Learn how to pursue love, but also how to manage love——
Nearly 90% of college students support the school to offer love classes
"4.8 points, out of 5 points." Speaking of the online course "Love Psychology", a freshman elective, Lu Nanan, a junior at Tianjin Foreign Studies University, gave a high score.
She is currently in love and said with a smile that she was single when she first chose the course and chose this course with the mentality of "finding love through learning".
In the course, she understands the differences between the sexes and how lovers should get along. "The most important thing is that after learning this course, she can better establish love confidence."
According to Duan Xinxing, a professor at the School of Public Administration of China University of Mining and Technology, a doctoral supervisor, and the lecturer of the "Love Psychology" course, many colleges and universities across the country have opened courses on "Love Psychology".
"The name of the course may be different, such as "Love Psychology", "Love and Life Happiness", "Life Happiness Lesson", "Intimacy" and so on."
Recently, China Youth School Media launched a questionnaire survey for 1,028 college students across the country.
The survey results show that 88.23% of college students support the establishment of love classes in universities.
Among the students who participated in the questionnaire survey, 28.89% were in a relationship, 37.55% were in a relationship and are currently single, 28.99% were never in a relationship, and 4.57% were in a crush or pursuit of others.
Love encounters problems, college students look forward to the "good medicine" for love
Duan Xinxing introduced that the course "Love Psychology" was initially offered to students for two reasons.
On the one hand, I learned about many extremely vicious incidents caused by problems with love. On the other hand, Duan Xinxing has conducted mental health lectures and surveys on college students in hundreds of colleges and universities across the country, and found that the greatest impact on college students’ mental health is emotional relationships.
"Including family relationships, interpersonal relationships, and heterosexual relationships."
In an emotional relationship, college students will inevitably encounter difficult problems or mental states that are difficult to manage.
The China Youth School media survey found that how to resolve the contradictions and differences in love and how to face the end of the relationship is what college students most hope to learn in the love class, accounting for 71.79% and 71.50% of the total number of surveys respectively; How to protect yourself (70.53%), how to make choices at critical moments related to relationships (66.93%), how to make getting along more enjoyable (66.73%), how to love someone better (62.35%), etc. It is what college students want to learn.
Li Zichao and his girlfriend have been in love for more than two years, and they are classmates in a college in Fujian.
When they were together for more than two months, they took the "Love Psychology Class" together.
When he first fell in love, Li Zichao was often sad because he felt "outsided".
During his passionate love period, he could not wait to be with his girlfriend all the time, but his girlfriend worked in a student club and sometimes had dinner with his friends.
"At that time, I was very possessive. I felt uncomfortable when I watched her playing with others so happy from a distance. I always hope that she can save more time to me." Sometimes the two would have cold wars and quarrels.
Choosing a love psychology class has a lot to do with his desire to learn how to maintain the relationship between two people.
Wang Shengen of a college in Tianjin chose this course because he saw girls in his daily life and didn't know how to talk, let alone pursue the girls he liked.
According to Duan Xinxing's experience, college students will encounter various problems in love, and the most frequent problems are concentrated in three aspects: confession, getting along, and long-distance relationship.
"First, I like a person, but I don’t know whether the other person likes me, and I don’t know how to confess; second, it is easy to get along with each other, and how to resolve conflicts, conflicts, and disagreements in the process of dating. ."
Two years ago, Long Yuhan, who studied at Tianjin University, said goodbye to a long-distance relationship.
After the college entrance examination, the two came together, but the university became a different place.
In school, watching other couples holding hands and eating together, Long Yuhan also wanted her boyfriend to accompany him.
"It's easy to quarrel when I feel uncomfortable, and I don't want to take the initiative to reveal why."
The barrier of space makes the original clear problem cloud cover.
On the eve of a holiday, his boyfriend went to a city near Long Yuhan to participate in activities. He wanted to drop in and go home together, but he had other arrangements temporarily.
On whether to go to the temporarily arranged event, the two had a disagreement. "Later, I didn't want to talk to him about it, refused to communicate, and finally broke up."
Last semester, she chose the school's love class. After taking a class, Long Yuhan summarized and solved the problems between couples, mostly around the word "communication".
Hearing the teacher's analysis, and carefully recalling the relationship, she "now thinks that if she thinks more about the other party at that time, the outcome may be better."
How to start a love class
The content of the love class is different from Long Yuhan's imagination.
She thought that the teacher would teach the skills of pursuit and love, but in fact, this course mainly teaches everyone how to get along with each other and how to adjust their mentality.
"Different ways of getting along are very comprehensive. The teacher will talk about long-distance relationships, sibling relationships, and relationships that span a large age."
Li Zichao felt that his troubles were answered to a certain extent in the love class.
The teacher mentioned in the class that it is natural to feel that you are left out by the other party. Don't feel embarrassed because of it. While facing your own mentality, you should communicate well with the other party and learn to give the other party space.
This kind of psychological guidance made Li Zichao feel very useful. "It allows me to correctly understand my emotions and the relationship between two people, so that it will not be too tangled and depressed."
Duan Xinxing used "Department Pharmacy" to describe students' impressions of the "Love Psychology" course, "Every student who enters the course is like a patient who comes to grab medicine. Some people need prescriptions for broken love, some people need to confess prescriptions, and some People need an enlightenment prescription for love, or someone walks in with curiosity. Everyone has a different purpose when they walk into this department store, but in the end they all find what they want in this class 'commodity'".
Lin Yuan's love did not last until the end of the epidemic.
In half a year, he and his girlfriend could not go back to Tianjin where the school is located. They did not meet each other. In June of this year, the relationship ended without a problem.
From two people suddenly to one person, Lin Yuan felt that life was missing.
He often couldn't sleep at night, turning off the light and lying in bed, his mind was full of time spent by two people.
One semester before the breakup, Lin Yuan had just taken a school love psychology class. There was a special chapter in the class to teach students how to get out of the shadow of broken love.
"Learn to accept your own sadness and pain, but in order to avoid being uncomfortable all the time, you must find a way to enlighten yourself, and you must also pull others to enlighten yourself."
Lin Yuan feels that this period of study is necessary.
When he is sad, he will tell himself that whether falling in love or falling out of love is a precious growth experience in life, the more experienced, the more mature the mind.
"It's not the last one. It's really inappropriate. Who can guarantee that you can find the perfect partner once you fall in love?" He has now accepted this fact, "People have to look forward."
The love class of Li Zichao's school not only teaches love psychology, but also intersperses some emotional suggestions.
"The teacher would not say that college students should not spend money to buy gifts for boy and girl friends. She suggested that we should create some sense of ritual for the relationship." The teacher once asked what they would give each other in class.
"I usually give her clothes and shoes. During my birthday during the epidemic, she sent 99 roses that she folded. I sometimes send her my paintings. I think the paintings are not very good. It is said that the painting is very beautiful." This is regarded by the teacher as a "textbook-like" gift, "Within the scope of one's own ability, giving each other the gifts that each other wants and needs is the best gift."
Ren Xiaomeng and Ren Wenya, a post-90s couple who donated a fried dough stick shop to families with children with leukemia, are looking for youths in the “Family and Country Together, Gong Enjoy Beautiful” sponsored by the China Youth Daily and the Gujing Gongjiu Vintage Pure Pulp 20 special offer. In an interview with the love series of events, Ren Wenya’s favorite gift given to her by Ren Wenya when she was in love in college was a photo album that records the love between the two. “It is far more valuable than the things you spend a lot of money on.” Later, The wedding of the two was also handled in a simple manner, and Ren Wenya supported Ren Xiaomeng to spend the money where it should be.
"Give those with difficulties in their families the equipment for making fried dough sticks, teach them a craft, and donate money to those in a hurry."
Duan Xinxing believes that love-related courses should guide college students to establish the correct three views, understand the differences between the sexes, and understand the nature of love.
"The essence of love is intimacy, which belongs to the category of social relations, but it is not limited to the relationship between two people. The triggering of emotion is a complicated issue, which permeates our values, background, current state and many other factors."
College students yearn for the love of "like-minded and like-minded"
The China Youth College Media survey found that among the college students participating in the survey, 55.54% believed that helping young people to establish a correct outlook on love is the most important meaning of love classes.
The second is to help young people solve practical problems in love (24.90%), help young people improve their communication skills (8.37%), and help young people find love (4.47%).
The ideal love in Li Zichao's eyes is the result of two people having similar interests and working hard together.
In getting along with his girlfriend, Li Zichao can see the bright future of the two.
They began to plan for a common future. "If we want to take the postgraduate entrance examination together, we often go to the library together. Although it is unlikely to be admitted to the same school, we hope to work towards a better direction together."
"If a love makes you self-doubt, indecisive, and more negative emotions than positive emotions, you need to think rationally about where your love is going. Good love will definitely make each other better, and it will make you better. The timid person becomes confident and sunny, it will make you feel comfortable, relaxed and free." Duan Xinxing said.
The love of world figure skating champions Pang Qing and Tong Jian is also one of the love stories in the series of activities of "Family and Country Together, Giving Benefits" to find love in the eyes of young people.
At the age of 14, Pang Qing gave Tong Jian his hand for the first time, and the two stood on the podium of the world champion hand in hand, and continued their entrepreneurial journey today.
They established the largest single ice center in Asia named after themselves to train talents for the development of figure skating in China and help the development of China's ice and snow sports.
Ren Wenya and Ren Xiaomeng started to start their own business together at university. They used to sell thermos mugs in the low temperature of minus ten degrees Celsius. They were also chased by dogs in the village. They experienced unsuccessful learning to bake biscuits at the beginning, and the whole family ate them for a month Biscuits.
After starting to sell fried dough sticks and making breakfast, Ren Wenya once had a heavy barrel of soy milk, and a barrel of hot soy milk was spilled on her feet. After a simple treatment, she dragged her back to the stall on time every day.
Ren Xiaomeng felt that his lover suffered along with him, but Ren Wenya felt that the two people came together at the stage of value formation during college, and they influenced each other in their thoughts and ambitions. They never felt tired and hard, but only felt that two people worked hard together to be the happiest .
In the love story found in the "Family and Country Together, Contribute to the Beautiful" series of activities to find love in the eyes of young people, the chief physician of the Emergency Department of the First Affiliated Hospital of China Medical University was recruited by the National Emergency Rescue Team when the epidemic was most severe. , Rushed to assist Wuhan Fangcang shelter hospital, and innovatively used YY voice live broadcast to answer various questions for patients and audiences in Fangcang shelter hospital and the whole network.
His wife Ji Haiyin, who lives far away in Shenyang, Liaoning Province, is also a doctor. The two of them had both undergraduates together. After graduating from graduate school, Jiangsu Talent Quan stayed in Shenyang for Ji Haiyin.
During the epidemic, Cai Quan supported Wuhan, and Ji Haiyin worked in Shenyang and took care of two children.
Despite being thousands of miles away, in Caiquan’s live broadcast room, she is a loyal fan of her husband’s live broadcast every day, and she often helps her husband answer patients’ questions.
In their eyes, only a small family can be happy if the country is safe.
In Duan Xinxing's view, "same love, like-minded people" is the appearance of beautiful love.
She suggested that college students be more rational in their relationships and learn to find someone who really suits them in the crowd.
(According to the request of the interviewee, the students interviewed in the article are all pseudonyms)
China Youth Daily·China Youth Daily reporter Cheng Si Bi Ruoxu Source: China Youth Daily