The PhD in Linguistics for the Deaf was once regarded as a "heterogeneous" until a new choice
Can you not speak
Zheng Xuan is explaining sign language
The upstairs of the Chongqing School for the Deaf and Mute says "Silent and Wonderful"
Zheng Xuan (left) communicates with a teacher in a school for the deaf and dumb with sign language
Zheng Xuan is a template for inspirational life.
She lost her hearing when she was two years old, and after a long oral rehabilitation training, she was admitted to Wuhan University. After graduating from a master's degree, he studied for a doctorate at Fudan University, became the first Ph.D. in Linguistics for the deaf in China and taught at the university.
In the world of the deaf, trying to communicate in spoken language is the most ideal state in most people's minds. In contrast, sign language was put on a hat of shame. Seeing Zheng Xuan, many parents have confidence, "My child may also be able to talk and go to college."
But Zheng Xuan does not want to become a "rehabilitation star" sought after by parents.
In the long oral rehabilitation training, she experienced too much loneliness and hardship. Between the deaf and the listening world, Zheng Xuan encountered an identity crisis, and both groups once regarded her as "alien."
After adulthood, Zheng Xuan, who had been cautiously using spoken language, "hiding" in the world of normal people, was extremely depressed, and made a new choice. She began to "put down" spoken language, learn sign language, and truly found herself back.
"Sign language is a possibility. We can have other choices in life. We have the right to choose not to speak. Neither choice is wrong."
Try to get close to normal people
Every year, many parents come to Zheng Xuan, and they hope that their children can also copy the story of "striving to get close to normal people".
Zheng Xuan once attributed his deafness to the wrong use of drugs at the age of two. Later, she learned that she had a deaf gene and suffered from "large vestibular aqueduct syndrome." Over the years, her hearing has continued to decline, and has now fallen to 100 and 120 decibels. But compared to children with congenital deafness, she is still lucky. She has accumulated a little oral language foundation when she is deaf. It is post-linguistic deafness, which is a prerequisite for better rehabilitation training.
Family members try their best to let Zheng Xuan return to the "normal world." In order to facilitate her reading of nursery rhymes, she bought a dual-card radio, which was a luxury item in the 1980s. To take care of her, her grandmother retired early, and her father, who served in the Navy, gave up the job and returned home. When I was 10 years old, my family sent someone to Hong Kong to buy a box-type hearing aid for several hundred yuan. With Zheng Xuan as the center, they started with "a, o, e" and "roared" knowledge into her world little by little.
Sitting on a small bench, repeating the pronunciation countless times, this is the deepest memory of Zheng Xuan's childhood. Her parents exaggeratedly approached her ears and yelled. She remembered the uncomfortable feeling of the air blowing on her face. Repeated word by word, and occasionally mischievous, and the voice of her speech was loud and small to make adults play with it. She would have to read that word hundreds or thousands of times.
"That is a very disturbing memory, it feels like training a parrot." She has learned the pronunciation of Z, C, and S for more than half a year. Mother was originally shy and shy, but in the process of raising her, she gradually became a loud speaker.
Since elementary school, Zheng Xuan has been studying in ordinary schools, trying to make herself "more like a normal person." She relies on hearing aids as much as possible to listen, and imitates if she can't hear clearly. She keeps her eyes open to observe the people around her. The elementary school teacher joked that Zheng Xuan stared at her unblinkingly, wishing to eat her.
When he was just in the first grade, Zheng Xuan often didn't know what the teacher asked him to do. In the math class, she saw a bundle of sticks taken out by the same table, and she silently took it out of her schoolbag, and cooperated with the teacher's blackboard to guess that it was to count. "I was too young at the time, there was no sound from my hearing aids, I couldn't hear clearly, and I didn't know how to express it."
The music teacher taught everyone to sing, but she didn't understand at all, so she had to learn from others to move her mouth. Back home, she imitated the pronunciation of the lyrics and asked her father: "What the hell is'Hug Me'?" Only then did she know that the complete lyrics should be "Breaking the enemy's fire" in the national anthem.
Many times, she endured, pretending to understand. She tried her best to digest all the difficulties that fell on her and make herself look as good and perfect as everyone else. In the last mock exam before the college entrance examination, she took the first place in the district.
But "close to normal people" is not an easy task. The word "deaf" is often written on the blackboard in the classroom; there is a broom on the door frame waiting for her to push the door; the hearing aid has also been stolen... In high school, three people at the same table asked to be separated from her during a semester. She is bored, doesn't like talking, and likes to talk in writing. Most of her classmates find it too troublesome to communicate by writing.
From hiding to acceptance
Zheng Xuan is now a lot more calm, and when meeting people, she does not shy away from her identity as a deaf person. When meeting for the first time, I always remind the other person to stand on her left, because only the left ear still has a little high-frequency hearing. If it is in a public place such as a restaurant, where the noisy environment affects the effectiveness of the hearing aid, she will also turn her face to indicate that the other person will repeat what she has said.
This is a process from hiding to acceptance.
Before going to university, Zheng Xuan had never contacted a deaf companion. She hid herself in the world of "normal people" step by step, always carrying a walkman, recording, correcting, and repeating at any time, hoping that her voice would be no different from others. Her voice and intonation became more and more natural, but until she was admitted to the National Humanities Experimental Class of Wuhan University, which only enrolls 25 people, she was still trying to integrate and she was still inferior.
The roommate is the host of the school's TV station and the debater of the debate team. Zheng Xuan envied her being talkative, good-looking, and a boyfriend. The roommate introduced her to boys from other schools, but when they met, she dared not speak. In order to avoid embarrassment, the roommate has always been active, and the boys like her roommate. "At that time, I was in a very bad mood, extremely low self-esteem, and even poured water on my head, thinking about dropping out several times."
Zheng Xuan tried to save herself and met her first deaf friend on the "Deaf Online" forum. They met on the grass at the gate of Wuhan University. She followed each other to learn sign language, and for the first time she didn't have to work hard to speak. They use their mobile phones to type, add expressions and actions, and they can still piece together the meaning of each other. She had forgotten what she had learned, that one hour of happiness was rare in her life before, and she saw a completely different way of life.
Before that, Zheng Xuan often felt sorry and embarrassed for not hearing what others said. "After getting to know him, I realized for the first time that it was not my fault not to hear. We are deaf, which is the way we are."
A deaf friend introduced Zheng Xuan to join the Hubei Disabled People’s Art Troupe. She knew more deaf people and also understood the “rules” of the deaf world. This is a circle that made Zheng Xuan kind and curious, but she was “marginalized”. "The feeling still follows her.
She once attracted criticism because of a comment on the Internet. Zheng Xuan wrote at the time: "As long as we deaf people work hard enough and are good enough, we can also find healthy people as lifelong partners." She didn't realize the meaning of the words. To say that the deaf is better than listening. Others pointed out that she discovered that her own thinking growing up in a listening environment is difficult to change for a while.
When rehearsing at the Disabled People's Art Troupe, she couldn't understand why some deaf people started to be very enthusiastic about her, and then suddenly became cold. Later, I learned that when the deaf commanding teacher was telling everyone with sign language, she turned her head and greeted the hearing teacher who happened to enter the door. She looked away and ignored the sign language, "They felt that I didn’t want to talk to the deaf. communicate with."
Returning to the world of "listening to people", Zheng Xuan also felt uncomfortable. The tutor asked her to talk about her thesis in an undergraduate class. She didn't want to be on stage, and it became difficult to speak. Even if others say that she has a good pronunciation, she will still pay attention to every sentence. If a sound is not perfect, it will be very painful.
The contradictions and struggles between the two circles were once manifested in the body. Zheng Xuan was seriously ill and took leave to go home and rest for a few months before returning to school.
An accidental exchange with an American student brought Zheng Xuan out of his predicament. The younger brother is a Chinese expert and his sign language is very good. "Identity crisis", Zheng Xuan heard the concept of "identity" for the first time. "He told me that many deaf people go through such a period when they grow up. I seemed to have a sense of clarity at the time. It turned out that this is a cultural phenomenon. , I’m not going to meet it alone."
Before that, Zheng Xuan had always felt that she was the heterogeneous hidden among the listeners, and the long depressed days made her tired. She asked herself, "Can I completely give up my identity as a listener and accept myself as a deaf person?" She wrote an email to her tutor: Can I not speak and express it in sign language. Instructor's reply: Of course, you can choose the lifestyle you feel comfortable with. Looking back now, she said that it was a hurdle in her heart. Only by completely "letting go" of her spoken language can the sign language be diligent and can she truly experience the feeling of a silent world.
Choose not to speak, and be happy
After graduating from her Ph.D., she went to teach at Chongqing Normal University. In addition to teaching classes, she also served as the head teacher for nearly 80 deaf students. When Zheng Xuan finally completed her self-recognition, she met more and more deaf parents who came to consult. They hoped that their children could repeat the path Zheng Xuan had taken-become articulate. , Can speak well.
Hearing impairment has become the second largest birth defect disease in my country, with more than 800,000 children aged 0-6, and 30,000 deaf children every year. Zheng Xuan said that at present, parents of deaf children often can only get advice from doctors: "Send to a rehabilitation center." "Go for a cochlear implant." They have no chance to meet all kinds of adult deaf people. Learn more The growth story of the deaf. They don't know that sign language is actually a language, and learning sign language can also achieve communication.
Once oral rehabilitation fails to achieve the desired results for some reason, the deaf child's first language will be delayed and the cognition, intelligence and sociality will lag behind ordinary people. Zheng Xuan does not want to become a "rehabilitation star" sought after by parents. There are too many bumps on this road, and success depends on many factors. There are many prerequisites for her own oral rehabilitation-there is residual hearing, early use of hearing aids, parents almost sacrificed their lives and devoted themselves to her. "Although the current rehabilitation technology has improved, it is not 100%. It can be copied."
"Guess what this means?" Zheng Xuan gestured with the number six in her left hand, and put the index finger and middle finger of her right hand together, placed in the middle of the six and swiped gently. She explained that in sign language, the six gesture represents "person", and the extended sword refers to "sword." Cutting a person with a knife means performing an operation. In a restaurant that haunts Chongqing people’s bright voices, Zheng Xuan constantly changed her gestures, using various expressions ranging from place names to emotions. “In this environment, if we all know sign language, we don’t need to talk together. Shout out, right?"
This is Zheng Xuan's beautiful vision, but in reality, sign language is still equated with "shame" by some people. Although sign language linguistics as a subject has a history of sixty years.
Among some parents that Zheng Xuan contacted, many people are ashamed to let their children use sign language, but let their children complete boring oral language training year after year. The only goal is to look more like a "normal person", some " "Going ashore", and some of them clearly can't see the effect, and they still persist unwillingly.
Zhou Xunhong, who has worked at Chongqing School for the Deaf and Dumb for more than 20 years, remembers that there were parents who went directly to the school and were not allowed to teach their children sign language.
Lei Ming, the only deaf teacher in this school, was convinced by sign language when he was a child. "Sign language is beautiful and it has a soul. My family asked me to speak spoken language, but I was frustrated in the process of speaking. Express yourself in different ways." After learning sign language, Lei Ming felt that he had entered a new world. She feels happy without forcing herself to speak.
Zheng Xuan said that sign language is essentially a visual language, which is more intuitive, vivid and concise. She hopes that more people will know sign language, but it does not mean she rejects spoken language. “It’s good if you can learn spoken language, but if it’s difficult to learn, or if you don’t have the learning conditions, then you don’t have to force yourself. Even if the spoken language is well recovered, learn sign language at the same time, master one more language and one more. What does the way of communication matter?"
Sign language is a possibility. Parents of deaf children should know that there are other choices in life, not just speaking. Zheng Xuan’s point of view is that when a deaf child has not the ability to choose, he should be exposed to various languages as much as possible, and every path should be shown to the parents. “Children who grow up in a bilingual environment often show A special advantage. Growing up and letting them make their own decisions, there is nothing wrong with either choice."
Don't speak, then?
Zheng Xuan regards regaining sign language as the "key" to retrieving himself, but even within the deaf community, there are disagreements on this approach.
The deaf group is diverse, including sign language users (people who use sign language as their first language), spoken language users (people who use spoken language as their first language), and someone like Zheng Xuan who masters two languages at the same time. She always gets into a dilemma because of this. Sign language users and spoken language users do not recognize each other, and the difference between the two is a long-standing problem among the deaf community.
Deaf people who can speak do not agree with sign language and think that as long as there is a slight chance of learning spoken language, they must firmly grasp it and return to "normal". But for sign language users, they believe that as a deaf person, sign language is a sign of the group, "it is a status symbol."
Zheng Xuan wanted to find that balance, but found it difficult to go down. She understands the questions on both sides, "Why are sign language people dissatisfied with people who use spoken language? As a minority group of languages, they are in a relatively weak position. Even sign language interpreters sometimes cannot accurately convey their intentions. Expression needs for a long time Depressed, he will always explode. For spoken language users, speaking means being able to get close to the mainstream listening world, and there will be a lot of convenience. This kind of opportunity is often not available to sign language users even if they are very capable. "
Even if you choose not to speak, how to build the road after this is not easy.
In the past few years, the most widely circulated sign language reference book on the market was "Chinese Sign Language (Upper and Lower Revised Edition)", which was written by the Chinese Association of the Deaf in 2003, commonly known as the "Yellow Book". The two books have only more than 5600 words in total. Zheng Xuan said that the practicality of the book is not high, and the deaf community actually does not approve it. "There are many words, and the traces of artificial design are obvious. They are too far away from the language of the deaf. In fact, it is like learning English when we were young. We learned Chinese English."
In contrast, the sign language commonly used among the deaf has a different grammatical order and a richer vocabulary, and its formation can even be traced back to the founding of China's first school for the deaf in 1887. There are also dialects in sign languages in various places, Wuhan Sign Language, Chongqing Sign Language, and Shanghai Sign Language all have vocabulary differences.
Most of the sign language of the deaf group is gradually acquired from life and interpersonal communication. After Zheng Xuan came to Chongqing and did fieldwork among the deaf community, he learned how the local "chaotianmen" and "schoolyard mouths" are expressed in sign language. For the first time, he discovered that the sign language of the elderly and the young people are very different. Vocabulary differences. "There are a lot of authentic sign language styles that need to be collected from the society bit by bit, and then further researched. In fact, they have not been systematically unearthed."
In May 2018, the "National Common Sign Language Common Vocabulary List" was released. During the compilation of this book, deaf people have more participation, but Zheng Xuan said that many commonly used words are still not included, and certain styles of play in the book are still controversial among the deaf masses.
Other necessary conditions have yet to be resolved. In Chongqing School for the Deaf, Lei Ming is still the only teacher for the deaf. Most of the teachers who listen to people start to learn sign language after arriving at the school for the deaf. The school also wants to recruit more deaf teachers, but the establishment problem has not been solved. Because the preparation means having a teacher's qualification certificate, which includes the Putonghua test, which is almost impossible for the deaf. Although the current policy has been loosened and the scores in Mandarin are replaced by sign language tests, the actual operation is still difficult to advance. Lei Ming has worked in Chongqing School for the Deaf for ten years. He has passed the exams, but he has failed to apply for teacher qualifications several times. They are still outside staff.
In 2020, Zheng Xuan has a new start. A teacher in the Special Education Department of Beijing Normal University in the direction of deaf education retired, and they extended an invitation to Zheng Xuan. After being transferred to Beijing, Zheng Xuan's main research direction is sign language and hearing impaired education. In the past few years, Zheng Xuan has been very busy, and coming to Beijing has given her more time to focus on scientific research. She also believes that this may be an opportunity to make more changes and find a broader and smoother path for those deaf people who "choose not to speak" and their families.
Text/Reporter Liang Ting