The new domestic drama "In the Name of Family", which premiered on August 10th, was popularly searched and was rated 8.6 points by nearly 30,000 people on Douban. The theme is novel: three children who have experienced the pain of their original family, under the care of their two fathers, form a new family of "non-blood relationship". The mother’s “absence” also triggered discussions. How does this “widowed parenting” care for the child’s mental health? A reporter from the Yangtze Evening News asked a psychologist for interpretation.

　　Yangtze Evening News/Ziniu News reporter Zhang Nan

　　Tan Songyun's "Mom, I am here" is distressing

　　The plots of the first few episodes dealt with the painful experiences of the three children in their native families. The heroine Li Jianjian’s mother died in an accident, and his father Li Haichao opened a noodle restaurant to take care of his daughter growing up; the policeman Ling Heping lived upstairs. In one family, when his son Ling Xiao was at home alone with his little daughter, he was locked up by his mother. The younger sister accidentally choked on walnuts and died. The mother was puzzled and complained about the family, and finally abandoned the child and left home. Someone introduced He Ziqiu’s mother to Li Haichao. Knowing, I hope they can live together, but He Ziqiu's mother will leave her son after borrowing money from Li Haichao. He Ziqiu, who has been abandoned by his biological parents, has matured like an adult since childhood. Three children injured by family relationships and two broken single-parent families finally came together, and Li Haichao and Ling Heping assumed the responsibility of taking care of the children.

　　The hit drama once again touched on the original family problem. The key to this "widowed parenting" is that the mother is "absent." Many viewers put "Ling Xiao's mother Chen Ting too angry" on the top search. It also caused the audience to think that family is not only a blood relationship, but also an emotional bond. While telling the pain, the family of the "three children and two dads" family of five is too loving every day, unfolding in a realistic life scene, trivial, funny and full of fireworks.

　　As the saying goes, "A child without a mother is like grass." In fact, children secretly miss their mother. When Li Jianjian watched the shooting stars pass by and shouted, "Mom, I am here, have you seen me?" Fans who knew that Tan Songyun's mother died in a car accident last year, secretly felt sorry for Tan Songyun.

　　Interpretation 1: In the absence of mother, father's maternal personality brings "warm field"

　　Yang Jingping, a psychologist at Nanjing No. 5 Middle School, told reporters that in the process of chasing the drama, he noticed that a sense of security and belonging is very important in the critical stage of the child’s growth. With the psychological trauma of losing his mother, he was under the care of the parenting team formed by the two fathers , The three children acted as playmates for each other, avoiding the loneliness brought by the native family and not causing more serious psychological problems.

　　From a psychological point of view, human beings are androgynous. Human emotions and mentality are both male and female. Through living together and interacting with each other, both men and women acquire characteristics of the opposite sex, and only coordination and understanding can be achieved between the two sexes. Li Jianjian’s father brought a kind of "warm field" similar to a mother, and his maternal personality was well displayed in him. He not only cooked for the children, but also pampered them, cared for them carefully, and made up for the absence of his mother. The lack of emotion brought about. It's funny that he argues with Ling Xiao's father Ling Heping, just like a couple.

　　Interpretation 2: Peer support system, grow together to resolve loneliness

　　In addition, the greater harm to children from divorced or single-parent families is their isolation. The growth of the three children together resolves loneliness and helplessness. For the problems encountered in the growth process, they adopt mutual help to solve them. For example, they will bravely hug each other when they encounter the threat of violence. Even the older brother will prepare underwear for the puberty younger sister and take on the things that the mother should do. This peer support system formed the second protection circle in the play. "Three babies and two dads" accidentally formed a healthy lifestyle, and also reminded parents in their lives. Although the parents are divorced, as long as the parents have a sound personality, it is completely possible for the children to experience the love from the father and mother. Cultivate mentally healthy children.

　　Interpretation 3: Mothers who run away need help to reconcile with their children

　　In fact, the reason why the mothers in the play are absent from the critical period of their children's growth is that they were not yet mature at the time and were also in the growing period. Especially a mother who has experienced the accidental departure of her child, in a state where she cannot protect herself, there is no way to care about others. She threw her three-year-old daughter and six-year-old son at home to play mahjong, failing to fulfill her obligation to take care of the children. After the accident, she not only blamed her husband for not spending more time taking care of the children, but also blamed her son for the mistake. Why did she give her sister walnuts? Leave the psychological shadow of "killing the sister with your own hands" to the son.

　　Faced with a wife who can't let go, the husband who is busy with work has no time to accompany him for effective enlightenment. Yang Jingping believes that such a mother needs more help and should receive psychological treatment. When they come out after years of precipitation, come back with guilt, facing their children, they want to ask for forgiveness and acceptance, and they need dads to coordinate. But this process may be difficult. Judging from real life examples, children must be with their mothers in spirit to reach reconciliation with life and achieve healing.