one word saved me when there were only many reasons to die