Chrissy Teigen and her husband, John Legend -

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Chrissy Teigen has emerged from the silence in which she had walled herself since the loss of her baby, named Jack, at 20 weeks pregnant.

In a poignant text published on

Medium

, she revealed both her feelings and the reasons that pushed her to publicly document the drama she experienced.

The supermodel “needed to burn this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember (…) our tears of joy after Luna and Miles were born.

(…) I don't care if it's something you didn't do.

I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, (…) these photos are only for people who need them.

What other people think doesn't matter to me ”.

Chrissy Teigen also shared the moment she had to "give birth to our 20 week old baby boy who couldn't have survived in my womb."

The farewell

Explaining that she "still feels the pain" of that moment while writing, John Legend's wife describes when she was given an epidural.

“I lay there for hours, waiting to be told it was time to push.

I didn't have to wait for (the cervix) to dilate a lot, he was still a tiny little guy.

I had to lie on my side and change it every hour, when the nurse asked me.

I remember being on the right side, looking away from John when I was told to turn around.

I spread my legs and started to face John, and just like that, he was on his way.

The doctors screamed for a moment… I don't know what to say, even now.

He was out.

My mum, John and I each wore it and said our goodbyes, my mum saying prayers in Thai between sobs.

I asked the nurses to show me her hands and feet and kissed them over and over again.

I have no idea how long this lasted.

It could be 10 minutes like an hour ”.

Chrissy Teigen adds that Jack's "ashes" "are in a small box, waiting to be buried under a tree in our new house, the one we bought with a bedroom in mind."

“I am writing this because I knew I needed to say something before I went ahead and returned to life, so I sincerely thank you for allowing me to do so.

Jack will always be loved, we will always explain to our children that he lives in the wind, the trees and the butterflies that we see.

Thank you to each of you who kept us in your thoughts or went so far as to send us your love and your story.

We're so lucky, ”Chrissy Teigen concluded on Instagram.

People

VIDEO.

John Legend salutes Chrissy Teigen's courage and strength after miscarriage

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