- In his documentary Madame , Stéphane Riethauser returns with finesse and a generous eye on the figure of his grandmother, a funny and independent woman, free and strong, who was also forcibly married at 15 to a man who raped her.
- The director interweaves this portrait of the story of his own trajectory, that of a not yet gay child born into a bourgeois family where homosexuality was not accepted.
- "Homophobia is the little sister of sexism", explains Stéphane Riethauser to 20 Minutes.
It's beautiful, it's moving like when we hug someone we love tightly, or when we look with tenderness at the small faults of those who are dear to us. In his documentary Madame , Stéphane Riethauser returns with finesse and a generous eye on the figure of his grandmother, a funny and independent woman, free and strong, who was also forcibly married at 15 to a man who raped her. And he interweaves this portrait of the story of his own trajectory, that of a not yet gay child born into a bourgeois family where homosexuality was not accepted. Two not-so-distant destinies, because the film brilliantly shows how homophobia is a monster generated by sexism.
Madame is constructed as a nostalgic return, an investigation into the life of this real character, Caroline, the director's grandmother. It begins with images filmed a few years after the death of this adored grandmother, in which we see Stéphane Riethauser putting a black varnish on his fingers. And a comment that makes us understand that she still lives with the grandson: “My dear Grandma, you've been away for 15 years, but the sound of your voice still resonates in me. I know you would say to me: "Your nail polish looks bad" ".
"Never dare you put an earring"
"She" was a daughter of Italian immigrants, a businesswoman in love with poetry who rolled her hump on her own, becoming financially comfortable when her father had forbidden her to read, to hang out with boys, and above all. forced to marry a man she barely knew. “My father said to me: 'I'd rather kill you than see you refused'. "Madame" worked hard from the age of seven, carved out a place for herself in the fashion world, bought a car when it was still rare, and later opened a restaurant, made from the theater, painted. An emancipated woman.
“Him” is a rowdy young child in class, a creative who already loves the camera, shuns girls like many teens his age. "A man has 'balls', women are made into cheerleaders," he thinks very early on, while learning at school that the "masculine wins out over the feminine". "We're all going to fuck these little babes, huh?" »His father asks him later, when a blonde woman appears on the television screen. "Never dare you put on an earring," he told her too. Above all, do not "cross your legs too much, do not" have your wrist too flexible ". Avoid being a "fool".
"We had to fight against the same patriarchal system"
But his gaze, however, can not help focusing on Etienne, then on Grégoire the "playboy of the class", then later, in college in the United States, on the one who will become his friend. Along the way, and thanks to decisive encounters, the secret explodes, freeing at the same time the body which was suffering more and more. But the fear of revealing his homosexuality to his beloved grandmother will keep them away. We will not reveal the rest to you, very moving.
“I recorded my grandmother when she was 90 to preserve her memory. I had no intention of making a film of it, it was only 10 years after his death that I found these old tapes and saw in them something to tell about the condition of women. His career seemed emblematic to me. I realized through my research that family records tell something about gender. And that my career as a young homo could be linked to the trajectory of my grandmother. We had to fight against the same patriarchal system: my grandmother was repudiated by her family after having dared to divorce at the age of 18, and I two generations later had to fight against the same system, which locked me in the role of a straight man ”, tells 20 Minutes Stéphane Riethauser.
The homosexual assimilated to a woman
Beyond this touching story between two singular beings, of remarkable strength, Madame is therefore a kind of narrative essay on the links between homophobia and sexism, known and demonstrated for decades. In this ancestral fable, the woman is passive because she is penetrated, while the man who penetrates is active, he is the warrior who defends the city. In this diagram, the male homosexual refers according to the psychoanalyst Serge Hefez "to a female man", "a fragile man incapable of defending society".
"The most common homophobic comments revolve around this," explained the specialist during a conference on homophobia. If we open the door to homosexuality, the whole of society will lose its strength and find itself in a weak position. Men are no longer men if they no longer fulfill their role of warrior, of penetrating defender, and they endanger all representations of man in society. "
"It's a film that opens the dialogue"
“The construction of the identity is done for a boy against the feminine identity and consequently against the homosexual identity, which is seen only in a pejorative way. A homosexual is a sub-man, someone who behaves in a feminine way, implied weaker and despicable. Homophobia is the little sister of sexism. The root of the problem is precisely this white patriarchal world dominated by heterosexuals who have power, wrote the dictionaries, shaped our languages, traditions, conventions. Having understood this, I think we can reflect on the standards that condition us. If we stopped taxing the girl with the short hair who wants to play tomboy football, and saying that the sensitive and tender little boy is a fag, everyone would be better off. Even straight men can't find it. They feel obligated to play a role, ”explains Stéphane Riethauser.
Like women, gays are seen as second-class citizens. To put it better: they are seen as second class citizens because they are seen as women. Madame is therefore much more than a delicate, funny and tender documentary on the relationship between a grandmother and her grandson. It is also a way of twisting the necks of a double injustice, and of building bonds of solidarity between two abused groups.
While weaving dialogue within families, as the director explains: “I received hundreds of messages all around the world. Messages from strangers who say "your film reminded me of my story", from parents that it helped to better understand their son, from women who realized their status within their family. It is a film that opens the dialogue. People come out of the film and talk to each other. They talk about uncomfortable, taboo subjects: love, death, the relationship to sexuality. It is the greatest gift that can be given to a filmmaker. "
Television
"A Secret Love": The well-kept secret of an older lesbian couple
Television
"The history of LGBTQ on television has been a roller coaster," says "Visible: Out on TV" director
- Culture
- The elderly
- Documentary
- Lgbt
- Homophobia
- Sexism
- Discrimination